Page 139 of Shadowblood Souls: The Complete Series

My men don’t want to drag me into a plan I don’t agree with. They trust me to judge when the balance of opportunity to risk skews right.

Too bad I’m not sure how much I trust myself. That last escape we carried out is what got us captured.

It led to those gory photographs Clancy showed me.

We definitely won’t be able to bring everyone with us, not when a bunch of the shadowbloods are on this mission.

Hell, for all I know Clancy did bring one of my guys with him and I just didn’t spot him.

I can tell Andreas and Jacob are still in the area, but I don’t have that kind of awareness of Zian.

I slip into the cafeteria in a daze and am hit with a wave of relief seeing Zee by the food table. He notices me at the same moment and gives me a smile so bright and yet shy that it wrenches at my heart.

I hurry over to fill my plate next to him, careful not to stand close enough to touch. He tilts a little toward me as he snatches an enchilada off a platter with a pair of tongs.

“I saw Jake last night. Told him where I’ve spotted the markings Drey showed me for the emergency system.”

My pulse stutters with this new piece of information added to the puzzle of “What the hell am I going to do?” All the factors are starting to line up, pointing toward a conclusion I can’t ignore.

It isn’t really a sudden decision. We’ve been prepping for a moment like this for days.

“Good,” I murmur in response, taking an enchilada of my own.

As I drop some salad onto my plate, Zian backs up abruptly to make room for a younger shadowblood who’s darting to the dessert tray. In his haste, Zee’s elbow brushes my forearm.

He jerks his arm close to his chest like he’s been burned, the now-familiar panic crossing his face for an instant before his jaw tightens.

I swallow thickly as I give him a slight nod to indicate that I’m okay. That I’m not offended by his reaction.

And anger sparks in my chest.

The flames of my fury smolder while I add a cookie to my meal, while I walk behind Zian over to one of the tables, while I sit across from him and take in the longing I can now recognize in his gaze when he looks at me briefly before digging into his lunch. The burn spreads all through my abdomen.

He’s gotten worse—he’s still worse than he was before, even though Clancy finished his sick games almost a week ago. The guy in front of me, the guy I love , has taken even more damage in the short time we’ve been here than he’d already endured before.

How long can we let them keep manipulating us, using us? How much farther will they go?

Who will they hurt next? How many of the younger shadows have they already screwed up without my even knowing it?

The anger sears into a swell of resolve. We can’t stay here any longer.

Every day, every hour, each of us dies a little more.

And it isn’t just me. I might be lighting the signal fire, but we made this plan together.

We all have a choice. Me and my guys and the other shadowbloods who can join us or not. We won’t force them.

I tap my fork lightly against my plate, and Zian looks up.

“Tonight,” I mouth, not even a whisper.

The way his face lights up tells me this is right.

As I gulp down my lunch without tasting it, I focus on the marks dappled across my collarbone. On my sense of Jacob and his taut, brutal energy.

He’s outside right now, but not far. In the clearing just outside the facility, I think.

I construct an excuse in my head. When I stand up from the table, I make a show of patting my hip pockets.

Then I jog over to the door, where one of the guardians is monitoring, as always. “I think I dropped one of my earbuds outside while I was training. Can I quickly check the clearing?”

The man eyes me, but I really do have a portable radio and a set of wireless buds that Clancy supplied me with back in my room. I’ve been on good behavior my whole time here.

They have no reason to think I’d be up to anything nefarious—and they’ll be watching me the whole time anyway.

“I want you back inside in five minutes,” he says brusquely.

“Thanks!”

I dart out the entrance and down to the clearing. Jacob is poised near the trees with a couple of weights from a rack the guardians have set out, but the second I appear, his attention snaps to me.

To avoid being obvious about my real intentions, I stalk over to the edge of the jungle by the path that leads to the climbing area. I don’t need to do more than be here—Jake joins me a moment later.

“What’s up?”

I keep my tone casual. “Dropped something. Help me look?”

I crouch down as if peering through the underbrush. Jacob squats next to me, his shoulder brushing mine.

“Tonight,” I say under my breath. “Right after last dinner. Dom might help you.”

Jacob reins in any reaction he might have to the news other than the glitter of his cool blue eyes. “You got it, Wildcat.”

We veer in separate directions, and then I let out a huff as if in frustration. “I’ll have to look by the climbing range next time I’m out.”

As I lope back to the facility, my heart thuds in my chest. We’re really doing this—if we can get coordinated in time.

My hand rises to my cat-and-yarn necklace, flicking over the silver surface without quite swiveling the joints. And a different thought jabs through me like an icy spear.

If we’re going to get out of here and stay free from Clancy’s grasp, we’re going to have to deal with Griffin.