Page 115 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

“The beasts you brought them to must have felt it best to eliminate the threat the shadowbloods represented as quickly as possible.” Clancy tucks the phone away, his tone now grim. “I’d imagine they only left you alive as long as they did in the hopes you’d help them eliminate more of your kind.”

My stomach roils. No. That doesn’t make sense.

I can’t imagine Pearl, the bubbly, curious succubus, planning a slaughter. And Rollick, the demon who was overseeing our mission—he proved over and over that he was on our side.

Could that really have all been an act?

It doesn’t need to have been, does it? Other shadowkind working under Rollick tried to kill us in spite of his protection before.

Maybe they were less scared of our younger counterparts—maybe they jumped in and murdered the kids before he realized they were rebelling against his orders.

We gave those kids freedom—for what? A few minutes? And then…

Guilt congeals in my gut. I grapple with the nausea churning inside me.

“That doesn’t mean you were right,” I say roughly. “The things you put us through, everything you forced us to do…”

All the anguish I’ve witnessed on my guys’ faces and heard in their voices as they talked about the four years we were apart, even worse than the time before.

The four years when I was stuck fighting for my life every week and in shackles every other hour of the day, because the guardians sold me off.

At least the shadowkind didn’t torture the kids.

“I haven’t had much control over your training,” Clancy says. “It took time before I really had a voice, and more time for everyone involved to listen. I don’t agree with everything you’ve endured. But it’s toughened you to withstand the worst the villains out there can throw at you.”

I scowl at the training equipment below. “And what are we doing here? More toughening up?”

Clancy’s voice softens. “I don’t think training needs to be torturous.

You’ve already had enough of that. The five of you are more than prepared to go out into the field already.

We’d only go through exercises designed to confirm you have specific skills needed for a given mission—and that you’re committed to seeing it through.

As well as some exercises for increasing your control over your powers. ”

My gaze jerks to him with a jolt of surprise. The whole reason we turned to the shadowkind to begin with was for help harnessing our supernatural abilities.

“You know how to help us control them? Better than we learned before?”

“Your past keepers were mainly concerned with provoking as much ability out of you as possible, not reining it in. My colleagues who’ve supported my cause and I have developed some strategies that appear to help with focus and moderation.”

So I could make sure I only let out my scream when it was deserved? Modulate it to decide how much to hurt, whether to kill?

The guys have been struggling with the wilder side of their abilities too. We’ve all been longing for this.

Clancy studies me. “It wouldn’t take very long before you could start making a difference—a real one, for the people who need it most.”

I don’t like the lump that’s risen in my throat. But the photos he showed me mean I have even more to make up for than I knew before.

If I can believe anything he says.

I cross my arms. “You said there were three founding families. I guess Ursula Engel was part of one of those, and she got pushed out. Did you manage to convince… your parents? And whoever the other founders are to go along with all this?”

Clancy’s mouth slants at an uncomfortable angle. “My parents passed away in the last few years, and their other co-founder stepped away during their illnesses with his own concerns. It’s become clear he won’t be returning. The direction of the Guardianship rests solely in my hands now.”

I can’t claim his idea sounds like a totally horrible direction, at least not if he’s telling the truth. That doesn’t mean I’m going to leap to sign up.

“And if we don’t commit to your missions?”

He offers a slight shrug. “Then you’ll be confined to your room and contribute with the tests we’ll run on you, physically and mentally. I’d imagine getting out into the world and taking matters into your own hands will be more satisfying, but the choice is up to you.”

Do things his way or go back to being a total prisoner. Such fantastic options.

I hold in my snark, my hand rising instinctively to my necklace. My fingers tug out the cat-and-yarn shape and curl around it.

The feel of it against my skin makes me glance toward the other man standing on the ledge with me—the one who gave this necklace to me years ago.

Griffin hasn’t said a word since we came out. He stands there under the warm sunlight, his stance easy but his expression just as blank as it’s been since I first saw him.

What would it take to get a real reaction from him?

I raise the pendant so the light flashes off it. “I’ve held on to your necklace all this time. It helped me get through a lot.”

There’s no real joy in his smile. “I’m glad it served you that well.”

I can’t help reaching toward him with my other hand. Maybe it’s an echo of the moment he referenced when he offered me that quick squeeze of reassurance.

My fingers brush his, and a spark quivers across my skin and into my veins. My pulse hiccups.

Whatever the guardians have done to him, I’m still just as attuned to him as I am the other guys.

Griffin swivels toward me, moving his hand out of reach with the same motion. He considers me like I’m an interesting piece of art hanging in a gallery rather than one of his closest friends.

Still, I can’t hold back the question. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

Griffin inclines his head. “I think we should help. We can, and there aren’t many people who could—not as much, not on the same level. I want to know I’ve done something good with my life. We haven’t really had the chance before.”

No, we haven’t. But it’s hard to feel totally convinced when Griffin delivers his answer in that vacant voice.

Clancy motions me back toward the hallway. “Let me show you your actual room here, and you can take some time making your decision. But I hope it won’t be a difficult one.”