Page 42 of Something Like Winter

“We can move back if we need to.”

They would do anything to split him and Ben up, and they only knew half the truth.

“You should be going to the movies with your girlfriend on a Saturday night,” his mother said.

Tim met her gaze, wondering if she saw the jolt of fear he felt. Did she know? She must be suspicious. She certainly wasn’t stupid. Maybe she liked Ben, but while they were laughing through a cheesy Jim Carrey movie, holding hands even though the film wasn’t the slightest bit romantic, she had been at home putting the puzzle pieces together. The tears in his mother’s eyes took on new meaning. They were tentative, an expression of the pain caused by her suspicions.

“Krista wasn’t feeling well,” Tim said, his tongue feeling numb. “Girl problems. I only went out with Ben because I felt sorry for him.”

“Of course!” His mother sounded so hopeful, ready to accept any other conclusion than the one she feared.

But when Tim glanced at his father, he saw none of that. Instead his father’s silver eyes watched him intently, daring him to hurt his wife again. Tim knew he couldn’t say or do anything to reassure him. Thomas would be monitoring him closely from now on. Tim supposed he should feel happy. He had always wanted his parents to take an interest in his life. Now they had.

Chapter Ten

Tim pounded on Ben’s front door the next morning, having barely slept at all, alternating between anger and despair so often that he didn’t know who he blamed anymore. The only certainty was that his worst fear had come true. What he and Ben had together was ruined.

Ben answered the door wearing the same stupid smile they shared last night, like they had won an election or something. Tim hated the reminder of how naïve they had been, so he said something guaranteed to wipe the smile from Ben’s face.

“They don’t want me to see you anymore.”

“What?”

“My parents. They don’t want me to be your friend.”

Ben’s hurt expression almost extinguished the fire inside, but Tim

had tried to warn him. No, he couldn’t stop feeling pissed, because all of this was Ben’s fault!

“What happened? I thought they liked me?”

“They did, Benjamin, but Jesus Christ, they’re Catholic! They aren’t going to ignore their religion just because you can bullshit about sports or geography.”

Ben glanced behind him, checking to see if his family had heard before stepping outside and closing the door. “Maybe they just need some time to—”

“To what? Call the Pope and ask him to change the rules for you?” Tim kicked at the concrete walkway, trying to keep his anger from turning into tears. “I told you this would happen. I told you they would get in the way. How could I have been so stupid?”

“Nothing is in our way!” Ben sounded more desperate than confident. “So they aren’t going to invite me to dinner again. Big deal! We just go about things like we did before.”

“Do we? We just keep screwing around until the day they find us together? Jesus!”

“I think we can definitely leave him out of this.”

Tim glared at him. “This isn’t funny! My parents are going to be looking at me differently now. Questioning why their son is hanging around with someone like you!” Tim did his best impression of his father. “Gee, honey, how come our son brought a gay guy to dinner and not his girlfriend? Hm. I fucking wonder!”

“Stop it.”

“That’s exactly what we should do!”

He hated the words, but he wouldn’t take them back. They were inevitable. Ben had pushed and pushed and pushed, and now everything was broken. Tim didn’t know how to fix it. No one could. He turned and walked away, desperate to put space between him and the hurt shock on Ben’s face.

“Don’t ever come back!” Ben shouted after him.

Tim swore to himself that he never would.

* * * * *

The door to Tim’s bedroom clicked open. He glanced at the clock without shifting in bed. Just after midnight. Their usual time. Sometimes when Ben arrived, Tim was already asleep, not waking until he felt Ben’s body next to his. On nights like tonight, Tim hadn’t slept a wink. He was exhausted, tossing and turning and regretting the scene at Ben’s house.