Page 157 of Serpent In White

The black rock isn’t there.

Gulping, my fingers begin to tremble. It’s not a relief to me, not seeing it. I know it’ll come, and I know what it wants.

Taking a deep breath, I yank my prisoner into the clearing and shove him to the ground. He rests on his knees, gaping around frantically. His thoughts are wavering, the forces pulling him. And I hear all of it…

I hear it as he goes through every bad thing he’s ever done. My mouth dries while I watch him crumbling, curling into the fetal position as he cries.

“Accept your sins, Officer Hoyt.” I step closer. “This is what it wants.”

He turns until he’s lying on his back, sweat lining his forehead, mixing with the blood in his hair as he gawks up at me. He’s afraid. I see it and hear it. But it’s not me he should fear…

“You’re evil,” he gasps. “And God sent the serpent to destroy Adam. To destroy man.”

I nod. “Yea. Probably.” I pull my knife from my pocket, opening the blade.

“Why are you doing this?” He wails, wetting himself.

“You know why.” I lunge at him, grabbing him by the collar. Kneeling over him, I bring us nose to nose. “Evil atones, too. Human sacrifice, Hoyt. Your greed will cost you your life.” I bring my knife to his throat. “Any last words?”

“I’m… sorry…” he whines, snot dripping down his face.

“Noted.”

And I slice his throat. Blood spurts from the wound, coating my hand.

He tries to breathe, gasping and gurgling, blood spraying from his mouth onto my face.

I close my eyes and wipe them with my hand, shoving his twitching body down into the dirt. “Great. Now I have to go shower.”

Standing up slowly, I swallow as I watch his body, giving up its last breath. Movement catches my peripheral, and my head tilts toward it.

The rock appears, right beside me.

That black rock, shiny and layered, rippling in my vision. I blink heavily at it.

“Are you satisfied?” I hiss as the trees move around me, wind whipping through the branches.

The smell of blood is strong, like that night, all those years ago.

I paid the price that night, for Darian. And I’m still doing it now. For him, for Abdiel, for all those people down there.

I’ll be the evil, for their good.

After all, it’s the balance.

The natural order.

Evil atones.

My stomach is in knots.

It feels awful, all that twisting and tying. I’m tormented with a guilt so strong it burns my insides like bile.

Abdiel was gone when I woke up. I was relieved when he came to bed with me, after I told him the truth. After I confessed my secret… about my intimate relationship with his father. He was hurt and confused, I could see it, hear it even worse.

But he still stayed with me. He slept in my arms, breathing soft breaths on my flesh, brushing me with his sweetness, his acceptance; his loving forgiveness.

Yet reluctantly, I dozed off. And when I awoke, he was gone.