Page 55 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

Ursula Engel admitted that she’d created us by combining human DNA with the essence of what she called “monsters.” Maybe something on her laptop or phone will help us understand exactly what that means.

“We’ve all had issues with our talents getting away from us,” Andreas says, but his tone is still wary.

When the rest of them lose control, none of them risks putting the rest of us through indescribable torture.

"It was only that one moment,” I can’t help replying. “There were other times when I could have used it, when it wanted me to let it loose, and I kept it under wraps. I decided to use it in Engel’s house, because it was either that or we died.”

“And it was fucking amazing.” Jacob pushes to his feet, his penetrating stare sliding over the other guys. In the faint light with that resolute stance, he looks like a warrior guardian angel, just missing the wings.

He jabs his forefinger toward me. After the past couple of weeks, I can’t restrain a wince even though his frown obviously isn’t directed my way.

“Riva gave the pricks everything they deserved,” he says fiercely. “She threw all the pain they’ve put us through back at them, right where it belongs. And she didn’t give us so much as a papercut in the process. So don’t any of you dare act like she’s anything but a goddamned superhero.”

I blink at him, startled speechless for the second time in minutes. How the hell did the guy who’s been going out of his way to bully me at every opportunity suddenly become my biggest supporter?

Is he really, or is his attitude going to turn on a dime with the next shift in the wind?

The corner of Zian’s mouth kicks up with a hint of a smile. “It was pretty spectacular watching them all go down.”

Andreas tips his head to me. “We’ll find answers—for all of us.”

Dominic’s attention has been drawn away by something beyond the door. He leans toward it before glancing back at us.

“We’re coming up on the first junction. We wanted to switch trains here, right?”

“Yes.” Jacob snatches up the laptop he cast aside. “The more times we divert course, the harder it’ll be for the guardians to track us.”

Zian stuffs the guns into the sack we found and peers around us through the walls of the car with his X-ray sight. “I don’t see anything strange nearby.”

A squeal pierces the air as the train’s brakes grip the tracks. Dominic peeks out through the door again and motions to us when the coast is clear.

We hop out into the thickening night and slink along the side of another, motionless train to get a look at our options for transport.

As Jacob pushes ahead in his typical mode as our self-declared leader, Andreas touches my arm—just a fleeting gesture to draw my attention. He slows purposefully, and I match his pace even as tension winds around my gut.

What does he want?

He ducks his head with a slant of his mouth that looks more embarrassed than anything else and then glances sideways at me. “I realized—we got so caught up in the moment that night—I didn’t even think about protection. Do we need to worry that you could be?—”

I catch on before he even finishes the question.

“No,” I interrupt hastily, my cheeks flaring. “The guardians fitted me with some birth control thing before we started going on missions, and they’d updated it just a few months before we tried to escape. It should still be working.”

Even if it wasn’t, with the stress and physical strain of my captivity at the cage-fighting arena, I haven’t had a period in years.

“And that was the first time I ever… did anything like that,” I add awkwardly, not really wanting to put a name on the act out loud. “So no diseases or whatever to worry about.” I pause. “At least from me.”

It’s hard to tell in the dim light from the security lamps up ahead, but I think Andreas’s face flushes beneath his coppery brown skin. His gaze drops to the gravel-strewn ground.

“There was only once before for me, and it was—the guardians arranged it, a couple months after they took you away. I think they figured we needed some kind of outlet. I didn’t want to. But they would have been careful about health and all that.”

A rush of cold washes over me. My feet stumble for a second before I recover. “You—they forced you? All of you?”

My gaze flicks to the guys ahead of us, but Andreas is already shaking his head. “They tried, but it… didn’t go so well. That’s why it was only the once, and only me.”

His voice has gotten strained, but I have to ask. “What happened?”

Andreas’s jaw ticks. He raises his head, but I can’t tell which of his friends he’s looking at. “That’s one story that is definitely not mine to tell. You should just know, while you were dealing with all that crap where they took you… a lot of shit went down for us too.”

I’d already realized that, but I’d had no idea the guardians had gone that far.

Jacob motions to us, and Andreas picks up the pace to catch up. I follow him, my stomach churning.

Just how badly did our former captors damage the boys I loved?

And was it too much for them to ever really be those guys again, even if they want to?