Page 16 of Something Like Winter

“Right.”

Tim turned on the TV, allowing himself a chuckle once Ben left the room. He would cut Ben loose after today. Tim figured he was trying to make amends or searching for an excuse to be around. Either way, Tim could take care of himself. But for now, he only wanted to kick back and relax. He flipped through the channels, settling on music videos.

Soon the smell of pizza filled the house. When Ben came into the room with two plates loaded with slices, Tim was nearly drooling in anticipation. They watched videos together, poking fun at all the bad ones and flipping between VH1 and MTV to avoid commercials. When they had finished eating, Ben took the plates to the kitchen, then hurried back and plopped on the couch. Tim was about to change back to MTV when Ben made him stop.

“Wait! I love this song!”

Tim had heard it plenty of times already. The radio stations were going crazy playing The Fugees’Killing Me Softly,but the song had never caught his ear before. Nor had the silky male voice that came in halfway through.

Tim looked to his left, jaw dropping. Ben was singing, but not how other people crooned along with real music. Ben’s voice was studio sweet, sounding so perfect that Tim wanted to snap at Lauryn Hill to be quiet so he could hear better.

Instead Tim covertly turned down the TV’s volume, which wasn’t hard since Ben’s eyes were locked on his. Gone was any sign of passive interest or furtive glances. Ben’s full attention was on Tim now as he sang. And it was beautiful. Scratch that,Benwas beautiful. Forget Darryl’s money, Stacy’s cunning, or Bryce’s muscles. Ben had the voice, and that should have made him the most popular guy in school because it was so damn hot! Girls should be heartbroken over him, and guys should be doing everything to be more like him.

Then the song ended and Ben looked away, his cheeks a little red. Tim stared dumbfounded for a couple more seconds before he clapped and cheered, happy to make an ass of himself.

“You can sing!”

“Yeah,” Ben said with a nervous chuckle. “I do all right.”

“Why don’t you do that all the time? I mean, if I had a voice like yours, I would sing everything instead of talking like normal people do.”

Ben laughed. “That might get ooooold after a whiiiile!” he sang opera style.

Okay, so maybe that sounded dumb, but Tim wanted to hear Ben belt out a real song again. “Do this one!” he said, turning the volume up a little.

“It’s the Beastie Boys,” Ben said. “They aren’t singing, they’re rapping. Or whining. Wait until a song like the last one comes on. Hey, have you ever heard the originalKilling Me Softly?”

Tim shook his head.

“Roberta Flack! She’s a goddess. I’ll play that version for you sometime. Then you won’t think I have a good voice. I get goose bumps every time I hear it.”

Tim had goose bumps still, so he tried to chill out and stop acting like a groupie. They watched another couple of videos together until one came on that Ben liked. Then he started singing again, this time with his eyes closed, and Tim felt those same feelings come rushing back. It hadn’t just been the song or the moment. That voice was freaking magical! Tim really couldn’t understand why Ben wasn’t more popular. Maybe it was the gay thing, but surely people would forgive Ben for anything if they could hear him sing.

Once the song was over, Tim did his best not to gush. “Are you in choir or anything like that?”

Ben nodded.

“So people at school have heard you sing.”

“Yeah, but usually just the people who go to recitals. I also sang in the talent show freshman year.”

And the school didn’t worship him? Ben sang another song for him —at least it felt that way—and once he was finished, Tim shut off the TV. Then he asked the question that kept popping up in his mind. “So what’s it like being gay?”

“Like anything else, I guess. What’s it like to be whatever you are?”

“Straight,” Tim said firmly before getting back on track. “Don’t you catch a lot of flack for it? I mean, everyone at school knows, right?”

“Yup.”

“I’m surprised you don’t get your ass kicked every day.”

“I get a lot of crap.” Ben shrugged like it didn’t matter. “But I got crap before I came out for totally different reasons. It’s no different now. Not really.”

“True, true.” Tim nodded sagely. “If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Like you would know! It must be hard being a jock with rich parents and a brand-new sports car. People must tease you mercilessly.”

Tim grinned in response. “When you put it like that, I do have it good, but I still get crap from people. Miss a catch or don’t make it to base and your team turns on you, especially if you lose the game.”