Page 30 of Something Like Winter

“Which I told her I would run up and ask,” Ben muttered.

“Oh. Uh.” Tim tried to remember what he usually got, a task made harder by the way June’s eyes twinkled—like her son had brought home a girl for the first time. “Canadian bacon and pineapple,” he managed at last.

“Yuck,” Ben said. “Just cheese and diced tomatoes on my side.”

“Okay. Well, you two have fun tonight. I won’t barge in again, I promise.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Tim said.

Ben’s mom checked him out once more, looking a little less certain. No doubt about it, she was trying to figure out if they were an item or not.

“Sorry about that,” Ben said once the door was shut and locked.

“It’s cool.” Tim sat on the bed again. “She seems nice.”

“Yeah. Well, the good news is that you’re all clear to spend the night.”

“Isn’t that a little weird?” Tim asked. “I mean, that would be like asking my parents if a girl could spend the night. They would flip, even if she was just a friend.”

“I guess. I had guy friends spend the night when I was a kid, so there’s precedent.” Ben moved through his room, self-consciously straightening different things. “Anyway, do you need to call your parents or something?”

Tim shook his head. “They won’t notice.”

“Oh.”

For a moment, everything felt awkward. Mothers could be a tremendous mood killer, and they weren’t going to get it on while waiting for pizza to arrive.

“Oh, I know!” Ben said. “I’ve been dying to play this for you.”

He moved to his CD racks, running his finger along one of them until he found what he was looking for. “Roberta Flack,” he said, but it didn’t ring a bell until the stereo started playingKilling Me Softly.But this version was much more chill, without all the bored rappers in the background making random noises. Ben gave him an “is this cool or what?” look, to which Tim nodded in response, but he wasn’t completely satisfied.

“Sing,” he said.

Ben gawped at him, as if the idea was unthinkable. “It’s Roberta Flack!”

Tim crossed his arms over his chest and scowled until Ben gave in. Roberta sounded good with a guy backing her up. Ben’s voice chased away the awkwardness, casting a spell on his room and conjuring their private fantasy world back into existence. And Tim was happy.

The rest of the night was easy. They made small talk, Tim asking about different things he saw in the room, like the stories behind the various photos of Ben and Allison. When the doorbell rang, Ben rushed out to get their pizza, making another trip for a two-liter bottle of Coke and some glasses. They watchedToy Storywhile they ate, a movie Tim missed when it was still in theaters. Ben’s dad managed the local cable company, so they had every possible channel and even got their pay-perview movies for free.

The side of Ben’s bed was shoved up against the wall directly across from the TV, doubling as a long couch. Tim stretched out his legs, and as the movie wore on, he moved one so it touched Ben’s. Then Ben scooted over, their arms brushing and making Tim’s skin tingle. Tired of being coy, he took Ben’s hand in his own, and it didn’t feel strange like he thought it might.

Ben must have seen the film before, because he sang along withYou’ve Got a Friend in Mewhenever it played in the story, shooting a few coy smiles in Tim’s direction. When the movie was over, Ben shut off the TV with the remote, neither of them moving from the bed. The room was dark, lit only by a street light outside.

“It was never like this,” Ben said. “Those other guys, they never held my hand.”

Tim wished he hadn’t said that. If a bunch of other horny straight guys didn’t cuddle up with Ben, then it made him look, well—

“They didn’t even kiss me,” Ben said. “Everything was one-sided.”

They didn’t kiss him? Now Tim felt more conflicted than ever. If given an ultimatum between kissing Ben and getting blown by him, Tim thought he could go without the oral sex. Those other guys had no idea what they were missing.

Ben squeezed his hand. “I just want you to know that this isn’t a game I’ve played dozens of times before.”

“Okay.” That’s all Tim could think to say. He didn’t want to delve into what any of this meant. Doing so made it too hard for him to enjoy.

“Ready for bed?” Ben asked.

Tim smirked. “Something like that.”