Page 16 of Serpent In White

The thing is, I know it’s wrong to be prying for details. It’s also an abuse of my position as a Domestic. I’m not invited into Head Priest’s home to spy on him. I’m here to work.

But there’s this need inside me… this burning fascination, like an ache that starts in my brain, then runs from behind my ribs, all the way down, deep into my loins. It takes over my entire body.

My mind is possessed with this yearning, and nothing shy of knowing what happens in that room will sate it.

I dreamt about him again last night. I dreamt I was watching him through a keyhole. He was in a bathtub for some reason, and he knew I was looking. He put on a bit of a show for me… washing and rubbing, his own fingertips dancing across his soapy wet skin while I gazed on with the widest eyes ever.

I woke up so hard I was tenting my sheets. My balls were practically vibrating. And when I came in my hand, it washisname on my tongue like a new favorite song.

Darian. My King.

God, yes.

I need to get a grip. This isn’t right.

Those are the penances I’m repeating tonight as I prepare for dinner. We’ve roasted two chickens stuffed with lemons and fresh thyme from the garden. I made mashed potatoes and steamed some carrots. Focusing on the food will keep me distracted from the images floating around in my skull, and the way they want to make my dick hard, even here at work.

It’s crazy. I haven’t gotten this many erections since I first hit puberty. It’s nuts that this is happening now, and all it took was a new fantasy to spur it on. Though, if I’m being completely honest, it’s been a long time coming.

I never wanted to admit to myself that the reason I’ve been so fascinated with Head Priest is that I’m crushing on him hard. It’s an inconvenience I don’t need. Not to mention, it could never progress in any direction other than me being reprimanded and embarrassed beyond all reckoning.

I also don’t really have anyone I could speak with about the potential of being gay. Like I said before, we don’t do labels much in The Principality, which I’ve always liked and respected. But the default seems to be men with women. At least it is in the case of my friends. And I don’t mind being different. Actually, I like it. But what Idon’tenjoy is being alone.

“Hey, kid. What’s got you so torn up tonight?” Gina’s voice breaks into my head, and I jerk. “You’ve been quiet since yesterday. Everything alright?”

I nod rapidly. “No, yea. I’m fine.” She’s not convinced, which isn’t surprising after the way I just said that. “I’m just a little stressed. Overthinking and such…”

Gina stops what she’s doing and pulls me aside. “Is this because Paul and I were asking you what you wanted for your future? Kiddo, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to put pressure on you. It’s just… Being a Domestic is great for now, but I want you thinking of something bigger. There are all sorts of jobs available on the Expanse, not just house and farm work. That’s all I was trying to say.”

“I know, Gina. I know.” I rub her arm. “It’s not that. You guys are great. You just got me thinking is all.”

She observes me for a moment, still concerned, brows zipped up. But eventually, she straightens and nods, accepting my words, then brushes my hair back with her fingers.

“There are always classes you can take, too,” she adds. “Maybe you could… talk to Drake.”

I swallow like an instinct at mention of the Serpent. “Really? I wasn’t sure you’d approve…”

“It’s part of The Principality, Abdiel.” She shrugs. “Could be worth looking into. Just to see what it’s about.”

I nod and end the conversation by tugging her back to the counter to finish dinner. And that whole thing certainly worked as a distraction, because I’m definitely not fantasizing about Head Priest anymore. Now I’m thinking about his brother…

There’s a mass of mystery at the center of The Principality. We’re open about a lot as a family, but there’s also a lot they don’t tell you as a kid growing up here. Things you stumble into learning as an adult.

Drake’s operation is a big part of that. He oversees the import/export business for crops, sure, but he’s also in charge of overseeing education, and chemical production. His title isn’tThe Alchemistfor nothing.Serpentis something we sort of call him behind his back because of his creepy eyes and his odd behaviors, though I’m sure he knows about it.

Drake doesn’t live in Regnum housing like the rest of us, nor does he reside in the Den with Head Priest and the wives. Drake has a small cabin near the top of White Trumpet Mountain, which is also where the lab is located. The Alchemist’s lab is an enigma itself. We know there are chemists creating things for The Principality, like fuel and medicine. But all chemists are trained by Drake himself and sworn to secrecy. If they spill any details of what happens in the lab, they risk execution.

Yea. Like, actualdeathfor talking.

Just another facet of life on the Expanse I’ve always been eager to learn more about, though I’m hesitant. I enjoy working as a Domestic, because I like to cook and serve.I like being near him…

But with all my friends either joining the Tribe or becoming farmers, it leaves me wondering what my future could hold.And what could please this mischievous streak inside me?

Dinnertime comes as it always does, and the process begins. The wives come down first, then Darian. Everyone gets drinks, then food. Salad and bread to start, then plates of farm fresh home cooking.

Us children of the Expanse have heard horror stories, from Head Priest and from strays, about food in the outside world, full of chemical additives, hormones and preservatives that can give you cancer or cause other disorders. I’m grateful to Mother every day that I’ve never had to experience it. Our food comes straight from the earth. We don’t believe in chemical pesticides or engineering vegetables in the lab.

From what I understand, everything Drake does in his lab is completely natural. It’s interesting…Maybe I would like to learn about it.