Page 103 of Search My Soul (Taylor Family Saga #3)

“Rise and shine,” I sang while yanking the cover from over Soul’s body. His displeasure was evident on his face, but I didn’t care about any of that. He needed to get up.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m waking you up. I cooked breakfast, so you need to come downstairs so you can eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” he grumbled, turning over to his other side.

I couldn’t care less about him being annoyed.

He needed to put something on his stomach, and it wasn’t up for negotiation.

He was probably still upset with me because I slept in the bed with him.

A nagging feeling told me not to take my eyes off him, so I didn’t.

I followed him wherever he went, and my little babies followed after us.

When it came time to go to bed, I slid right into his sheets.

His irritation was visible, but like Duke said, Soul didn’t need to be coddled.

He turned his back for the remainder of the night, but it didn’t bother me.

We were both restless, so it took a while for us to fall asleep, but I made sure he went before me.

As a light sleeper, I noticed every time he moved in his sleep.

Luckily for me, he passed out around three in the morning.

It wasn’t the best sleep, but it was nothing a good cup of coffee couldn’t fix.

“You have five minutes to wash your face, brush your teeth, and bring your ass downstairs. Chop. Chop.”

“You do know that I’m not afraid of you, right? What the hell are you going to do to me if I don’t?”

“Do you really want to find out the answer to that?” Soul was in a grumpy mood, but it wasn’t going to change anything.

I came here for a reason, and I wasn’t leaving, no matter how frustrated he was.

He glared at me for a moment before he sat up in bed.

I tuned out all of his complaining and hummed as I watched him head to the bathroom.

My heart broke for him because I had never seen him so disheveled.

I wished I could take his pain away from him, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the way grief worked.

Many months had passed since losing our son, and I was still trying to figure out what my new normal was supposed to look like.

Those first few months were some of the most painful days of my life.

Every day, I woke up praying it was all a dream, but I could never seem to wake up from it.

My friends and Darion were by my side every step of the way.

They took turns caring for me and making sure my mental health was as good as it could be.

I thought Soul didn’t care because he seemed to be emotionless during the months that followed.

It wasn’t until after I cussed him out at the restaurant that I realized we handled our grief differently.

He put on a brave face for me because he cared more about my grief than his.

Anytime I brought it up, he would tell me that he was fine, but I could tell he was lying.

At the time, I was too weak to press the issue, but I refused to let him go through this alone.

I left Soul alone and headed back to the kitchen.

The pitter-patter of paws trailed behind me, causing a smile to spread across my face.

I missed my boys more than I even realized, and they missed me too.

The moment they laid eyes on me last night, they jumped on me.

It’s crazy how in tune animals were with your emotions.

They loved on me the whole night, but I noticed them taking turns checking Soul’s bedroom.

He was hurting, and they could sense it.

I went ahead and fixed their bowls while we waited for Soul to make his appearance.

The views outside were absolutely breathtaking as I stood in front of the sliding door in the kitchen.

I’ve never been a nature girl, but it made me want to go out and explore.

I could see myself coming up here in the wintertime and watching the snow fall as I sipped a cup of hot chocolate.

It gave me a sense of peace and tranquility I hadn’t realized I needed.

“This shit better be good.” I heard Soul fussing behind me. Apollo and Rosco stopped eating and rushed over to him. He bent down to greet them, rubbing their heads as they licked his face.

“See, y’all have lost your damn minds. You know we don’t even get down like that.

Just because your momma is here, it doesn’t change the rules.

” I snickered because neither of them cared about what he was saying.

They continued to sniff and lick him, making sure to take a few moments to stare into his face.

It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

They felt his energy and wanted to make him feel better.

Soul got up and headed toward the sink to wash his hands. I kept all of the food on low heat so it wouldn’t get cold or dry out. It actually felt good to be in the kitchen cooking for him. It reminded me of the good days when our lives made sense.

“Do you want me to fix your plate? Or do you want to do it yourself?” I questioned, grabbing a plate from the table.

“I’m sure your lame ass boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate you fixing my plate. Besides, I’m good. I don’t want you spitting in my shit when I’m not looking.” He scoffed, taking the plate from my hands. All I could do was laugh because his jealousy was cute.

“What difference would that make? You used to eat my ass on the regular, what’s a little spit gonna do?

” I shot back, causing him to pause at the stove.

I waited for a rebuttal, but nothing ever came.

Instead, we quietly made our plates and took a seat at the table.

Soul attempted to put some space between us by sitting on the far end of the table, but I slid my plate over and moved closer to him.

He eyed me with a scowl on his face as he jammed his fork into his scrambled eggs.

We fell into a comfortable silence with Rosco and Apollo resting in between us on the floor.

It made me think about our time together.

To the outside world, Soul was a dangerous, aggressive force, but this version of him was the complete opposite.

His aura was calm and quiet. I think that was one of the things I fell in love with.

Whenever I was in his presence, I felt safe and at peace.

The conservation was light, which was to be expected.

Soul was still trying to figure out why I was here, so his guard was up.

I anticipated this before I came so I wasn’t bothered by it.

We had gone through a lot, so we had to relearn each other all over again.

After breakfast, Soul offered to wash the dishes while I took a shower and got dressed.

I decided to toss my hair into a bun and call it a day.

I didn’t bother to put on any makeup since we weren’t going anywhere.

Instead, I applied some lip gloss and mascara.

I slid into a two piece active wear set I bought from this local boutique.

It fit me like a glove, and it was comfortable.

Once I was satisfied with my look, I headed to the living room.

Everything looked so different since I cleaned up the place.

Soul hated living in filth, so it shocked me to see this place in such a bad condition.

I looked around for Soul, but I figured he must have been somewhere hiding from me. Apollo and Rosco followed me into the living room and onto the sectional. I figured we could watch one of our favorite movies or shows to pass the time.

“This man has the air on freeze a bitch. ” I fussed as I got up to adjust the temperature in the cabin. I don’t know why he placed the air conditioner on Polar Express, but I couldn’t deal with it any longer.

Last night, I was curled up in a ball as I tried to get comfortable. My teeth were chattering from how cold it was, and I wasn’t dealing with that for another day.

“Soul, hurry your ass up!” I yelled. Within a few seconds, he appeared with a confused expression on his face.

“What exactly am I supposed to be doing?”

“We’re watching a movie, duh. Come on. Have a seat.” I patted the empty spot right next to me, eliciting another confused glare.

“Why are you here? You still haven’t answered my question, and I’m lost. Did my family call you to come up here or something?”

“No, I called them. I wanted to come and check on you,” I answered honestly. There was more to my visit, but that was the basis of it. His eyebrow raised as if he wasn’t sure he believed my answer.

“But why? I’m not your problem anymore. Why would you leave your man to come check on your ex? Don’t you think that’s disrespectful? I know if my woman ever tried me like that, I would be setting shit on fire.”

“I wasn’t aware that I had a boyfriend, so you know more than I do. Do you want to watch Love Jones or The Wood ?” I asked with the remote in my hand. His jaw flexed as he took a seat on the couch. Once again, he went out his way to put space between us.

“We can watch The Wood . I don’t want to see Larenz Tate’s short ass on my screen.”

“You sound like a hater. That man may be a short king, but he could still get it,” I replied.

“Get what?” Soul’s eyes cut over at me, making me laugh. He was still the same possessive man he had always been.

“Anything he wants. Do you want to get any snacks or anything before the movie starts?”