Page 202 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

“You think you’re going to take over the entire world,” I say, a little roughly. “You’re—what—building political influence, corporate leverage…?”

I don’t even know the right words for all of it. The idea is batshit crazy.

And there’s a speck of icy fear starting to expand in my gut that tells me I’m not convinced he’s incapable of pulling it off.

While using us to do so.

Would even the might of all the world’s major governments and armies be enough to wipe out the shadowkind from the mortal world? It’s not as if mortal weapons have much impact on them.

I suppose if Balthazar was able to sway entire military forces into using the materials that do weaken or even kill the “monsters,” if he focused every country’s resources on that goal?—

What would happen to every other part of society then? How many people’s lives will he wreck chasing his maniacal goal?

No wonder he doesn’t mind telling me. Who the hell would believe anyone would even attempt this kind of global domination if I could manage to warn them?

They’ll think it’s crazy too. And they won’t know Balthazar to realize that his brand of insanity is disturbingly effective.

Balthazar hasn’t said anything, just watched me take it all in.

I lift my gaze to meet his again. “Why does it matter to you so much? What have the ‘monsters’ done that’s so much worse than all the crap humans are constantly doing to each other?”

If I hadn’t already been aware of some of the totally human atrocities from the books and movies we had access to in the facility, my time carrying out Clancy’s assignments would have filled in the blanks amply.

Balthazar’s expression hardens so abruptly that my pulse jumps as if he’s aimed a gun at me. “They don’t care. They can’t be bargained or reasoned with. All they know are their sick, monstrous cravings, and they’ll destroy the most beautiful things to get their way.”

I decide it’s better not to mention that his words could describe various human beings I’ve been subjected to—including the man who just said them.

He leans toward the screen, making my skin creep with the intensity of his gaze. “You can sense it, can’t you? That this is what you were meant for.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “What Engel made me for, you mean? Even she didn’t think she’d done a good job of it after all.”

“She gave up too easily,” Balthazar snarls, and then seems to gather himself. His voice smooths out. “You’ve discovered some things about my family.”

I open my mouth and close it again, confused by the abrupt shift in the conversation. Well, he’ll have already heard me confronting Toni about the things I saw or guessed.

“You had a wife and a son,” I say. “But they both died.” Oh. “They were killed by ‘monsters’?”

Would that have been enough to set him on this megalomaniac journey? I guess if he’d already been unhinged and it just nudged him over the final edge…

Balthazar is nodding grimly, but there’s something too avid in his face that contrasts with his supposed grief. “They’re gone, because of so much brutality and incompetence. But I still have— You’ve looked at the pictures. You must have suspected at least a little.”

I resist the urge to hug myself. “Suspected what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Engel needed genetic material for her work. The human elements to mingle with the monstrous aspects. She guarded her work closely, but we founders all had access to every part of the facilities.”

The prickling cold spreads through my abdomen. The words catch in my throat before I can force them out. “What are you saying?”

That small, soft smile plays across Balthazar’s lips again.

“When my son was born, they told Willa that she wouldn’t be able to have another child.

She always wanted a daughter. So I did what I could to give her one, one I thought she’d eventually be able to meet.

If they hadn’t— But you’re still here. You’re here where you belong now. You can take your place in the family.”

A strained noise reaches my ears from where Toni is standing near the door, but I’m too frozen in shock to look over my shoulder and check her reaction.

My limbs have gone rigid, locked in place. I feel like I’m choking and drowning all at once.

Balthazar goes on as if he hasn’t registered my horror at his announcement. “You’re my daughter as well as hers, no matter what else went into your creation. You can stand beside me. We’ll work together and set things right. Don’t you see it?”

My stomach lurches. I would puke my response if I had anything in my stomach to vomit.

I can’t see it. My brain wants to reject the very possibility that any part of me is tied to this psychotic man.

There’s nothing I can see that would disprove it either, though. My complexion is similar to his and his wife’s. I’m not built anything like his substantial frame, but she looked pretty petite and delicate in the photos I’ve seen of her.

I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, but the shape of her face was like mine, wasn’t it? Rounded cheeks and a pointed chin.

And my eyes… Staring back into Balthazar’s, I can’t help noticing that his bright brown irises are only a shade or two darker than mine.

“No,” I sputter. Somehow I’m on my feet, though I still don’t feel like I’m fully in control of my legs. “If the way you treat family is the way you’ve treated me, then I don’t want anything to do with it. I’m not your anything.”

His piercing eyes narrow. My hands clench into fists, and a shriek scrabbles in the base of my throat, wishing he was actually in front of me so I could unleash it on him.

“You’re not thinking clearly,” Balthazar says with a cold edge. “You’re simply startled. You were made for this. Your grandparents fought the monsters, and I have, and you will. This is where you belong.”

A tremor runs through my body. I jab a finger toward the screen. “I’m never going to belong with you!”

Balthazar’s lips pull back from his teeth. And a bolt of pain shoots up both my arms from my wrists—from the manacles.

The burning sensation sears deep in an instant, making my lungs seize up and my knees buckle. I can’t hold back a cry as I slump to the floor.

No blood pours from my wrists, but he’s hurt me some other way, maybe another chemical he never told us about that the manacles hold alongside the sedative. It sears through my nerves until I’m blinking back tears.

“I haven’t been there to educate you,” Balthazar growls. “You’ll learn.”

Then he’s gone, the screen gone black.

The pain fades gradually. After a couple of minutes, I manage to push myself into a sitting position. My head spins.

I don’t even know how to start thinking through what our captor just told me. What he just did to me, in spite of who he claims I am.

Toni is standing on the other side of the chair I sat in, her face tight, her shoulders stiff. “I—I could help you back to your room,” she offers quietly.

I flinch instinctively and shake my head. “No. I’ll get there myself.”

If she wants to gawk, I don’t want her doing it right there beside me.

After a few more careful breaths, I swipe at my eyes and heave myself to my feet. Lingering pricks of pain travel through my nerves, but I manage to walk fairly steadily.

Down the hall. Up the stairs. Into my room. Every step feels like I’m dragging my feet through hardening cement.

I’m Balthazar’s daughter. He made me in his image, for his purposes. How much of his madness is woven right into the essence of who I am?

How the hell can I help the guys I love get out of this horror show when I’m complicit in it down to my DNA?