Page 145 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

“All we can do is go forward from here.” Griffin glances over at me tentatively.

“You’re going to be angry at me for a long time, just like the others, and I don’t resent that.

But I’m doing my best to figure out how to head in a better direction.

And if you feel like you could lean on me for anything, in any way…

I want to be there like I wasn’t all those years. As well as I can.”

I can’t tell how earnest he is when his tone holds only the faintest trace of emotion, but the words make my throat tighten anyway.

Lean on him? I always saw myself as the one he leaned on. When the training pushed us hard, when the guardians wouldn’t let up.

But I know that’s not really accurate. Something about his knowing but compassionate gaze, the ease to his words, could settle the rest of us down no matter what upset us, even when we were little. He kept us centered.

Where has that guy gone?

Before I have to decide how to respond, my brother’s gaze slides forward, to where Riva is just giving the teleporting kid a reassuring pat on the back.

“She loves you so much, you know,” he says. “Every time she looks at you, it’s there, shining like an entire full moon, not just a moonbeam. She wants you to be happy. Whatever you’re worried about when it comes to her, I don’t think you have to be anymore.”

He picks up his pace, leaving me grappling with a tangle of my own emotions.

It isn’t as if Riva hasn’t told me how she feels. I’m not sure I’ve totally believed it, though.

After everything I put her through…

I might not completely believe in Griffin, but hearing him say it so confidently smooths out a few rough edges inside me that I hadn’t even noticed scraping at my heart.

So maybe he hasn’t totally lost his centering gift after all.

When Riva returns to her position at the back, she gives me a curious look. “Are you and Griffin okay?”

I rub my mouth as I debate my answer. “I don’t know. But it’s possible we could get there.”

Our afternoon break stretches a little longer than the morning one. Some of the younger shadowbloods massage their calves and stretch their arms in attempts to relieve the strain.

New hope comes in the form of a strip of thinner underbrush we stumble on maybe an hour after our stop.

Zian steps out into the clearer stretch cautiously, his shoulders flexing as he glances up and down it. The rest of us follow.

I toe the grass-choked ground and make out faint ridges in the packed soil. Bits of gravel rasp against the sole of my sneaker.

“It was a road,” Dominic says, coming to the same conclusion I have a little faster. “Just a small one, like a private lane or something, and obviously not used in a while.”

Andreas peers along it into the distance. “That’s got to mean there are people around somewhere not too far away.”

He turns to Griffin, whose eyes go even more vague as he must tap into his empathic sense. My twin’s mouth slants crookedly.

“Other than our group, I’m not picking up on anyone really close.

I’m still aware of the big population northwest of here.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone closer.

At longer distances, I can only pick up on a whole lot of emotion condensed in the same place, unless it’s someone I already know. ”

Riva cocks her head, her eyes glinting with sudden inspiration. “Can you tell where Clancy is?”

Griffin takes another moment to focus inwardly. “Nowhere near us. Someplace south. I’d need a map to pinpoint him.”

“Nowhere near sounds good enough to me.” I motion toward the section of overgrown road that heads in approximately the same direction we were already headed. “We might as well walk along this route while it’s taking us where we need to go, right? We’ll move faster with fewer obstacles.”

“I’ll watch and listen for any sign that we’re getting close to the locals,” Zian says, his face settling into a mask of concentration.

I’m not surprised that none of the younger shadowbloods argue. Some of them even get more of a spring in their step as we set off along the easier terrain.

I start to doubt my suggestion when the road takes on an upward slope. But unless we wanted to spend an extra day or two walking all the way around the looming hill ahead of us, I guess we’d be stuck scaling it either way.

The sun has sunk below the level of the canopy when Zee lets out a low shout to alert us and stops in his tracks.

“There’s a building up there,” he says, squinting through the trees. “I can see part of a roof.”

We all gather around him. A couple of the kids shift nervously on their feet.

“Any sign of people?” Riva asks.

Zian shakes his head. “I can’t make out a whole lot from here, though.”

Griffin gazes off in the direction Zee indicated. “I think I’d be able to sense if anyone was over there. I’m not picking up any emotional impressions strong enough to be coming from a building that close.”

Andreas steps to the front of our pack. “I’ll take a quick look around incognito.”

He tips his head jauntily and vanishes from view in a blink.

The lanky, blond-haired guy near me—Booker, I think his name is—sucks in a breath of surprise. A startled murmur passes through the younger shadowbloods.

I forgot that most of them aren’t familiar with our powers. I don’t think I’ll be showing off my spines anytime soon.

Zian moves a little farther ahead to keep scanning the area while we wait. Riva pulls a jug of water out of her pack and passes it around, checking on the kids with Dominic flanking her, ready to treat any injury.

Seeing her dote on them sends another quiver through my chest, not as heated as the impact of her smiles but with a soft glow of warmth I’m not used to.

She’s been so worried about her powers, about being someone destructive. A monster. Does she even realize how easily she’s taken on this nurturing role?

She’s a badass, brilliant superhero of a woman, but I bet she’d be a fantastic mother someday too, if that’s something she wants.

Whether I’d be much of a dad…

That idea leaves me unsteady enough that I yank my mind back to the present.

Andreas reappears in the lengthening shadows with a grin.

“It looks like it was some kind of eco hotel. Solar panels on the roof, a cistern that’s set up for catching rainwater.

It’s been abandoned for a while, and the jungle’s crept in on it, but there’s still some power going and the plumbing works. And it’s got actual beds.”

My instinct is to balk at the idea of staying anywhere it looks like people would want to stay, but the relief that crosses several of the kids’ faces keeps my mouth shut.

Dominic is already thinking cautiously for all of us anyway. “How noticeable do you think it’d be from above?” he asks.

Andreas motions to us. “You can all come take a look, but there’s tree cover over a lot of the roof now. The building was only a couple of stories tall anyway. I don’t think we’d want to have the lights on once it really gets dark, but otherwise I doubt it’d stand out.”

We tramp on up the road for a few more minutes before the hotel comes clearly into view.

The trees have grown right up against the tan walls, in some places jutting through windows or broken sections of thatched roof. They block what was once probably a pretty view over the hillside. But they also camouflage the place to a degree that satisfies the worst of my worries.

We slip inside onto the dirt-strewn hardwood floor of what was once the lobby. The boards sigh under our feet.

A vine has crept over the reception desk and around a couple of sagging armchairs. A little monkey chitters at us and darts out through a broken window.

The air flow through the space has kept it from getting musty, though. The faint perfume of jungle flowers laces the breeze that washes through the hallways.

Andreas leads us to the kitchen, which is deep enough inside the building that it’s remained mostly unaffected by the jungle’s imposition. At his twist of a fixture, clear water burbles from a tap.

“The stoves have power,” he says, pointing to a couple of rows of burners. “And there’s a little food left in the pantry that might be edible—rice, dried beans, and lentils that I don’t think would really go bad.”

The tall girl who lit our way through the night lets out a low chuckle. “I could go for a real dinner.”

Riva takes in the space with a contemplative air and gives a short nod. “I think we should spend the night here. Get some real rest before we keep going with the journey. But we’ll need people keeping watch at all times just in case.”

Zian moves closer to her, his expression turning abruptly fierce. “The guardians aren’t getting their hands on us again.”

Riva beams at him, so much affection shining in her eyes that my chest clenches up—even more so at the hesitant but bright smile Zee offers in return. At the momentary lifting of his hand as if he’s thinking of offering her a brief touch, only to jerk his arm back to his side at the last second.

I don’t need Griffin’s talent to know how much he wants her… or how hard it is for him to grapple with that longing. My stomach twists in pained sympathy, and I find myself remembering Griffin’s comments to me in the jungle.

He tried to make it easier for me to embrace everything Riva’s been willing to offer me. To help the two of us understand each other.

If she wants to see me happy, I want the same for her at least as much. For all of my friends, including Zian, who has so much trouble reaching for that happiness himself.

But just telling him how much Riva cares about him wouldn’t be enough. I’m pretty sure he already knows. That isn’t the problem.

I keep part of my attention on Zian as I move to help the others sort through the kitchen equipment, the gears in my head spinning.

Maybe I don’t have to only be the guy who races into a fight and bashes any possible threat. It’s not like those impulses have been helping my friends or the woman I love a whole lot recently anyway.

Maybe I could be as generous as it seemed Griffin meant to be—fill the hole where Zian has faltered.

I just need to figure out how. For both him and her.