Page 13 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

Eight

Riva

I wake up to a brisk knocking on my bedroom door and roll over, rubbing my bleary eyes.

Evening has descended beyond the window, the world now painted in shades of blue and gray. My head feels muggy despite the sleep, but I’m not sure how much of that is natural fatigue and how much it’s the toxin coursing through my veins.

The knocking comes again.

“What?” I say in a thick voice.

It’s Zian who answers, a little gruffly. “Dinner. Come down.”

The guys are letting me eat with them instead of merely bringing up a plate? I have stepped up in prisoner status.

I set that bitterly wry thought aside and pull myself out of bed. There’s a clacking sound as Zian disengages the lock.

Whatever Jacob did to it, he’s left it so the other guys can turn it from the outside too.

When I push the door open, Zian is waiting for me, all six-foot-five of him looming over my much smaller frame. When I slip onto the small landing, there’s only a few feet of space between us.

I used to take comfort in his impressive size, but that was when I knew he’d only use it to protect me.

Not so much now, even if the sight of his massive body still sends a tingle through me that I can’t explain. His expression looks strained, the normally warm peachy undertones to his brown skin dulled.

Because he isn’t happy about how the others are treating me or because he isn’t happy they’re keeping me around at all?

Not the kind of question you can ask and expect a useful answer. I stretch my arms and glance toward the door between the two bedrooms with a twinge in my bladder.

“I need to use the bathroom.”

Zian nods awkwardly and steps to the top of the stairs. “Just be fast.”

The bathroom smells like artificial lemon from whatever the staff used when they cleaned it after the last occupants. I use the toilet and then splash water on my face, peering at myself in the mirror.

I’m not looking so great myself, my pale skin even ashier than usual other than the dark smudges forming beneath my eyes. I pat some water on the wisps of hair that are coming loose from my braid.

My hand rises to the lump of my cat-and-yarn pendant that’s back under my shirt. I run my fingers over it, and a lump fills my throat.

None of this is going the way I pictured. None of this feels good.

But maybe I deserve it, even if not for the reasons the guys think.

I let them down. I was in the lead, clearing the way, and I got caught up in a silly impulse rather than keeping all my attention on making sure we were safe.

Griffin died because of me. I’ve never forgiven myself for that, so why should they?

Which means it doesn’t matter what they think or say. All that matters is that I have to stick to the mission now—and do whatever it takes to keep these four men safe, because even after the hell they’ve been putting me through, I can’t stand the thought of losing another of them.

With a renewed sense of resolve, I leave the bathroom and march stoically down the stairs ahead of Zian.

I don’t like how sluggish my limbs feel, but at least the nausea hasn’t expanded too much yet. When a whiff of greasy cheese and tomato sauce reaches my nose, my stomach gurgles with hunger rather than queasiness. By the time I reach the dining room, my mouth is watering.

The other three guys are already sitting around the table with a couple of pizza boxes popped open in between them.

There are only four chairs, but they’ve pulled over one of the armchairs from the living room, which Andreas has sprawled in with one lanky leg over the arm and his plate balanced on his belly.

He looks perfectly at home with that jaunty pose in his casual Henley and jeans—and as delicious as the damned pizza.

Not that it seems like he’d appreciate my thoughts on the matter at the moment. I tear my gaze away.

Jacob catches my eyes and jerks his hand toward the chair across from him. “Eat. No hunger strikes.”

“I wouldn’t want to starve,” I inform him calmly, and pull off a slice of pepperoni and peppers.

Zian lets out a discontented rumble, looking over the offerings. “No meat lovers?”

Andreas arches his eyebrows teasingly at the bigger guy. “Take what you get, Zee. When was the last time you had the chance to eat any kind of pizza? It’s not like we don’t all know you’d rather be chowing down half a cow anyway.”

Zian scowls at him without any real hostility. His love of every sort of meat—and knack for inhaling vast quantities of it—has been legendary among us since we were kids.

A trace of a smile touches my lips. At least a few things haven’t changed.

I haven’t eaten fresh pizza since one of my last missions years ago. Occasionally, my meals in the arena building included a slice or two, but always cold and a little stale, like they were leftovers from someone else’s dinner a couple of nights before.

The first bite of this slice fills my mouth with the perfect blend of tart tomato, salty cheese, and spicy pepperoni. I can’t restrain an eager hum of satisfaction.

Four gazes snap to my face. My skin heats five degrees in an instant.

For just that moment, the connection I always believed in between us thrums to life—but not quite the way I’m used to.

Then Jacob tears his attention away with a sneer and taps a few glossy brochures stacked on the table next to him. “I got a campus map, and I think I’ve worked out the best computer lab to do our research under the radar. We can get started tonight.”

I take another bite, but this one slides down my throat with much less pleasure than the first. I still don’t understand why we’re risking staying here.

As if to punctuate my worry, exuberant voices filter in through the townhouse’s front window as students meander by on the sidewalk outside. When I perk my ears, I catch the faint thump of bass reverberating through the wall between our side and the townhouse attached.

We’re surrounded here—surrounded by people whose intentions and allegiances we don’t know.

“Shouldn’t we keep moving?” I say, tensing instinctively for Jacob’s response. “Or totally lay low for at least a little while, until the guardians’ initial search for us is waning?”

He aims his gaze at me again, but it’s only chilly now. “And where do you suggest we go?”

I shrug, attempting a casual air. “There’ve got to be lots of places we could disappear to. Someplace in the wilderness where there’d be no one around to notice us. That’s what we always talked about?—”

“Before,” he breaks in, his voice sharpening. “Things are different now.”

“We need to find this person,” Dominic puts in. “And the longer we wait, the colder the trail will get.”

Zian grunts. “She might hear that we got out and decide to disappear herself.”

“But what can anyone tell us that matters anyway?” I asked. “We are what we are. We should put everything about the facility and the guardians behind us and make our own?—”

“ You don’t get to decide what we ‘should’ do.” Jacob’s voice is pure ice now. “No surprise that you wouldn’t want us hassling anyone associated with the facility, though.”

I grimace. “That’s not what I’m saying. I don’t see how it’s going to help anything. And the more people see us, the more we’re risking getting caught, no matter how much we try to blend in.”

Andreas scoots a little higher in his armchair. “We need answers. Don’t you trust us that we wouldn’t be digging for them without a very good reason?”

When he puts it like that, I don’t know how to argue. My teeth set on edge for a second before I will myself to relax.

“Who is this Ursula woman anyway? She worked in the facility? Why would she be able to tell you more than any other guardian?”

Jacob narrows his eyes at me. “Maybe you could tell us a little about that.”

I frown back at him. “I’ve never heard her name before in my life.”

Jacob considers me and then glances at Andreas. “You could confirm that, couldn’t you? Search her memories for anything related to Ursula.”

Andreas sits all the way up with a twist of his mouth. “Since I only have a very vague sense of who Ursula is, it might not get us anywhere, but I can try.”

I go rigid in my chair, but don’t protest when he fixes his gaze on me. What he sees should only prove my innocence in this one small way.

The shimmer of ruddy light comes into his eyes. He holds his stare for a full minute, not even blinking, the lines of his stunning face softening as he’s absorbed by the search.

Then he drops his gaze. “As far as I can tell, Riva’s never met anyone named Ursula. If she met her without knowing her name, I’m not sure I have a clear enough grasp to pinpoint that.”

He drags in a breath and meets my eyes properly, something like an apology in his tone.

“We think Ursula was someone high up in the facility, maybe even at the top at some point. Zian overheard a couple of the guardians who work in the testing area arguing about a change in policies—one of them saying she wouldn’t have approved and the other pointing out that she wasn’t in charge anymore. ”

“You don’t need to tell her all that,” Jacob snaps.

“Why not?” Andreas asks. “Even if she somehow went back to the guardians and told them, they already know a hell of a lot more about it than we do. We wouldn’t be revealing anything new.”

Zian looks uncertain. “The less she knows about what we’re doing, the better, don’t you think?”

“How else is she going to pitch in with the investigation?”

Jacob snorts. “You think we’re letting her get involved with our mission? Did you get hit on the head on the way out of the facility?”

Andreas glowers at him. “What else are we going to do? Leave her locked up in her room here with someone always needing to play babysitter? If she says she wants to help us, we might as well give her a chance to prove it.”

My spirits rise with a rush of hope, so swift it’s giddying. Andreas believes me—enough to give me a chance, anyway.

I still don’t think we’re really safe sticking around here, but I’d rather be with the guys helping us get what they think they need than holed up in the bedroom twiddling my thumbs.

“I’ll do whatever I can,” I say quickly. “I’ll be a little rusty on the computers, but I can handle the basics.”

Jacob scowls at me and turns his attention back on Andreas. “If she wanted to be helpful, she’d own up to the truth about what she’s been doing the last four years.”

Andreas cocks his head. “Does that really matter as much as what she does now ?”

Dominic clears his throat, and the others glance at him, recognizing that he’s got something to say. He isn’t the type to interrupt.

He glances at me and then the others. “The more she’s around the other people on campus, there is more chance she could get across some kind of signal. If that’s what she’d want to do.”

“It’s not,” I mutter.

Andreas waves off Dominic’s concern. “Isn’t that already covered by the whole poison precaution? If she screws us over and loses your help, she’s signed her own death sentence. Nothing to worry about.”

Dominic hesitates. “I suppose we can cover more ground if she comes with us. All four of us can be working at the same time.”

Jacob can’t argue away the logic they’ve presented. He doesn’t look happy about it, though.

He turns to Zian. “Are you okay with her running around on the loose?”

“No,” Zian says, and my heart lurches. “Not when we can’t be sure what she’ll do.”

“It won’t really be on the loose,” Andreas says in an exasperated tone. “We wouldn’t let her go off on her own. One of us would always be with her.”

Zian nods slowly. “Okay, that doesn’t sound so bad.”

“There you go.” Andreas smiles at me—is that the first time any of the guys have aimed a friendly expression at me since I made it back to them?

I can’t tell how much it’s the novelty or relief or the way the smile turns his face twice as gorgeous, but a flutter of warmth fills my chest.

“It’ll look better to the other students if we’re all coming and going—like we really are attending classes,” Andreas adds.

Dominic rubs his mouth, his expression turning even more pensive. “We should probably sit in on some lectures here and there too, just to keep up appearances so no one starts to wonder.”

Jacob sighs and studies me again with his hardened eyes.

“You tell me what you need me to do to help out, and I’ll do it,” I say. “If this Ursula woman is so important, I’ll dig up everything I can.”

“Fine,” he bites out, and grabs another slice of pizza with a hostile gesture as if it’s offended him too. “But we’re not letting you get anywhere near the computers. You can be on cover-story duty.”