Page 101 of Search My Soul (Taylor Family Saga #3)

“Aye, the family is starting to get worried. No one has heard from you, and they are ready to put out a missing person’s report.

The only reason I’m not tripping is because I have your location and access to your credit card statements.

Your ass over there eating Popeyes while your sisters are over here crying with worry.

You ain’t worth a damn.” If I wasn’t in such a dark place, I would have laughed.

“We love you, bro. I’m letting you rock for now because I know you need to get your mind right.

We’re here when you’re ready to come home.

Love you, kid.” I nodded as I listened to Pure’s voicemail.

It meant a lot to me because our relationship hadn’t always been the best, so it was cool to know he cared.

I already knew our sisters were driving him up a wall trying to figure out what was going on with me, but I needed this time to myself.

My mind had been getting the best of me, and I knew I had only made things worse with the decisions I had been making. I fucked around and relapsed, and I had never been more disappointed in myself. Life had hit me with curveball after curveball, and I guess I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.

I got up from the couch so I could heat up my leftovers.

The food must have been too heavy on my stomach, because twenty minutes later, I was passed out.

I had no idea how much time had passed, but it was dark outside.

The only reason I got up was because I heard a sound coming from the front door.

My siblings and Duke were the only people who knew about this place, so I figured it must have been one of them.

Still, my paranoia was at an all-time high, so I pulled my piece out to make sure I was ready.

I stood in the living room where I had a clear view of the front door with my gun resting by my side.

There were cameras all around, so I could have checked them, but since they were coming through the door, I decided to wait.

Once I saw the doorknob turning, I realized whoever it was must have had a key.

I relaxed slightly, but not enough to put my gun down.

The moment I saw her step through the door, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I never brought her here, so she had no way of knowing about this place unless someone told her.

“What are you doing here?” I stared as she rolled her luggage in as if she was on a vacation.

She didn’t even look in my direction as she slid her shoes off, then proceeded to hang her coat on the coat rack.

For a moment, I thought maybe this was a hallucination since I’ve been doing nothing but drinking and popping pills for the last few weeks.

“Can you grab the cases of water from the car and the groceries?” She held out her car keys, waiting for me to grab them.

“Did you hear my question? How did you even know about this place?”

“I’ve always considered you to be a smart man, so I’m not about to play twenty-one questions with you.

I’m here, and the food is waiting in the car.

I’m gonna go take a shower and get settled in.

” As soon as she placed the keys in my hand, she grabbed her luggage and headed down the hall.

I still wasn’t completely certain that I wasn’t tripping, but I decided to do what she asked.

“Why the hell does she have all this shit in here?” I grumbled aloud after my fourth trip into the house. I was a one, maybe two, trips type of nigga. I hated having to go back and forth so many times. Juicy bought groceries as if she was catering for a family of six, and it made no sense to me.

Once I got into the house, I stood in the middle of the kitchen staring at all of the grocery bags sitting on the floor. She had me fucked up if she thought for one second I would be putting any of this away. Shaking my head, I headed down the hall to see where she had gone.

The sound of music playing piqued my interest. There were three rooms on this level of the cabin, but she chose the master bedroom that I’d already been occupying.

I took a moment to observe all of her things.

Her outfit was already picked out and sitting on the bed next to a bottle of perfume and some lotion.

I smirked when I saw her pink fuzzy slippers on the floor in front of the bed. This woman is something else.

Deciding to give her privacy, I headed back to the living room. Picking up my phone, I sent a message to Pure to see if he was the one who gave her my information. It didn’t sound like no shit he would do, but I needed to know.

Me:

Did you tell her where I was?

Big Bro:

You know I don’t like dumb ass questions, right?

Me:

I’ll take that as a yes.

Big Bro:

Don’t fuck shit up any worse than you already have.

Me:

Damn, I appreciate your faith in me.

Big Bro:

She loves you, bro. Tell her I forgive her for cussing me out.

I chuckled at his last text, wondering what she could have possibly said to him.

Juicy and Pure were rarely ever around each other, but I was aware of how she could get when she didn’t get what she wanted.

I couldn’t even take offense at his comment about fucking things up, because he was right.

I had fucked a lot of shit up, and I wasn’t even sure if I could fix it.

The mere fact that she came here was more than I could have asked for, and I still wasn’t sure if I deserved it.

As I got ready to put my phone down, another text came through.

I was surprised to see it was from Pure because this wasn’t his thing.

The man hated texting or anything else that required him to interact with people for long periods of time.

Big Bro:

I don’t want you to ruin the best thing in your life. I know what it’s like to live with regret, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. You’ve got to pull yourself together and get back on the right track.

Pure never expressed his emotions, and he never mentioned his relationship. As siblings, we were big on respecting boundaries, so we never brought her up. Pure was already closed off, so we knew our limits with him, and he knew to respect ours as well.

I acknowledged his advice as I sat there on the couch.

Never in a million years did I see my life going this way.

A part of me wondered if love was even worth it because it seemed to come with so much pain.

Growing up, I always wanted to have a ride or die chick on my arms because that’s the role my mother played for my father.

Unlike most women, Angel Taylor held her man down in all ways.

Not only would she help my father whip up dope in the kitchen, but she would blast her guns right alongside him.

In my mind, she was the blueprint for how I saw my future wife.

Then she got killed right beside her husband, and I quickly decided that wasn’t what I wanted in a partner.

Hell, I stopped wanting one altogether because the risks never seemed worth it.

In my line of work, I’ve witnessed many women lose their lives behind a man in the streets, and I always told myself that would never be me.

It was best to stay to myself, that way no one would ever be able to use my woman as collateral.

It worked for me over the years because the only people anyone could use against me was my family, and they were all heavily protected.

This situation I found myself in seemed so complex because there was no outside enemy who had taken my girl away from me.

I was the villain in this story. It was me who caused the damage and ultimately shattered our bond.

Even though Neeya messed up too, it didn’t release me from the role I played in all of this.

I allowed the darkness in me to overshadow what was in my heart.

I had been taught to keep my eyes open and never put anything past anyone.

In a moment of doubt, I convinced myself that her love was too good to be true so she must have been trying to set me up.

My error in judgment led me to this place that I never wanted to be.

The pain was so unbearable I couldn’t say the last time I was sober.

My family had no idea how far I’d spiraled since losing Juicy and Zion.

My pride refused to allow them to see me this way.

I couldn’t allow them to see me as a failure because I spent my whole life trying to prove I wasn’t one.

“Hey, can you turn the air down? It’s already cold outside, why do you have the temperature so damn low?” Juicy switched into the living room with her arms wrapped around herself. I observed her body and noticed she’d lost a significant amount of weight.

“I’m sure it’s much warmer at your house.”

“Yeah, it is. However, I’m here, and it’s too cold. Can you turn it down, or do I need to do it?”

“Why are you here, Juicy? I ain’t ask you to come here.”

“Do you want me to leave?” she questioned with her arms crossed over her titties sitting up just right. I couldn’t remember the last time I’ve gotten hard because life had been beating my ass. Sex had been the last thing on my mind.

“I want to know why you’re here.”

“Because I want to be. Do you have any more questions?”

“Yeah, actually, I do. How come colonel doesn’t have an r in it? That shit is weird as fuck to me.” Juicy tilted her head and stared at me as if I was an idiot before a smile broke out on her pretty face.

“Sometimes I worry about you. You know you don’t have to say everything that comes to your mind, right?”