Page 90 of Serpent In White

But I don’t stop there. My place is farther, about a half-mile from the lab, nestled in the forest of White Trumpet Mountain. There’s a lookout area, and my cabin is located on it. I’m pretty high up, but not even close to as high as the mountain goes… Where Abdiel wants to go.

I know what’s up there, and I don’t like to encounter it often. It’s a hard one to explain, and even Darian doesn’t really grasp what it truly means. All he knows is that we should stay away from it, and keep our family away from it, too. To protect them.

Parking my four-wheeler out front, I hop off and stalk into my house, kicking off my boots at the door. My place isn’t even half as big as Darian’s, and certainly not as fancy. But then he has five other people living with him. Here it’s just me.

Darian’s only been to my home twice since I built it. He came up one time to see me, and let’s just say it didn’t work out well… That night ended in a fight, and I told him not to come back. So now he doesn’t.

If he wants to see me, he comes to the lab. Or he waits for me to come to him. And usually I do, but sometimes I don’t. Because I’m an asshole, and I have to be one. After everything we’ve been through, from the time we left home at fifteen to right now, I’m convinced Darian would be so much better off without me, romantically speaking.

I’ll still always be his brother, his family. I’ll always protect him, lay down my life for him. And apparently, I can’t keep my dick away from him, so that will probably keep happening, though it shouldn’t. Especially if he has Abdiel now.

Wandering over to my wood stove, I toss a couple of logs in and get the fire started. Then I meander around, going to the fridge for a beer, wallowing in the bullshit I’ve brought upon myself. I wish there was something I could do, some way I could feel better about this, but it’s hopeless.

Abdiel’s wrong. I’m not meant for happiness.

It’s not his fault. He’s young. He’s like Darian was at that age; head in the clouds, beautiful sparkling ideas, hearts in his eyes and overflowing with a need to love someone. Darian’s still like that deep down, though he’s been battered and beaten into something much more cynical over the years, hiding himself and lying and craving…

And most of it is my fault.I told you, I’m evil.

Falling down onto my couch, I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling, bottle in my hand hanging off the edge. I don’t want to torture myself, but my mind won’t stop drifting back down the mountain to a private room in my brother’s house… where I know he’s fooling around with his newboyfriend. If that’s what Abdiel is to him, I have no idea.

I’m not meant to be a part of what they’re doing, but I can’t help closing my eyes and listening, with all my might. Trying desperately to hear that far. Tofeelthem.

Darian on his knees, pulling Abdiel’s pants down slowly, gazing up at his eyes; ocean blue locked on moss green. His tongue sliding over his lower lip as he wraps his fist around Abdiel’s long cock, eager mouth inching closer.

My breaths grow unsteady as my hand drifts into my pants, adjusting my erection, writhing where I lie while I picture it, hearing their gasps and groans in my mind as Darian bows to his prince and Abdiel takes it, loving it. Having a King on his knees.

A small mewl leaves my lips unintentionally while my hand rubs against my cock, hard as stone at the images flooding my mind. They get onto the bed, and Abdiel crawls over Darian, his ass splayed out for my brother like a feast. He sinks his warm, perfect mouth down on Darian’s thick cock, already having enough experience now to know what he likes. Darian likes when you tease the head with your tongue, then suck hard but slow. He likes it gradual. He likes his dick to be worshipped by your mouth, and that’s what Abdiel will do for him.

That’s what I do for him.

A tear sneaks out of my eye, and I turn my face to wipe it on my arm, breathing heavily as I tug my cock, harder and harder, imagining the things I can’t have. Being in that bed with them again… touching and kissing and teasing, building lust and need like the spreading of a wildfire.

I see Darian licking and sucking everywhere, holding him so hard he’ll bruise Abdiel’s milky flesh.

The longing in my chest is palpable, painful. Excruciating, and it gets me off in the end. The aching in my chest, throbbing as hard as my cock while it erupts an orgasm of heartbreak.

Breaths fly in and out of me while I cry silent tears.

They’re by the lake, and I’m on the mountain.

I’m alone, and this is how it needs to be. I fooled myself once, and I paid the price for it.

I won’t do it again.

The palette of sunset reflects off the lake. Pinks, oranges, and yellows, swirling together over the surface of the large water body.

The twinkling lights are strung up on the trees, giving us that enchanting feel. The whimsical aura of summer solstice.

It’s beautiful.

The festival occurs all over the Expanse, but the real party is happening here, outside the Den. Tables set up for guests to sit and dine, a buffet out back where Ryle and Abdiel are providing food for everyone.

I’m trying to be coy, but I’ve been watching that area closer than anywhere else.

Abdiel is in his zone tonight. He made some delicious food, roasted corn with vegetables and chicken wings. He also made dessert. Peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream. I’m amazed at his skills, and also not. I volunteered him for a reason.

The party has been ruminating for a few hours, and everyone is having a great time. I suppose I am, too. But I’m anxious.