Page 159 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

The current head of the guardians is willing to torture us to bend us to his will. Why should we give a shit about his well-being?

“Whatever you figure out, let me know as much as you can,” I tell him, my nerves thrumming with the possibility of a new plan within reach.

“I’ll do my best. He seems to still trust me, but he’s being even more cautious with the rest of you.

” Griffin brushes a tentative kiss to my forehead that lights up my nerves in a totally different way and then eases back.

“We should probably do a little shooting so he doesn’t wonder why we’d have skipped that part completely. ”

I cock my head. “A chance for me to let out my aggression before you start your supposed seduction.”

Griffin chuckles, but his cheeks flush at the same time. “Something like that.”

Farther into the cave, I pick a pistol off the rack somewhat at random, set a pair of earmuffs in place, and let out a few rounds at one of the targets. Griffin takes a more measured approach, selecting his gun with care and then firing each shot with a moment of contemplation in between.

Even so, my bullseyes end up tattered while his shots dapple the two inner rings more haphazardly.

His mouth twists as he studies the result. “Blasting things apart was never something I took to naturally.”

“We all have our own talents,” I say, with a fond smile to show I think that’s a good thing.

He reloads his gun and then gazes down at it. “Do you want to keep going?”

I consider my new target and wrinkle my nose. “I think I’ve worked through all my urge to shoot things. You’re definitely safe now.”

Griffin laughs. “Then maybe we could talk a little more? If there’s anything else you’d want to ask me to feel better about how things went down, you can go ahead.”

I recognize his phrasing as being for the benefit of any guardians listening in. “Yeah. I’m ready to hear you out.”

We set aside our guns and earmuffs before meandering back to the waterfall. Griffin turns to me, setting one hand on my waist with his thumb stroking up over the bare skin beneath my tee.

“I— Can I just hold you for a bit?” he murmurs. “I never feel as much like myself as when we’re touching.”

Affection swells inside me so abruptly I lose my breath. “Yeah, of course.”

He lowers his head next to mine again until we’re cheek to cheek, sliding his arm around me so his whole forearm rests against my lower back where my tee has ridden up. His other hand traces along my arm to align them side by side, his fingers loosely cupping my elbow.

His warmth wraps around me, and every inch of my skin tingles with his closeness.

A breath shudders out of him as if he’s found some peace in me that he’s been missing for ages. He hugs me a little tighter.

“I missed you so much. All that time before… I didn’t even know how much I did because I couldn’t feel it—but it was all there underneath, and now all that pent-up loss is hitting me.”

Tears well behind my eyes. “I missed you too. Every single day.”

“I want to be everything I should have been before. I want to give you what you really needed. I don’t know—I don’t know if I’ll ever be totally back to normal, but I’m going to try.”

I choke up at the rawness of his voice. “I know you are. You’ve already done a lot. We’ve all made mistakes.”

We’ve all had to do things we’d rather not have done in the fight for our freedom. I can’t blame Griffin for the life he meant to take without condemning the rest of us dozens of times over.

Griffin’s fingertips trace a gentle circle on my back. “My moonbeam, lighting the way for me.”

Suddenly the tears that welled up before are flooding my eyes. I blink hard and turn my head to seek out Griffin’s mouth.

Our lips collide with a rush of heated breath. He kisses me tenderly at first and then harder, as if he’s pouring himself into the embrace.

As if he’s offering himself up to me in every way he can, showing me I’ve got all of him.

Desire flares low in my belly. I wrap my arms around him, and he nudges us backward with a stifled groan.

My shoulders press against the rock wall of the hall. The need blazing through me sears away the brief chill of the damp surface.

I force myself to pull back a few inches, to gaze up into Griffin’s face. He stares down at me with a wildness in his expression that I’ve never seen before, here or in the past.

The storm of adoration and hunger in his brilliant eyes unravels me. I’m bringing him back to his old self with every touch, every embrace.

Every brush of skin against skin.

I want more. I want to see every bit of the boy I lost surfacing through the frightening emptiness of the guardians’ torture.

My hand rises to his cheek. My voice comes out in a whisper. “How much would you like to feel right now?”

Griffin wets his lips, the intensity in his gaze only deepening. “Everything I can.”

I reach for the hem of his shirt and tug. Griffin lifts his arms to help me peel it off him, peering at me avidly.

When I reach for my own tee, his chest hitches. “Riva…”

“We won’t give him what he’s looking for,” I say, tipping my head toward one of the bands that circle his upper arms. “There’s so much else we can do.”

For a second, Griffin’s expression shifts with a trace of what might be fear. I hesitate, knowing the awakening of his emotions has come with a heap of pain.

Then he sets his hands over mine, and we strip off my shirt together.

Griffin lets out a low sound from deep in his throat and bows his head to kiss my shoulder. I slip one arm around his leanly muscled back and tangle my fingers in his rumpled hair.

Everywhere our chests touch, bliss sparks. The dark essence twined through my body roars louder than the waterfall.

This man is meant for me, and I am meant for him. Just as much as the others.

Maybe it makes sense that I lost him first and found him last.

I yank Griffin’s mouth back to mine. He trails his fingers along my spine and around my waist.

They pause at the band of my sports bra. I nip his lower lip between my teeth, reveling in his stuttered breath, and yank that off too so I’m completely bare from the waist up.

Griffin traces the soft ridges of my abdomen up to the curves of my breasts. He curls his fingers around the slopes carefully.

I’ve never seen anything as miraculous as the interplay of tender devotion and scorching lust etched across his features.

“I don’t—I don’t know exactly what I’m doing,” he admits haltingly. “I’ve never—I imagined, before, but that’s all. But I can feel what makes you feel good.”

It hadn’t occurred to me that he’d have even less idea about sex than the other guys. Of course the guardians wouldn’t have exposed him to provocative videos and encouraged that kind of release while they were attempting to erase every emotion from him.

They didn’t have to worry about giving him an outlet for his urges because they were stealing his entire capacity for desire.

“Your approach seems to be working just fine,” I reassure him. “We’ve all been figuring it out as we go.”

Something inside us calls to each other—directs our desire toward completion. I can already tell that the hardest part won’t be enjoying this interlude but avoiding giving in to the hunger to fully consummate our connection.

Griffin kisses me again, teasing our mouths against each other until he finds just the right angle to press harder. When I whimper against his lips, he starts caressing my breasts.

He tests every bit of that terrain with his palms, his fingers, his thumbs. Stroking softer and harder, back and forth and in quickening circles.

When he catches one nipple between two of his fingers with a swift squeeze, the moan that tumbles from my lips is echoed by his matching groan. He repeats the gesture, kissing me harder as if drinking down the pleasure he’s conjuring in my body.

My hips rock toward him of their own accord. Griffin drops one hand to trace the curve of my hip.

His voice comes out in a ragged murmur. “You need more. But we can’t?—”

He cuts himself off as if coming to a decision on his own—and hefts me against him braced between his body and the passage wall.

The rough stone digs into my back, probably leaving a dimpled impression, but I can’t find it in me to care when I’m melded this tightly with the man I’ve loved for so long.

As my legs splay around him, our groins locking together through our clothes, a different sort of need grips me.

I kiss him again and hold my face close to his. “I love you.”

The second the words come out, I feel abruptly sheepish. “But you already know that, don’t you? You always knew.”

Griffin nuzzles the side of my face, his breath washing over me in its own caress. “This is the first time I’ve gotten to hear you say it out loud. I—I love you too. I don’t think I even know how much yet. The feeling just keeps growing.”

I close my eyes against a renewed rush of tears, bittersweet. The joy of being back with him; the pain of knowing how trapped we still are.

The darkness inside spurs me on, desperate for the merging I’m going to refuse it. I grind against the erection straining at Griffin’s pants, and he muffles a groan in my hair.

We can’t have that ultimate fusion yet. I’m not sure either of us is quite ready for it anyway, regardless of what ideas our bodies might have.

But we can still claim a different kind of satisfaction.

My fingertips skate across Griffin’s back. He works over one breast with an increasingly confident hand as he keeps me balanced with the other.

We buck against each other through frantic kisses. The friction against my pussy floods me with waves of giddy heat.

And Griffin can sense every swell of delight. He adjusts his angle by increments, finding just the spot to send me spiraling higher.

Oh, God, to actually fuck this man?—

I bury that thought under the rising whirlwind of bliss. We rut and groan and devour each other, my heart drumming out a desperate rhythm.

My essence screams out for him—and my release crashes over me. I quake in Griffin’s embrace, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Griffin lets out a growl low in his throat, his hips still bucking. Then his shoulders stiffen.

A final groan reverberates from his lungs. He clutches me to him, mumbling a litany of devotion by my ear.

“Riva. Love you. Love you. Moonbeam.”

We stay clasped together for a few minutes, simply breathing in tandem. I don’t want to let him go.

But Griffin draws back with an embarrassed glance at the wet splotch that’s formed on his pants. “Well, that’s… a bit of a mess.”

His uncertainty only intensifies the love humming through my chest. I smile up at him. “Good thing we have this handy river to wash off in, huh?”

His gaze catches mine. He leans in again to bring our foreheads together.

“It is good. It’s all good. Everything you give me.”

My throat tightens, but there’s a glow of hope in my chest that wasn’t there before.