Page 199 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

Twenty-Five

Zian

I rub my hand across my mouth as if I can wipe away my nerves and glance at Dominic where he’s standing across from me by the kitchen doorway. “You’re sure that you’re okay with this?”

His gentle smile takes the edge off my nerves—but only the edge. “I’m honored that you want my help. I think taking this step could be good for all of us. And I want to see you and Riva happier.”

We both turn our attention to the far end of the room, where Riva is just finishing washing the dinner dishes. She hands a plate off to Andreas for him to dry, her stance more relaxed than I can remember seeing in ages.

It was just before dinner that Andreas showed all of us his memory of the covert email she sent during their “date” in Florence. He communicated her hopes in a way no one listening in could pick up on.

And then Riva told us, in an even tone but with excitement shimmering in her eyes, that she thinks she’s going to get what she asked for.

I’m not sure what else she’s requested that she expects our captors to assume she’s talking about, but she clearly meant Rollick’s help. She must have seen some sign that the demon is coming to our rescue.

I have no idea how he’s going to manage to get us out of here or when—she didn’t indicate that we should expect him soon. But she’s lit up just a little like she hasn’t been since… since the last time we were free, I guess.

Wouldn’t it be nice if she could feel that way all the time? If all of us could?

I hope Rollick gets his ass over here and puts Balthazar in his place ASAP.

It seems like as good a time as any to approach her with the proposition I’ve been mulling over for days. She’s in good spirits, and I don’t want to leave it long enough that I’ll regret my hesitation.

Who knows what Balthazar might do to us next? Whether Rollick’s plan will get all of us out of here alive?

Dark thoughts, but necessary if I’m going to kick my own ass into gear.

Riva swipes her hands on a towel and heads toward us. I draw myself up a little straighter, like I’m not already more than a foot taller than her tiny frame.

Fuck. Is this going to work at all? Am I an idiot to even?—

I tamp down my worries and manage a smile that’s not too tense. “Hey. Could—could you come with me? I was hoping we could… spend some time together.”

Riva cocks her head with curiosity darting across her face. Something about the way her expression softens when I put myself out there like this always gets my heart thumping twice as fast.

“Of course,” she says. “What did you have in mind?”

“I, ah, I’ll explain in a minute.”

Can she already tell from my awkwardness? The back of my neck burns with embarrassment.

But then, it’s not as if I’ve ever been particularly smooth when it comes to Riva.

When she realizes that Dominic is heading down the hall with us, she reaches for his hand automatically. Seeing the simple gesture sends a pang through me that’s not pleasant at all.

She’d reach for me too if she thought I’d welcome it. If she wasn’t worried that I’d flinch away like I have so many times before.

That’s why I have to do this.

If Riva is surprised that we head upstairs rather than outside or into one of the many common rooms, she doesn’t show it. I lead her right into my bedroom and then stop just past the threshold, abruptly twice as uncertain.

Dominic keeps his head enough to shut the door behind us. Right. Privacy is a good thing.

Even if nothing about this can be totally private when we’ve got these fucking manacles clamped around our wrists.

To hell with Balthazar. He and his stooges don’t matter.

All that really matters is the woman in front of me.

Riva doesn’t look remotely concerned. She lifts a questioning eyebrow at me, her stance untroubled in her fleece pullover and jeans.

Casual clothes, just the stuff left in the villa for us, but she always looks gorgeous to me no matter what she’s wearing. I have the urge to tuck a stray strand of her silvery hair back behind her ear to join her braid.

I swallow thickly and ease a careful step toward her. “I—I’ve been thinking about what you said before. On the island. About… about how maybe we could try to work through my hang-ups.”

Riva blinks. Then she glances from me to the bed and back again, and her eyes widen slightly.

But there’s no horror mingled with her surprise. Her cheeks flush. “You were thinking we’d get started on that now?”

“I feel like I’ve already left the situation the way it is for too long, lost so much time with you…” My throat starts to constrict, and I pause to take a slow breath. “Unless you think it wouldn’t be a good idea to try, for reasons like before.”

Before, when our former captor shoved us together in the hopes of gathering data about the bond we could form if we have sex—like Riva has with three of my friends already.

Riva brushes her fingers over one of her manacles automatically, but she shakes her head. “I haven’t gotten the impression that we need to be worried about those things in our current situation.”

I haven’t either, but the fact that she’s confirmed it relieves me. Balthazar hasn’t shown any interest in our personal connections other than how he can use our loyalty to each other to get his way.

From what Clancy said, our current captor hasn’t been a part of the Guardianship in years. And even if he was still hearing some news about their progress, I think Clancy would have wanted to keep that particular interest of his pretty quiet.

How many of his colleagues would have approved of him acting like some kind of a supernatural pimp?

“Okay,” I say, somehow feeling both exhilarated and even more nervous at the same time. “I figured we could just start and… see how it goes. And, ah, I asked Dominic to be here too, just in case—in case I panic. So he can drain me enough to knock me out before I do anything I’d really regret.”

I tense, half expecting Riva to balk at my precaution. Her lips part, and a gleam comes into her eyes that looks more sad than anything.

It’s Dom she looks at now. “Are you okay with all of this, if you have to step in?”

I should have known she’d ask that. She doesn’t want him pushing himself past his limits either—and there are obviously things about his own powers that he’s not totally comfortable with.

Before I can feel guilty again about asking him at all, Dominic offers her a smile as gentle as the one he gave me. “I’m glad that I can be a part of making this happen for you two.”

His gaze slides back to me. “I’ll intervene if it’s necessary, but I don’t think I’m going to have to. It’s mostly about Zee knowing he has a… a fail-safe, I guess you could call it, so that he can relax more.”

Riva takes that in. Then she aims a grin that’s both shy and sly at me. “Where did you want to start?”

Holy fuck. This is actually happening.

A shudder of apprehension races through my limbs instinctively, but I remind myself that I want this. That I’d never want to hurt Riva.

That what we’ll do here is nothing at all like that day with the woman who tried to seduce me against my will.

And if some idiotic part of my brain decides to lash out as if it is like that, Dominic is here to siphon all the vicious energy out of me.

He can heal me again later. But I wouldn’t care even if I ended up in a coma like he did.

If I try to hurt Riva, I’ll deserve it.

I resist the urge to fidget, feeling totally out of my depth. “I guess the bed would make the most sense?”

Without hesitation, Riva walks over to my bed and clambers onto it. She sits there on the covers, her knees drawn partway to her chest, and waits to see what I’ll do.

I haven’t even touched her yet, and I’m already fighting to keep my legs from shaking. I follow her and ease onto the covers beside her, leaving about a foot of space between us.

Dominic joins us silently, perching on the edge of the mattress near the headboard, his tentacles looped in front of him. Ready but not intruding, our protective witness.

Maybe it should feel weird to have him here for this moment, but my nerves settle a little as soon as he’s in position.

I watched him and the other guys hook up with Riva on my behalf just weeks ago. There was nothing wrong with sharing that moment between us either.

Riva has stayed perfectly still, giving me space to decide how I want to proceed. Making sure I don’t feel pressured.

Gazing at her, my heart swells with so much love it chokes me up.

I raise my hand and bring it gingerly to her cheek. Stroke my thumb over her soft skin, up and down, until the frantic thunder of my pulse ebbs.

Her mouth draws my attention, and the thumping rises again. I refocus my self-control. “I—I’d like to kiss you.”

Riva beams at me. “I’d like that too.”

She turns her shoulders toward me but doesn’t lean forward. Still letting me come to her at my own pace.

I’ve never kissed anyone before, not really. I’m probably going to be horrible at this.

But something about this woman draws me in like a magnet. Even as I tilt toward her, quivers run through my veins as if the smoky essence in my blood is propelling me closer.

My lips brush hers, and heat flares beneath my skin. I can’t help pressing my mouth harder against hers, drinking in all the softness and warmth and the pleased little sound that vibrates from her into me.

My head is spinning, but suddenly this doesn’t feel so difficult. Everything about the situation is different, so different.

It’s Riva. My woman—the woman I love. The only woman I’ve ever wanted.

My fingers trail down to her jaw as I kiss her again. But another tremor ripples through me, my fears still clinging on.

How much farther can I take this? What if there’s a moment when my buried panic switches on and the beast comes out?

If I feel it coming, I’ll retreat. And if I’m not fast enough, that’s why Dom is here.

I can do this. Riva wants me.

And God knows I want her.