Page 123 of Serpent In White

I want to lie, and I’m not sure why. I’m not a liar, and I don’t care what anyone thinks. But the addition of Drake into the equation of Darian plus Abdiel equals something none of us understand, not even a little.

Still, I answer, “No. There’s one other… person.”

“A guy?” Her tongue slides over her lower lip, drawing my attention to how pink it is. I nod slowly. “You’ve never been with a girl… ever?”

“No,” I whisper. And suddenly, I’m very aware that we’re closer than when I first laid down. We’re still separated by my sleeping bag, but her face is only a foot from mine.

“Have you always known?” She asks, nestling in even closer.

I can smell her, like fresh-cut lilies and wild lavender.

“Known…?” My voice trails, sounding raspier to my own ear than usual.

She tilts her head. “That you’re gay.”

“I’m not…” I start, then pause, considering my words. “I’m not sure that I am… gay.” She blinks. “I mean, I’ve never… tried. So I wouldn’t… know.”

Man, that was hard to get out.

Tension is enveloping us like a balloon filled with buzzing energy. I think I must be fucked up in the head, because I can’t stop wondering what it would feel like to kiss her… And this is someone I compared to a sister earlier in the day.

I’m clearly a little sick, but my curiosity is winning out as I move in closer.

“Abdiel, don’t try to kiss me,” she murmurs, even though my face is inching and inching, until our lips are hovering. “I mean it. Donot.”

“Why…?” My voice is a barely-there whisper.

“Because you’re in love with someone else.” Her words are telling me no, but she’s not moving away. And I hear her thoughts, fighting what’s coming from her own mouth. A mouth I’m sincerely interested in right now.

Two someones, but who’s counting?“I am.”

Her small body has crept so close to me, we’re practically melting together. Thank God these blankets are in the way… Acting as a buffer. Because as curious as I am, I know I really can’t let this happen.

I’m at war with myself, and it’s crazy confusing.

“I don’t want to be an experiment, Abdiel,” she says with conviction that stops me; freezes me in place.

“I would never want you to feel like that.” Our eyes hold one another’s gaze, waves of arousal fluctuating in the air between us.

“Then why would I let you kiss me?”

“You shouldn’t,” I hum, and she bites her lip. “But maybe you’ll kiss me…”

She shivers visibly. “And why would I do that?”

“Because you want to.” My pulse is rapping hard against my chest. “And I want you to…”

“But you love him,” she whimpers, sending a strange jolt to my erection.

“I do,” I say again over her plump, trembling lips. “And he loves someone else, too.”

“This sounds like a soap opera,” she mumbles, her slender fingers reaching out to touch my neck.

“I don’t know what that is.”

She giggles a breathy sound, hitting me in the junk once more, before mutteringfuck it, and pressing her soft lips to mine.

It’s such a foreign feeling. It’s kissing, sure, which I’ve done multiple times now with Darian and Drake. Darian and I have spenthourskissing ourselves stupid, yet when thisgirlkisses me, I’ve completely forgotten what to do.