Page 142 of The Substitute

“What?” I peel his arm off me. “Are you cooking in the bathroom again?”

Teddy hands me a beer, which I take, and try to find Ambrose in the crowd, but he must have sat down somewhere because I don’t see him.

“Not anymore. Rhys took the quesadilla maker and put a lock on the plug. You believe that? How am I supposed to eat in the shower?”

“No one eats in the shower.”

“I do. When I’m bulking up,” my brother says like this is the most obvious thing in the world.

I don’t know how to respond to that, and since I’m trying to be nicer, I choose not to say anything.

Ambrose’s laugh carries across the bar, and I turn to look for him. He’s leaning on a high-top table with a big smile on his face as he listens to some dude bro telling him something. He laughs at all the right places, smiles, probably winks.

This is okay. I can do this. He’s just talking to people. I don’t need to be attached to his hip. This is fine.

The doubts try to creep in, tries to tell me he’s better off with someone in here. It can’t be that hard to find someone easier to deal with.

I chug the last of my beer and notice Rhys sitting on a stool next to Teddy, watching me.

“What?” I snap and don’t really mean to, so I force myself to take a deep breath.

He flicks his gaze at Ambrose then back to me, raising an eyebrow in question. I’ve known him long enough to know he’s asking if I have something going on with my roommate, but I can’t tell him, so I shake my head.

“You’re wearing your glasses,” Rhys says like I’m not aware of it.

“Clearly.”

“Why? You hate them.”

I get another beer and take a drink before I answer, but I’m interrupted.

“Aww, broseph, you’re wearing my jersey!” Teddy reaches for me, quicker than I expect, and I’m forced into a hug.

And he’s getting really drunk. Great.

“Ugh, get off!” I shove at him, but he clings to me harder. “Rhys! Get him off me, or I’m going to hurt him!”

Rhys sighs and wraps his arms around the big lug. “Come on, Teddy Bear, let go of Tobi.”

“But he’s my broseph! My broster. My lil bro!” He’s all but yelling while still clinging to me. “He’s wearing my jersey! It means he loves me! I’m so excited to see him, I just want to squish him and squeeze him!”

“We’ve talked about this. You can’t touch people without permission. Remember the guy in the park?” Rhys sounds like he’s talking to a small child.

“He looked like Santa! How do you expect me to not hug Santa?”

“He had wings on,” Rhys deadpans, and I hide my laugh behind my hand.

Teddy turns to face Rhys like that’s going to make this conversation make more sense. “But they were red wings!”

“Babe. He was a bear, and it was a pride festival. He also had a twink on a leash.”

Oh, for fuck‘s sake.

“I swear to God, Teddy,” I start with a laugh, but another hockey bro, one I kind of recognize, starts talking to him.

“Tendy! I found bunnies! Not the puck kind—like real bunnies!” The guy seems really excited for some reason, and Teddy’s head turns around like that possessed girl in The Exorcist while Rhys’ eyes widen in horror.

“No!” Rhys says while Teddy shouts, “Yes!”