Page 90 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

Twenty-Three

Riva

D ancing with Andreas is the strangest feeling. Like a war is being waged inside me.

The mark he gave me tickles eagerly. My nerves clamor to push closer against him.

My muscles tense in resistance, not ready to let go of the wariness I’ve held on to for so long.

He’s tense too, holding himself a careful distance away from me, never stepping any nearer. One of his hands rests on my waist so lightly I can barely feel the pressure.

The warmth of it blooms across my skin anyway.

His fingers twine loosely with mine, leaving the way open for me to pull away if I need to. As we turn in a slow circle with the elegant tune, he gazes down at me.

No red sheen colors his eyes now. I think he’s watching for the slightest sign that I’ve changed my mind, that he’s overstayed his welcome.

The silence between us starts to weigh on me.

“I liked all of the dresses,” I tell him. “It was hard to pick. This one just felt the most right for how I’m feeling at the moment.”

A hint of a smile touches his lips. “I’m glad. It was hard to know—I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in any dress. Or with your hair up like that. Was that Pearl’s idea?”

I laugh awkwardly. “I just let her do whatever she wanted.”

“She did a good job. You look stunning. I could hardly breathe when you first walked in.” He pauses, and his voice dips. “I can hardly breathe now.”

I squeeze his hand instinctively and hear him swallow. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I totally forgive you yet. There are pieces of me that still hurt. They might for a long time.”

“That’s okay,” Andreas says quickly. “I wasn’t pushing for anything. I just—doing this was the only thing I could think of that came close to showing you how much you mean to me.”

A lump rises in my throat. “I like the party a lot too.”

His lips curve into a clearer smile. “Good. That’s what matters the most.”

Behind the anguish and the fear that I’ll pull away after all, I can see the boy he used to be in his face. The Drey who’d always have a wry remark to break through a tense moment and a story to tell to lift us out of darker thoughts.

He had four years to marinate in the lies about me. To watch his friends struggling with their new talents and their grief, unable to help them.

Would I really have held on to my faith in my guys if the guardians had told me a similar story before they’d shipped me off? If they’d claimed that Griffin and I had been caught because one of the others had turned on us?

I don’t really know. I’d like to say I would have, but I wouldn’t have thought I could slaughter an entire arena of strangers either.

The truth is, I want to forgive Andreas. I want to sink into the sense that we belong together, that we’ll stand by each other, and leave the pain behind.

It might not be the smoothest road, but I can start that journey now. I don’t have to completely forgive him for the past to trust his devotion to me in the present.

With our next rotation, I ease half a step closer. Andreas’s head dips with a shaky exhalation, his breath tickling over my forehead.

My gaze drifts away from him for just a moment—and snags on Jacob still poised by the snacks table.

Poised is absolutely the word for it. Every muscle in his body looks coiled with tension, ready to spring—whether to tear me and Andreas apart or to climb the walls in frustration, it’s hard to tell from his taut expression.

And in that moment, taking in the chiseled planes of his face, I remember more of the conversation when I discovered Andreas’s betrayal.

With every word after I made it to their room, Jacob jabbed the knife in deeper and twisted it. He knew everything I only just saw in Andreas’s memory—he knew how adamantly Drey had fought for me and believed in me.

And even then, he did everything possible to convince me that the other guy was only playing at caring about me.

He’s very good at it, isn’t he? Got you to let your hair down and everything.

Then to Andreas, in front of me: You can stop now. I can’t see how you’ll get anything more out of her than you already have.

My feet stall in mid-turn. Andreas freezes, but the anger gripping my body now has nothing to do with him.

I spin toward Jacob. “ You lied to me. You knew Drey was sure I hadn’t done anything wrong, that he wasn’t trying to mess with me anymore, but you talked like he was still using me.”

How much of the pain tangled with my memories of Andreas are because of what he actually did, and how much is the wrenching sense of betrayal provoked by Jacob’s jabs?

Whatever color Jacob’s face contained drains from it. Somehow his stance goes even more rigid.

I half expect him to deny my accusation, but he squares his shoulders as if accepting a blow.

“I’m sorry,” he says in a voice as tight as his expression. “I thought—I was pissed off—it was a shitty thing to do. You can come at me too if you want to. I deserve it a hell of a lot more than Drey did.”

My fingers curl toward my palms, but from beneath the anger comes a twang of resistance.

I could yell at Jacob for the rest of the day and still not be finished letting out all my grievances. For just a little while with Andreas, I was starting to feel almost okay.

I don’t want to ruin this moment that wasn’t Jacob’s anyway, by delving into all that pain too.

“I don’t even want to think about you,” I reply in a voice so flat and cold it could rival him at his worst, and turn back to Andreas.

Bobbing up on my toes, I sling my arms around Drey’s neck and tug his mouth down to meet mine.

Am I aware that this move is guaranteed to twist the knife I just stabbed into Jacob? Hell yes, I am.

But the longing to get close to the man my body already claimed has been coursing through my veins for days, even if my broken heart has overridden the hunger. And the second our mouths collide, my desire is the only thing that matters.

Andreas lets out a soft, choked sound and hugs me to him tightly. Our lips meld together with a familiar electric thrill.

Every cell in me sings out with joy.

I’ve missed this man, I’ve craved him, and now he’s back where he’s meant to be.

The wave of emotion isn’t as intense as the first time we collided. An ache to resolidify our connection completely forms between my legs, but I’m not going to hump the guy right here on the dance floor.

No matter what happened after the first time, his touch still makes me feel giddily alive in ways nothing else can.

But not no one else.

A nervous chill flickers through my nerves, and I draw back just far enough to seek out a different pair of watching eyes. I find Dominic where he’s drifted over to the far wall.

I brace myself for anger or disappointment in his expression, but the moment I catch his gaze, he smiles. A broad, open smile, as if nothing could make him happier than seeing me reestablish my bond with his friend.

Unexpected tears flood my eyes. I clasp Andreas’s fingers with one hand and hold the other out to Dominic to beckon him over.

Andreas stands with a relaxed posture as Dom comes to join us. I grip Drey’s hand and tease my fingers down Dominic’s lean chest.

“This is my party, right? I want to dance with both of you.”

Dominic lets out a soft chuckle and sets a hand on my hip.

Andreas grins down at me, his eyes gleaming with affection. “What you want, you get, Tink.”

Club music would work better for this kind of collaboration, but we can make it work.

I close my eyes and tune into the subtle rhythm beneath the melody. Sway my body from side to side with the dips and swells.

As I revolve between them, the guys follow my lead, turning with me.

Dom trails both his hands up my sides to my ribs and then down to my thighs. He leans in to press a kiss to my shoulder from behind.

Andreas shimmies a little one way and then the other, always staying in front of me. His thumb strokes over my knuckles while his other hand slips around the back of my neck.

I’m caught between the two of them, but I don’t feel remotely trapped. They’re the fuel to my fire, and feeding on both of them makes it burn even brighter.

I don’t give a shit that the other two guys are watching. They picked their own paths away from me.

And if the shadowkind are peering at us from the shadows—let them stare if they want to.

I tip my head back against Dominic’s chest and feel the faint hitch of his breath. His groin brushes my ass with a hardness that sends my hunger spiking higher.

There are some things I don’t want an audience for. Things I want to share with just the two men who’ve marked me—and who’ve welcomed my mark in turn.

I caress the line of Dom’s jaw and then reach to grasp the few coils that have swung free at the sides of Andreas’s face. “I love the party you made for me, but I think I’d like to move on to a different kind of celebration.”

Drey’s voice comes out in a low rasp. “What did you have in mind?”

I draw his face closer to mine and speak so only he and Dominic can hear me. “Take me to my bedroom.”

“Fuck,” Dom mutters, and buries his face in the crook of my neck. The nip of his teeth against the sensitive skin there brings a gasp to my lips.

Andreas’s gaze sears into mine as if he’s searching for any fragment of doubt there. When he doesn’t find it, he pulls me by the hand toward the doorway.

“I think the other guys will figure out the party’s over.”

A momentary twinge passes through me at the thought of Zian—but he didn’t even want to dance with me. He doesn’t owe me anything, but surely I don’t owe him anything either?

And Jacob can go suck rocks.

I’m barely aware of the walk back to my room. My feet might as well be gliding over the carpet, and every inch of skin is thrumming with anticipation.

With the eagerness to immerse myself in the men I’ve branded as my own.

We duck into my bedroom, and I slip off my shoes instinctively at the edge of the bed. Then doubt coils around me.

What am I doing? I was already out of my depth hooking up with just one guy.