Page 131 of The Substitute

“I know.”

“Did you tell him about finding me there?”

“I’m not a snitch. I’d never tell him your shit or anything you tell me, and I wouldn’t tell you his. And clearly, he hasn’t told you mine.” Which I feel good about. I may not love the guy, but he’s always been loyal, which I guess is better than I’m currently acting.

“I…I… This whole time I have put him on a pedestal because he was going to med school. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. I’m so tired of the comparison to him that I can’t live up to because he’s kept you in the dark. He’s using the fact that you don’t know to his advantage, and it’s bullshit. I will not live in his fucking shadow anymore. You of all people should understand that.” I barely keep back my emotions.

Tobi’s face is bright red, like he’s been slapped, and I hate it. Tears are filling his eyes, and I know I’ve gotten my point across. “I’m so sorry,” he pants as the emotions he’s been bottling up overflow. “I know that’s not enough, and I didn’t mean to, but you’re right. It’s not okay.”

It’s killing me to see him like this and do nothing.

Slowly, I reach out to cup his cheek and brush the tears from his skin. With a sob, he falls into me and brings his mouth to mine. It’s salty and desperate but ours. It’s a reconnection. Tobi clings to me, and I pull his hips to mine so no air lives between our bodies. I need to ground myself in him, in knowing he’s still here and that I haven’t ruined this.

“I almost pushed you away because I’m so biased against hockey players. I could have lost you over being an idiot.” Tobi presses his forehead to mine. “I gave him more leeway because I thought it was interviews, not hockey, but one shouldn’t be more important than the other. It’s important to you, so it needs to be important to me. I should have never even compared the two. Wow, I’m such an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole. I get why you were upset about hockey, but I am not Rhys or your brother.” I close my eyes and let the tension out of my shoulders. “Thank you.”

He runs his nose along mine in a sweet caress. “Can we cuddle? I miss you.”

“Of course we can, but I need you skin to skin.”

He smiles and quickly agrees, ripping his shirt off over his head.

Once we’re down to our boxers, I lie down on his bed and pull his back to my chest, sliding my leg through his. From chest to feet we’re touching, and it soothes a ragged part of me. The hand I have on his stomach slides up his chest and throat to his chin. I turn his chin toward me and take his lips is a slow, deep kiss.

Fuck, I needed this more than I thought.

The control and the proof he’s still in this with me calms a part of my heart.

“Wait, he’s a fucking goalie?”

“Yes?” I ask, confused why that point is sticking out to him.

“My brother is a fucking goalie. Gross!”

I laugh, then slip a hand into his hair, holding him in the position I want while I strip off both our boxers. Tobi grips my wrist and sinks into the possessive hold.

“Can we come like this?” Tobi’s question is hesitant, but I’m so proud of him for asking for what he wants.

“Yes, I just need the lube.” He stiffens for a second but reaches for the drawer where the bottle is. “I’m going to fuck your thighs.”

He shudders and settles back against me. “How did I not know about all the different ways to get off?”

I chuckle into his shoulder and spread his thighs. Propping my foot on the bed, I use my knee to hold his top leg up and wide. It’s a sexy fucking position from where I’m at, but I kind of wish I could see it from the front, too.

Tobi’s face turns red, and he presses his face into the pillow. “What are you doing?”

I pour some lube in my hand and drag it across his upper thigh. “Slicking you up.”

He gasps and arches his hips into my touch. Getting more lube, I cup his balls, stroke his cock, then his other inner thigh. He’s already leaking, and I’ve barely touched him.

“Cross your ankles—lock them together.”

Tobi does what I’ve told him, and I slide my lubed cock between his thighs.

My eyes roll back at the delicious squeeze. “Good fucking boy.”