Page 95 of Serpent In White

Abdiel pulls out of my mouth, leaning down to kiss his cum from my mouth. Then Drake pulls out of my ass, leaning down to lick up the remnants of my cum all over my abs. And they both kiss me, then they kiss each other, all of our breaths echoing the magnitude of our releases, binding us in something deeply profound, sensual and wonderful.

I just wish it were as simple as keeping them forever. But I know it’s not.

Because once our dizzying highs wear off, we’re reminded of our reality.

Drake helps me up and Abdiel cleans me off. I’m dazed as they take care of me; they tend to me in silence, like a ritual.

My eyes aim toward the peak of the mountain, and I wonder how much of this is just vanity.

Just something to fill my cup until its inevitable end.

After the adventure in the woods, Drake disappears.

Darian and I walk back to the Den separately, just in case someone’s watching, which no one seems to be.

The festival was great. One of the best I’ve ever had, but maybe I’m biased since I got to be such a huge part of it. My meals were a success, as was helping Ryle operate in the kitchen. I loved every minute of it.

Of course, that meant I didn’t get to thoroughly enjoy the party like everyone else. And boy, did they enjoy it.

By the time we sneak back to the Den, it’s almost three in the morning and people are still drinking by the fire, skinny dipping in the lake, singing songs, dancing and just celebrating. Summer is here and we’ve felt it all night.

I felt it in my bones while Darian, Drake, and I were doing our thing… The air warm, the moon high, stars bathing our flesh in their sparkle while we performed like animals in the forest.

I’m not as shocked as I was maybe a week ago at the things happening between me and the leaders of The Principality. I’m more concerned about what this all means and where it’s headed.

Drake is the most emotionally unavailable person I’ve ever come across, but I can feel him fighting against himself. Every second we spend together, and more so every second he spends next to Darian, it’s like he’s in physical pain. I feel him resisting what he wants,strong, as if he’s trying to repel a magnetic force, and I can’t for the life of me decipher what the hell it’s all about.

He blocks out his thoughts, that much is clear. I don’t know how he does it, but any time he doesn’t want us to hear him, his thoughts get this fuzziness to them, like static waves. It’s odd, but I’m more worried aboutwhyhe feels he has to do that. Could it really be because of what the Regnum would think about him and Darian being in love?

I don’t want to believe that. I don’t want to believe that my family would crucify two people for loving each other regardless of their origins in this world. Love is love, and at the end of the day, as long as the people are consenting and old enough to do so, I don’t see the problem.

But maybe I’m being naïve. I would hope not, but you never know.

And then there’s Darian. My King who is quickly taking shape as the love of my life, and it’s so overwhelming sometimes I feel like I could fall down and weep into the dirt.

Is this how it feels to get the person you’ve been wanting for so long? Is this the kind of gut-twisting satisfaction that comes from finally being granted your one wish, and being so ecstatic to have it you don’t even know what to do with yourself?

It’s how I feel every time I’m with Darian. The thing is, I know I could be happy with him and only him for the rest of my days. It’s notmewho would be holding up this relationship.

My King has baggage, and a lot of it. It’s not my place to urge him into action, and I would never judge. Such is the curse of falling for someone who’s in love with someone else, and so detrimentally frightened by what it means.

I just have to sit back and wait for them to figure their shit out. Be supportive, keep my ear and shoulder available to bend or lean on, enjoying the unexpected sinfully hot sex, which is so obviously a crutch for the two of them it’s not even funny.

The mild chaos burning between the three of us just adds to my need to break away for a bit. I’m going to get closure on the deaths of my parents. I’ll seek answers and information, let Mother guide me to the next, and hopefully final step in my spiritual rebirth.

MyEcdysis.

I need to shed the uncertainties of the old Abdiel and reemerge from the woods an enlightened version of myself. Hopefully, this little trip will also give me some clarity on the three-way relationship I’ve found myself tangled in with two men twice my age. Plus, they might need the alone time to sort out their nonsense.

I just hope I don’t return to blood and gore.

Glancing left, I smile at my stubborn king, asleep at my side, peacefully sated and quiet. He’s truly beautiful, almost unbelievably gorgeous, and I understand how blessed I am to be in his presence romantically.

He’s troubled, sure. Because no one could be that perfect without some inner flaws. I just wish I knew more about what he’s holding against himself…

Darian and Drake both seem to feel unworthy of love, but in different ways. Drake won’t let anyone get close enough, I think because he refuses to take on the burden of someone else’s heart. But Darian…

His heart is yearning for it. Aching to be filled with the love of another. Yet he can’t accept it.