Page 125 of Serpent In White

I have to laugh at that. “I doubt that’s something that happens, but don’t worry. Vomit barely graced my mind.”

She shoves me in the chest while I chuckle teasingly. She rolls her eyes and spins around, nestling her back up against my front. “Goodnight, jerk. And if you rub your boner on me, I’ll beat you to death with my shoe.”

I swallow hard. “Then you might want to give me a minute…”

“Abdiel!”

“I’m sorry!” I huff, flipping my dick up into the waistband of my boxer briefs. “Okay okay. You’re fine.”

She exhales, and I reach over to the flashlight, switching it off. We’re both quiet for a few minutes, though I can tell she’s still awake from her thoughts running wild. Honestly, they’re sort of mirroring mine.

I hope Darian won’t be upset…

And what do we do about these new feelings?

I haven’t slept in two nights.

The last solid night’s sleep I got was with Abdiel in the lounge. When I awoke, he’d left for his journey. And since then, all I’ve been able to do is stress in one form or another.

Stress about Drake… the distance between us. The things he’s been doing to these spies and trespassers.

Stress and worry about Abdiel, up on that mountain alone. Wandering, unknowingly into that spot…

Over the years, I’ve done a decent job of keeping the Regnum from stumbling across the clearing by the peak of the mountain. It’s not somewhere people should go, intentionally or by accident. But on occasion, they come across it.

They rarely live to tell what happens when they do.

Drake and I have been trying to keep the mountain patrolled by the Tribe, but there simply aren’t enough of them for so much space. We’re still recruiting, so I suppose we’ll see how many new members we can get.

Worst-case scenario, we might have to start taking in strays again. I’m not completely opposed to it, but Drake isn’t typically a fan of that idea. He doesn’t trust anyone. I suppose he wouldn’t…

For now, it’s all just rampant concern, clouding up my mind until there’s so much racing around in there, I have no hope of ever falling asleep. All of this chaos rippling through me… the Regnum wanting an heir, Drake pulling away from me, Abdiel finding out the secrets we try so hard to keep buried… getting adivorce?

“Fuck this.” I whip my blanket off and stomp over to my closet.

Pulling on some sweats, I grab a towel from my bathroom, heading downstairs. At first, I consider going into my gym to work out. But when I pass the backdoor, my eyes fix on the lake.

I think I see someone out there.

Mischief coiling inside me, I wander to the door and head outside, strolling toward the lake, gaze stuck on a figure I immediately identify.

He’s out pretty far, floating with his eyes closed. I worry for a split second that something is wrong with him, but then I hear his thoughts, vaguely. I haven’t had Empyrean in a few days, and I could definitely use more.

But regardless, I can hear whispers from his mind, all twisted together. Pain and anguish, joy and elation, desire and lust, needy torment. I can’t even fathom what it feels like to be inside his mind sometimes. He doesn’t think like a regular person does.

He’s a maze, a riddle to decode. I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure him out, and I’m beginning to think it may never happen…

Watching him float in the lake, basking in the glow of the moon, my head tilts. He’s dressed… in white linen clothes. The ensemble he usually wears to weekly sermons or on special occasions. Because white signifies rebirth.

Ecdysis is our personal transformation. I remember the first time he told me that.

The first time we tried Empyrean together.

In that moment, we were one. With each other, with Mother. With the universe.

It’s all I can see right now while he swims in the lake, a serpent in white, so lovely and dangerous as the human representation of everything we’ve done to get right here. He’s lodged directly in my heart, wickedly beautiful… quite possiblyevil, as he says, yet I wouldn’t want him any other way.

I can’t hate him the way he craves. I can only hate how much I fucking love him, and how much I’ll never stop. An infinite truth.