Page 81 of Something Like Winter

“Yeah?”

“I can almost guarantee it.”

This made Tim entertain several fantasies of his own. He had never dreamed he’d have another chance with Ben. Lightning didn’t strike twice, did it?

“A lot has changed,” Eric prompted.

Tim snorted. “Hardly. I’m still in the closet. It’s just that I’ve gotten really comfortable with the idea of being there. Besides, Chicago isn’t exactly close.”

“A thousand miles is nothing in the name of—” Eric’s voice caught as he started coughing, a fit that lasted almost five minutes. This had been happening more and more recently. Tim was getting worried, but Eric still hadn’t confided in him. “Damn smoker’s cough,” he said once he could breathe again.

“What brand?” Tim asked.

“Sorry?”

“The brand you smoked. Which was your favorite?”

“Oh.” Eric looked surprised. “Uh, Camels.”

“Yeah, but what kind?”

Eric grasped for an answer before he looked at Tim anew. “Why does it matter?”

Tim just stared in response.

Eric sighed. “You know, don’t you?”

Tim swallowed and nodded.

“For how long?”

“Since before Christmas. I kept waiting for you to tell me.” “Marcello?”

“Not really. I bumped into your hospice nurse on the street.”

“And you didn’t run her over?” Eric took a sip of his iced tea, leaning back in the patio chair. “I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings by not telling you. For what it’s worth, I don’t like anyone to know.”

“Why?”

“Because people look at you differently. You become frail in their eyes, and anything you do imperfectly they interpret as a sign that death is creeping closer. Instead of talking about themselves, people are always asking how you’re doing, but they do so with such finality, just waiting for you to confirm that you’re one foot in the grave.”

Tim shook his head. “I haven’t treated you differently.”

Eric was quiet for a moment. “No. You haven’t.”

“Then don’t hide it from me, okay?”

Eric nodded before laughing. “Looks like I’m just an old closet case myself.”

“Two peas in a pod,” Tim said, nudging him. Then he grew serious. “So what are we dealing with exactly? Lung cancer?”

Eric nodded.

“My aunt’s ex-husband had that, and he pulled through after chemo. Last I heard he was doing fine.”

Eric remained quiet.

“It’s worth a shot, right?”