Page 113 of Something Like Winter

One suggestive look, and Ben was enlightened.

“I’m done with school today,” Tim said. “You?”

“Home free.”

“Good. Come inside.”

Ben was uncharacteristically silent as Tim turned the key in the lock. But it wouldn’t turn because it was already unlocked.

“I let myself in around the back,” Ben said sheepishly.

“Want a key to my house?” Tim said as he ushered him in. “I’ll put it on a necklace for you and everything.”

“And then I’ll sneak upstairs to your room at night?”

“Yeah.”

The words sounded humorous, but they carried weight. Tim took Ben’s hand, leading him through the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. Standing next to the bed, he brought Ben close, pressing their hips together and swaying slowly, as if it were the last dance of the night. Ben’s eyes glittered, considering Tim anew. That was good. He wanted Ben to see that everything had changed, but so often he lacked the words to express how. What could he say that would communicate what Eric was to him? What words were sufficient to explain the years of regret that plagued him since the summer of ninety-seven?

So instead, Tim slowly undressed Ben, and unlike Saturday’s blur of heat and passion, today he took his time, kissing Ben everywhere, running his hands along his skin, rediscovering every part of him. When they lay together on the bed, the sex was secondary, a byproduct of their closeness. Even after they came, their touches didn’t cease.

Ben lay in the crook of Tim’s arm, tracing the contours of his muscles. “What are we?” he asked.

“After that? Exhausted.”

“Seriously.”

Okay, time to get real. “Well, I’d like to think that you’re my boyfriend.”

There was a heavy silence. The Ben of old had been so happy when Tim finally confirmed their relationship, but now he was pensive. For the first time, he truly believed Ben had changed just as much as he had.

When Ben finally spoke, Tim was surprised at the topic. “Are you staying in Austin after you graduate?”

“I guess so. I don’t really want to go back to Houston. Do you?”

“No. Do you ever visit?”

Tim readjusted his position, trying to remember the last time he’d gone to see his parents. He kept his answer simple. “For the holidays, yeah.”

“Your parents will be surprised to see me in your life again.”

Surely the dinner thing the other day had been a joke. And why the hell would Ben think that Tim wouldwantto bring him back there?

Ben tensed. “They don’t know you’re gay, do they?”

Okay, so some things hadn’t changed. “Why bother telling them? They’re hardly part of my life.”

Ben propped up on an elbow. “You said you came out!”

“I did! To friends and lots of other people. I don’t tell my family anything about me.”

“But what if they found out?” Ben said. “Last time that almost happened you ditched me rather than be discovered.”

“I’ll tell them if you want,” Tim snapped. “Am I supposed to call them right now, or can we relax?”

Ben swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He sat there a moment before standing and putting on his clothes. Tim was sure he was about to leave, but Ben glanced back and said, “I’ll make us something to eat.”

“Want me to help?”