Page 226 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

Ten

Andreas

T he room looks as if it’s empty. You’d assume it is… as long as you don’t try to walk too far into it, anyway.

I’ve turned every piece of furniture, every decoration and knickknack, in the guest bedroom totally invisible. But I can still stub my toe on the base of the dresser, like I did just a second ago.

I fumble my way over to the invisible bed and sink my also-invisible body down onto the covers. After a brief rub, the sting radiating through my big toe fades.

There’s no particular reason that the contents of my room need to be hidden from the eye right now. I’m just doing my best to recreate the conditions I might face when we go into battle—when I might have to hide a bunch of the people around me, like I did when we invaded Balthazar’s mountain base.

Inanimate objects don’t take quite the same surge of energy that living beings do. To get the same effect, I don’t have to wear myself out as much. So I poured way more of my power into each of the room’s furnishings than I did into my friends yesterday.

It was either that or try to vanish the entire mansion, and I don’t think anyone else living here would appreciate the latter.

I need to push myself farther than I did yesterday. Farther than I’ve dared with my fellow shadowbloods in all the time since I discovered I could use my talent for invisibility beyond my own body.

Maybe if I’d given my efforts yesterday my all instead of holding back just a little, Balthazar’s gambit with his ear-splitting device wouldn’t have shaken us out of concealment.

Maybe we’d have stayed invisible to chase after him in the tunnels, and the younger shadowbloods wouldn’t have been able to confront us.

I swallow thickly and flex my fingers against the rumples of the blanket beneath me, checking for any unusual sensations.

Unfortunately, the other maybes involved could have dire consequences in the opposite direction. Which is why I’m conducting this experiment only on myself, not on any of the people who matter so much to me.

Our former captor seems determined to wreak havoc through the entire world. The next time we go up against him, we might not all survive.

But I’ll be damned if I lose anyone because I fucked up.

The experiment is awfully boring, though. I should have set my phone to a playlist of podcasts before I concealed it along with everything else.

I can’t see the screen now to select anything on it. Can’t see the TV mounted on the wall. The view beyond the window remains, since I didn’t mess with the walls themselves, but all I’ve got there is the incredibly dull “Palm trees casting shadows on the lawn” show.

I don’t even know exactly how long I’ve been running the experiment for, although I did have the foresight to set my phone to sound an alert every hour. The first one went off what might have been twenty minutes or forty ago, for all I can tell.

So far, I feel fine. That’s a good sign. I’ve never held myself invisible for this long before.

Of course, we already knew that the procedures Balthazar had Matteo carry out on us expanded our abilities. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a limit, only that it’s farther out than I’m used to.

I catch myself starting to worry at my lip and push to my feet. I’ve got to do something to distract myself.

Why not practice my stealth skills while I’m in see-through mode? I don’t really like the idea of spying on anyone in Rollick’s home, but it’d be good practice to simply move through the house quickly and quietly, making sure I don’t disturb anyone I pass.

I go through the motions of pretending I’m on an actual mission with enemies around every corner. My hand stays braced on the doorknob until I’m sure there’s no sound in the hall outside. Then I slip out as deftly and swiftly as possible.

Riva’s outside, somewhere not far to the north of the house. I can sense her presence distinctly, like I have ever since we first slept together and our matching marks bound our essence together.

My friends, I only have a vaguer impression of—a faint tickle of energy that comes from their powers. If I concentrate, I can tell who’s who based on what those powers are and what direction they’re in, but not how far away.

And I’m pretty sure that awareness only works when they’re not far at all. I’d know how to find Riva no matter where in the world she went, but my awareness of the guys dwindles with distance.

The other beings hanging out around this place, I have no sense of at all.

I slink past the dining room, where a couple of the shadowkind Rollick is particularly friendly with are having a conversation about the steaks one of them apparently fried, and pass Billy plinking away at a piano in the mansion’s music room, but that’s it.

From what I’ve seen, most of the shadowkind prefer sticking to their shadows unless there’s a specific reason they need to take physical form. I kind of wish that wasn’t the case, because if I wanted to spy on anyone, it’d be the less friendly allies whose allegiances to us are shakier.

But if they’re having conversations about how far to follow us into this war, it’s someplace as invisible to me as I am to them—and inaudible as well.

I’m just coming up on the front foyer with its massive looming skylight when the first creeping of discomfort ripples over my skin.

The unnerving sensation squirms through my nerves from my fingertips to my elbows. I jerk to a halt with a hitch of breath.

When I splay and clench my hands, the feeling eases. My heart keeps thumping on at its sped-up pace.

Should I pull myself out now? If that sign is anything like before, it’s only the start.

I don’t know if it’ll be like before, though. Maybe there won’t be any progression, only that mild irritation.

That’s why I’m experimenting, isn’t it? To find my limits.

To figure out exactly how far I can go with my abilities before I doom myself… and anyone I’ve worked them on.

I take a few slow breaths to steady my nerves and think back through the many memories I’ve viewed in people’s heads over the years to the avid surfer who chased thrills around the world.

His vivid recollections of riding the waves, water roaring beneath him and wind flicking cool spray across his face, were exhilarating, but my favorite moment was a snippet of a conversation I came across.

Don’t you ever get scared? one of his friends asked him, and he simply laughed.

As long as I’ve got my board under my feet or my hand, I know I’m okay , he said. I’ll get through it.

I’m still here. I’ve got the floor beneath me and the walls around me, all perfectly tangible. While I have that, I should be able to pull out of my invisibility and be all right, even if it’s hard.

I don’t actually know if that’s true, but focusing on the thought settles my nerves. I walk on out of the house.

It’s harder to stay completely unnoticeable in the outdoors. My body hasn’t lost its gravity; my feet press indents into the grass and the gritty soil.

No one’s close enough to see those signs of my passing right now, but in a real mission, it could be a problem.

The best solution that offers itself is to stick to solid materials. I leap across some decorative tiles set in one span of the lawn and teeter along the edge of a broad wooden planter filled with drooping flowers.

The minor acrobatics take my mind off my worries until another prickling ripple washes over my skin.

This one wriggles up from my feet as well as along my arms, converging on my chest. My balance wobbles, and I stumble off the planter.

The soft thud of my feet on the grass brings other footsteps from around the side of the house. Toni comes into view and frowns at the apparently vacant garden before her. “Is someone there?”

The prickles are racing right between my ribs now, making my breath catch. Fear spikes alongside the physical distress.

Is my balance still wobbling—my sense of the ground itself wavering?

I jerk myself back toward visibility with a shove of my power. My body reforms, the sunlight glancing off my face and bringing out the vibrant red of my shirt.

And then I seem to dissolve. For a second, the breeze passes right through my chest.

My hands clutch at the air as if I’ll find something to hold on to there. My thoughts whirl. When I glance down at myself, my arms look hazy, the grass showing through them.

My feet. Where are my feet? I can’t even feel them—it’s like my legs end at my knees, and?—

“Hey!”

A hand closes around my shoulder. Firm, present, bringing my physical presence back into sharper focus.

My head snaps up. Toni is standing next to me, her eyes wide and her hair windblown as if she ran over.

I’m here. I’m still here.

An eerie tingling sensation keeps jittering through my nerves, like my entire body has fallen asleep and is now writhing with pins and needles. Clenching my jaw, I pull and pull at my sense of myself, dragging every bit of me back into full reality.

By the time I’m totally confident that I’m solid again, sweat is trickling down my back despite the cool winter air. My breath rasps in my throat.

“Fuck,” I mutter, hopelessness knotting my gut. The two-hour alert hadn’t even gone off yet.

I’m not going to be able to give the others much more of an advantage—not without risking their entire existence.

The hand drops from my shoulder, and I’m abruptly aware of Toni still standing there next to me. “Are you all right?”

I manage to aim a tight smile at her. “Yeah. Now. Sorry if I startled you—and thank you.”

Toni blinks at me as if she’s still having trouble seeing me. “What happened there?”

I shrug. “What’s always happened if I try to hold on to the invisibility for too long. I wasn’t sure… I haven’t let myself give it my all since the procedures and everything.”

Toni gives me a grimace that feels almost like a disapproving teacher, as much as I have any idea what that feels like. “You shouldn’t take it that far. It doesn’t help anyone if you can’t come back. Are you totally okay now? Should I get Rollick or your friends or?—?”

I wave off her concerned questions. “It’s over. I’m good now.” Other than the sense of failure and the pit of existential dread that’s reappeared in the bottom of my stomach.

My smile loosens and turns crooked at the same time. “I’m just trying to figure out how I can help as much as possible. I’m not much good for forcing open locks or cutting down super villains.”

Something shifts in Toni’s expression. Her mouth tenses, almost as if she’s upset, but her voice comes out softer. “I know a little something about being most valued when you’re unseen. But I also know you can erase yourself too much and regret it.”

A lump rises in my throat. I hadn’t expected to find myself sympathizing with Balthazar’s star employee, but there’s no denying how much she means those words.

I don’t think I’d ever want to take another peek inside her head to find out how much she forced herself to tolerate over the years.

Toni eases back a step as if she suspects I’d prefer more space. Then her head cocks. “The invisibility isn’t your only power. Your main focus is memory, isn’t it?”

I swipe my hand over my face as if to reassure myself that all of my features are still there. “Yeah. But it isn’t much help in tackling psychopaths. I can distract people by projecting memories, but that doesn’t get us very far.”

“And you can erase memories as well.” Toni’s gaze turns pensive. “If you could do that to Balthazar—simply wipe out all the experiences that made him want to carry out his crusade against the shadowkind?—”

I let out a shaky chuckle. “I wish it could be that easy. I’d have to be near him to wipe his mind, and completely blanking a person takes some time.

If we want to be sure of stopping him, we’re better off getting any of the other shadowbloods in there—except Griffin, I guess.

Riva, Jacob, Zian, and maybe even Dom could end him in a second or two. ”

I say the words without thinking and then pause, remembering that even if she’s thrown her lot in with us, this woman was dedicated for more than a decade to the man I’m talking so casually about killing.

“Unless you’re hoping we can end this without him dead,” I add. “I didn’t mean—after everything he put us through and everything he’s doing now, that’s where my mind automatically goes.”

Toni nods without an indication of offense taken.

“I can understand that. With everything I’ve seen, I can’t say you’re wrong to think that way either.

Consider my suggestion just some brainstorming.

With all his plans and resources, who knows what tricks we might need to turn to if we’re going to stop him? ”

I laugh with a little actual humor this time. “Fair point. If it comes down to me and I get the chance, I’ll definitely give him a case of amnesia. That just doesn’t seem like a great opening gambit.”

We drift back toward the house, silence falling between us. There isn’t a whole lot to say to each other after that.

Or possibly there is, because a few steps from the door, Toni glances over at me. “I’m sorry. For—for every way I contributed to what he did to you. I shouldn’t have let myself become just a tool for him, putting aside all my own opinions.”

The apology means more than I’d have expected after she’s already said as much to us as a group. I dip my head to her in acknowledgment. “He did a number on you too. At least you found your way back.”

The corner of her mouth curves upward in a sad-looking smile. “Do your best to make sure you always do too, all right?”

I don’t answer her, even though I’m touched by her concern. Because the truth is, as terrified as my experience in the garden makes me, I wouldn’t let that terror get in my way.

I’d never risk another person’s life with my talent, but if keeping myself concealed for a few more minutes made the difference between saving my friends and the woman I love or not? I’d accept my doom in an instant.

I can’t even say whether I’m more worried that it’ll come to that… or that I’ll never get the chance to make that much of a difference.