Page 139 of Something Like Winter

“I overdosed!” Ryan whined.

“And I was there holding your hand in the hospital as they pumped your stomach. When I told you that you almost died, you cried. I thought there was still hope for you then, but I’ve seen you almost overdose every night since. I don’t know how to fix you, Ryan. I wish I did, but it’s not going to be my money that helps destroy you. Not anymore.”

“You need me! Ben won’t stick around. He’ll leave you and you’ll be alone. Then what will you do?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Tim put a gentle hand on Ryan’s shoulder, guiding him out of the room. “Come on. We’ll pack your things.”

“I’m not packing anything!”

“Then you’ll watch me do it.” He tightened the arm he had around Ryan, trying to make it feel supportive when really he just wanted to get him away from Ben. Thankfully, Ben didn’t follow them out of the room.

“You can’t make me leave,” Ryan said on the way up the stairs. He kept stopping like they would stand there and discuss it. Tim tried to keep him walking. Eventually he gave up and went into the bedroom by himself, gathering up Ryan’s things while listening for signs of trouble from downstairs. But soon Ryan came into the room, his face contorted with anger. “How long have you been seeing him?”

“Ben?” Tim smirked. “Since I was seventeen.”

“You know what I mean!”

Tim grabbed a bunch of shirts from the closet and stuffed them in the suitcase, hangers and all. “We never stopped seeing each other. Not really.”

“So you’ve always been cheating on me?”

“Yeah.” Lying to him—hurting him intentionally—wasn’t a good feeling. But it had to be done.

Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, head down, and Tim started getting angry himself. What right did he have to act so hurt when he’s the one who cheated? Tim packed the rest of Ryan’s things with little care, then called a taxi while watching Ryan cry.

“Where are you going to go?” Tim asked him.

“I don’t know.”

“Go home. Your parents will take you in.”

“I hate them!”

“You hate everything.” Tim headed for the door. “Come on.”

“No.”

“I’ll call the cops if I have to. Now come on.”

Ryan stood and took hold of his arm. “Please,” he said. “Please don’t make me go. I’m sorry.”

Tim ignored him, walking to the front door and practically dragging Ryan along. Even when they passed Ben on the way, Ryan kept begging, and Tim felt oddly embarrassed for him. When the taxi arrived, he gave the driver a hundred bucks and told him to take Ryan wherever he wanted. As the taxi drove away, Tim stood in the street watching it go, the brake lights blazing red before the car turned at a corner and disappeared from sight.

“You okay?”

Tim turned around to find Ben there. “Yeah.” Then he gave in to instinct and wrapped Ben in his arms. Everything about him brought comfort. The feel of his body, the familiar scent of his skin, the warmth of his neck. “You always know how to make things right. I’m a mess without you.”

“I’m awesome, I know.” Ben gently pulled away. “I’m also in trouble. Jace is going to give me hell when he finds out I kissed you, no matter what the reason. Youaregoing to make all my suffering worth it by never seeing Ryan again, right?”

Tim stepped close. “Since you’re going to be in trouble anyway—”

Ben playfully pushed him away and they laughed.

“Oh, man.” Tim looked toward the house. “Chinchilla is still locked up.”

“She’s fine,” Ben said. “While you were upstairs I let her out and gave her some honey ham I found in the fridge.”

“That’s good.” Tim stared at him and couldn’t help wishing things were different. He supposed he always would.