Page 250 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

There’s a momentary silence, and then Ajax’s inner voice trickles into my head.

Keith was pretty quiet, kind of hesitant to try anything unless the guardians pushed him.

Bethany always seemed a little angry even back then, like she figured she was going to get good at things to spite them or something.

So that eventually she could turn the skills against them.

That makes a kind of sense. Their original personalities came into play, interacting with the crap Balthazar inflicted on them.

From what I’ve seen, the kids who were both easygoing and didn’t have particularly destructive talents even when amplified were the only ones who didn’t go batshit with his enhanced procedures. Maybe people who tended toward anger had their mental wiring screwed up the most.

So much that even a total wipe of the system couldn’t correct it?

I don’t want to believe it, but if this girl came out of the gate swinging that hard, it’s difficult to imagine how we’ll ever talk her down.

I restrain a shudder. “We’ll… We’ll figure out what to do about her next.” Then I turn to Griffin. “I should go fill Riva in. Why don’t you check on Keith and see if he needs any additional chilling out?”

“Good idea.” Griffin gives me a sympathetic smile and a quick squeeze of my arm as we head out of the room. Of course—he can sense my inner turmoil as well as he could the emotions of our wayward shadowbloods.

I watch him disappear past the other door before taking stock of myself. My nerves are still on the fritz, my heart beating a little faster than usual. I’ve definitely stretched my abilities.

My friends don’t need me only for my skills with memory. I’ll have to make them invisible for the ambush in the facility too.

It’d be good to test whether I have the capacity to tap into that talent even right after I’ve erased a couple of minds.

And the fact that I’d really rather not talk to anyone else about my theoretical success—and failure—before I reach Riva might be a small incentive as well.

I glance up and down the elegant hotel hallway with its amber light, confirming that I’m alone. With a slow inhalation, I will my body to vanish from view.

When I look down at my hands again, all I see is the mauve-and-gold carpet. Satisfied, I set off toward the elevators. It’s only one floor up to the penthouse suite, but the fewer doors I have to open manually, the less chance anyone will notice my presence.

The elevator opens to the vestibule outside the penthouse door just as Jacob and Zian come ambling out. “I’d rather get Greek,” Zian is saying.

Jake raises his hands in a gesture of mock defeat. “Let’s just see what’s near the hotel. We don’t want to roam around half the city.”

They’re off to pick up some dinner, apparently. I sidestep my friends and manage to slip into the penthouse just before the door closes behind them.

The living room on the other side appears empty, but I have no idea how many shadowkind might be hanging around in their noncorporeal forms. The door to the bedroom Riva has been using is closed, but I’ll just have to hope that any being who notices my passing by doesn’t freak out about it randomly opening.

I turn the knob carefully and ease inside. Riva is lying on top of the covers with her back to me, her head cradled by her arm. I’d have thought she was sleeping if it wasn’t for the air of tension around her pose.

She wanted to come with me, to witness for herself how our experiment turned out, but she was worried about the effect seeing her might have on the shadowbloods.

“I know technically they won’t be able to remember me,” she said.

“But it seemed like they associated me with everything they were angry about more than the rest of you. I’d rather not take the chance that there’s any lingering unconscious resentment. ”

I stand for a moment next to the bed, balking at the thought of bringing myself back into sight. Of having to tell her that my skills can’t conquer every horrible thing Balthazar did.

We’ve had so many disappointments in the past few weeks. I just want her to feel something good.

And maybe I need that too.

Gingerly, I lay myself down on the bed behind her. Riva starts to roll over, and I catch her with my hand on my waist.

“Just stay there a moment,” I murmur by her ear.

She doesn’t just follow my instructions—she relaxes against me at the sound of my voice. Because she trusts me that much.

So much affection swells in my chest that for a few seconds, I can’t move. Then I trail my invisible fingers over her cheek and down her neck, as if she’s being caressed by a ghost.

Her crisply sweet scent fills my nose. I tuck my head against hers, breathing it in through her braided hair.

When I reach her chest, Riva lets out a soft noise of encouragement. I tease my fingertips over the slope of her breast and down to the hem of her shirt.

It’s easy to slide my hand under the fabric to touch her warm skin beneath. I stroke my fingers back and forth across her belly, working my way up to the band of her bra.

There’s a little thrill in knowing that even if someone walked in on us now, they’d have no idea what I’m doing for her. All they’d see is Riva lying here and a slight rumpling of her clothing.

I circle my thumb over her nipple through the thin cup of her bra, my pulse kicking up a notch as I feel it pebble with the pressure. A little growl escapes Riva’s throat.

She rolls toward me, and this time I don’t stop her. Her hand comes to rest on my shoulder, my invisibility making her fingers look as if they’re hovering in mid-air.

She drums her fingers against my skin through my sweater. “Come back. I like it better when I can see you.”

I nuzzle her cheek. “But isn’t this fun?”

Her hand rises to trace the line of my jaw, her eyes managing to find mine even though she’s looking right through them. “Sure. But it’s even more fun when you’re completely here with me. And I know—you shouldn’t strain your abilities just for this.”

The last thing I want is for her to feel guilty.

I draw myself back into visibility with a faint prickling over my skin and offer her a wry smile.

“After the next few days, it won’t matter that much if I disappear anyway.

Who needs the guy who’s all about holding on to the past when it’s time to carve out a new future? ”

I meant the comment to be a joke, but I can hear it land flat even before Riva’s face falls. She twines her fingers into the tight curls of my hair and tugs me a little closer so the tip of her nose grazes mine.

“Don’t you ever say that,” she says fiercely. “Don’t you ever even think that we don’t need you.”

I choke up and have to grope for my voice to reply. “I was kidding. I’m not going anywhere.”

But maybe there was a little part of me preparing that I might have to stretch my abilities that far—too far to come back from.

Riva scoots closer, aligning her smaller body against mine as if she needs my heat like she does air.

“Drey—when everything was screwed up and none of you knew what to believe, you were the first one to see who I really was. The first who decided to trust me over the guardians. That’s who you are.

If you remember anything, I want it to be that. ”

I wrap my arm around her and hug her to me. She’s right, isn’t she?

If it hadn’t been for me—if I hadn’t been there—who knows how bad that disaster would have gotten? Whether any of us would have made it this far?

“I just… I wish I could help by giving them something instead of taking it away.”

Riva’s breath tickles across my skin with her voice. “Maybe you can. Maybe you can show them the good memories the rest of us had that they were a part of, once we know they’re ready.” She brushes her thumb across my cheek. “Are you going to tell me how it went?”

I can’t really avoid it any longer. I hold on to the woman I love and steady myself for the story I have to tell her tonight. “There’s some good and some bad…”

And even as the words come out, I can’t help thinking, isn’t every part of life like that? We make the best of what we can, just like everyone else in this messy but incredible world.