Page 95 of Search My Soul (Taylor Family Saga #3)

Any time Darion and I went to a major event, I would end up on someone’s tea page with a random caption that didn’t fit the situation at all.

Darion remained levelheaded no matter what was posted while I would stay up for hours combing through the comments.

I hated being judged by people who didn’t even know me, but I guess that was what came with dating a public figure.

Everyone wanted to know everything about you and whatever they couldn’t find out they would make up.

According to several blogs, I had been with rappers and athletes for years, and I was a gold-digging opportunist. None of those things were true, but they didn’t seem to care about the truth.

“Do you see yourself taking things to the next level with him? I saw he did an interview, and he mentioned that he was ready to settle down and get married. Are you ready for that?”

“Hell no. I’m enjoying my time with him, but I don’t want to get married right now.

We’ve had general conversations about it, and I’ve made it clear that I wasn’t ready for marriage.

However, I don’t think that he understands how serious I am.

My biggest fear is that he’ll try to propose to me in a public setting and I’ll be forced to either say yes to spare his feelings or I’ll say no and embarrass him.

I don’t want either of those things to happen.

” Darion took me to another one of his family events and his mother kept calling me her daughter-in-law.

Don’t get me wrong, I love her like a mother figure, but I didn’t like her calling me that prematurely.

Darion and I were still fairly new, so there was no reason to rush into things.

“It sounds to me like you’re having second thoughts.” Puma peered over at me with her eyebrow raised.

“I’m not having second thoughts. I really like him, and we have a lot of fun in our relationship.”

“But…”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say there’s a but.

I just wanna take things slow. In the beginning, he agreed that was the best route for us, but somewhere along the way, the lines got blurred.

I never even wanted him to post me. In fact, I asked him not to out of respect for my privacy.

Then our pictures got leaked at a party and he decided to just go ahead and make things public.

I care about him a lot, but I’m not gonna let anyone pressure me into making a big decision like marriage or anything else. ”

“Can I ask you a question?” I gulped. Anytime someone ever asked that question, it was always followed by a tough question.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Is it that you don’t want to get married at all, or is it that you don’t want to marry Darion?” I shifted in my seat, processing her question.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’m your best friend. Even if you don’t say anything, I still see everything.

You were with Soul for the same amount of time that you’ve been with Darion, but your reactions are so different.

You haven’t told this man you love him and now you’re telling me that if he were to propose you would say no.

I guess I just wonder if things would’ve been different if it was someone else.

” I bit the inside of my cheek as she gave me a knowing look.

I hated the fact that she could see right through me, but what I hated more was that she was right.

“Those two relationships are like night and day. With Soul, I dove headfirst without a parachute into our relationship. I was ready for the marriage, the babies, and the white picket fence. Then everything came crashing down around me, and all of my dreams were stripped away. I don’t wanna do that again.

Darion is a great guy, but I can’t sit here and tell you that he’s my person because I don’t know.

Maybe with time things will become clearer but right now I just don’t see it for us. ”

“So what you’re saying is that you were biding your time with him until your real husband comes back and gets you.” My mouth fell open in shock because I hadn’t expected her to call me out like that.

“No. I genuinely feel like what Darion and I have is good, and it could potentially be great one day. I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t care about him.”

“But Soul still has your heart and always will.” I took a deep breath, ready to change the subject.

“Puma, please.” Today was my birthday, and the last thing I wanted to do was think about that man.

He hadn’t sent me so much as a birthday text and it bothered me more than I cared to admit.

His sisters were coming to my party, so I knew for a fact that he was aware of what day it was.

Still, he hadn’t made an effort to reach out to me.

“I’m gonna take your silence to mean that I’m right.”

“You are so messy. I never said that. Soul and I will always be connected to each other in some kind of way, and I’m not going to pretend that I don’t love him. However, I’m not in love with him, and I am also in a relationship with someone else.”

“Yeah, okay, pooh. I’m going to allow you to remain on the delulu island for a little while longer, but eventually, you’re going to have to come back down to Earth.

Everyone around you knows the truth and we’re just waiting for the two of you to figure it out on your own.

” My friends and family were very respectful of my relationship with Darion.

They included him in events and celebrations.

However, I was fully aware that most of them were rooting for someone other than him.

They would never say it to his face, and for that I was grateful.

The last thing I wanted was for Darion to become insecure in our relationship.

We’ve talked about my history with Soul, but I made it very clear that I wasn’t a cheater, and if at any point I felt like I could no longer be in this relationship, I would let him go.

He seemed to be okay with my answer, and I could only pray that he meant it.

To keep down confusion, I kept my contact with Soul to a minimum.

We would check on each other every now and then, but that was the extent of our communication.

“Oh, thank God we’re finally here. I can’t take any more of your twenty-one questions.” I hopped out of the car and headed right toward the venue. Everyone else was already inside, so it was time for me to make my grand entrance.

“Girl, I need the name of your party planner because she did the damn thing. I never thought it was possible to have this much fun at a tea party. I’m drunk as hell and these finger sandwiches are addicting. I need a whole tray to myself.” Peaches raved, stuffing another sandwich in her mouth.

“I’ll send you her information. I definitely plan on using her again because she brought my vision to life. The caterer was someone she recommended to me as well. I guess they all collaborate and put each other on to new clients. I’m happy you’re enjoying yourself, Cousin.”

“Yes, girl. Everything was beautiful and you look like a bad bitch per usual.” Passion boasted.

“Thank you, baby. I love your dresses too. I already know you got them custom made because the details are too extravagant to be store bought.” My cousins were the people I called when I needed to know if an outfit was cute or not.

They had the style and the looks to be high fashion models, and I would never stop telling them that.

“Oh, you’re always trying to gas us up. I actually got another opportunity to be in another music video, and I told him that I wouldn’t do it unless I could bring my twin. They were too excited to find out there were two of us.” Peaches snickered.

“I can’t wait to see it. I already know y’all are gonna steal the show.”

We all continued to talk until it was time to open my gifts.

My folks really showed out for me this year, and I couldn’t have been more grateful.

I had no idea where I was going to store all of it, and it had me thinking about getting a new place.

With Riya being with me most of the time and West spending the weekends with us, it was time for me to get a bigger place.

I made a mental note to start house hunting next week.

“Hey, sissy. I know we have already spoken earlier, but I wanted to tell you how much I love you and how proud I am of you. Romi is excited about taking dance classes at your studio. She’s been bragging to all of her friends for weeks.”

When I first met Soul’s sisters, I wasn’t sure if they would accept me.

Sometimes family wasn’t the most welcoming, and I worried that they wouldn’t like me.

Never in a million years did I think that we would grow to be so close.

Patience and Lovely had been godsent to me during my period of grief.

They constantly checked on me and made sure that I was taking care of myself.

There were times when I would shut everyone out, but they never let it stop them.

If I went too long without answering my phone, they would pop up at my place with food and wine.

They gave me the space to grieve without judgment or unsolicited opinions.

I thought they would leave me in the dust after Soul and I broke up, but they have been by my side like true sisters.