Page 109 of Search My Soul (Taylor Family Saga #3)
“This little boy isn’t even here yet, and you’ve already bought him enough clothing to last him for the next five years. Don’t you think you’re going a little overboard?” Juicy questioned, but I paid her no mind as I set the rest of the bags in the nursery.
“Girl, you are wasting your breath. I’ve been telling him to stop for weeks, but he stares at me like I have two heads.
” Jayla huffed as she waddled into the room.
My hands gravitated toward her belly, observing how much it had grown in the last few months.
It seemed like it had doubled in size before my very eyes, but I couldn’t help the smile on my face.
“Both of y’all sound like some haters right now. I’ve bought plenty of clothes for the two of you and I don’t hear any complaints, but y’all want to hate on my godson?”
“Oh, brother. You are absolutely ridiculous. This little boy is going to be a spoiled brat, and I’m sending his ass right to your house,” she sassed.
“You’ll be lucky if he spends any time over here when he gets older.
I’ve already started planning all of the trips we’re going on.
I want to take him to some football and basketball games, and then we’re gonna be hitting up all of the amusement parks in the summertime.
” I rambled on and on about all of the things I planned to do with baby Nate.
Jayla reached out to me a week after I came home from rehab.
When we met up, I immediately noticed her protruding belly.
When she confirmed that it was Pooh’s baby, I had a mixture of different feelings.
On one hand, I was excited to have a piece of him on Earth, but the other part of me was sad that he would never get to experience fatherhood.
Through counseling, I had been able to dissect my grief and find a healthy way to manage it.
There was no magical cure for grief and there damn sure wasn’t a time limit on it, but I was learning not to let it consume me.
Baby Nate was a reminder that I had so many things to live for, and it was important for me to keep myself and my mental health under control so that I could be there for him.
“All right, it’s all starting to come together now,” Juicy stated as she stood back and observed the room.
“I still need to set up an appointment with the painters so that he can get the mural finished before the baby gets here.” I had contracted a painter to do a mural of Pooh on one of the walls in baby Nate’s room.
He would not have the opportunity to meet his father, but I was going to make sure that he knew exactly who he was and how much he would have loved him.
“I know it’s gonna be beautiful. Thank y’all for all of your help. I was a little worried because my family isn’t that supportive, but you all have stepped up for me in a major way. Pooh always talked about how solid of a person you are and how you always had his back.
“I used to tease him because he talked about you like you were a celebrity. I understand it now. He was blessed to have people in his corner who truly loved him, and I’m grateful that my son will get to experience that love as well.
Thank you for accepting me and my son.” Jayla’s words almost brought tears to my eyes, but it wasn’t because I was sad.
As much as it hurt to lose Pooh, I was blessed to have him watching over me.
I was going to make sure that his family never wanted or needed for anything and that I had their backs the same way I had his.
We took Jayla out for dinner so I could make sure she fed my godson properly.
Juicy, Mama Lynn, and I all catered to Jayla during her pregnancy.
We wanted her to feel safe and supported as much as possible.
She had quickly become a little sister to me, and I laughed every time she called me when she was hungry.
It made me feel good that I could honor Pooh’s memory while also gaining additional family.
The moment we stepped inside our home, those raggedy sons of mine came barreling down the hall to greet their mother.
“Y’all really ain’t shit. I’m the one who feeds you, but you run straight to her,” I grumbled while taking off my shoes.
Honestly, it warmed my heart that Roscoe and Apollo loved Juicy the way that they did.
They protected her whenever I wasn’t home and that made me feel comfortable whenever I had to travel.
“Baby, it’s time for you to let this go. Our babies love you, but unfortunately, I’m the HBIC, and you need to accept it.” Juicy giggled as she removed her shoes and then headed down the hall. My eyes were glued to her ass as it jiggled from left to right.
“Where are you about to go?” I called out behind her.
“I’m going to take a shower so I can put on something sexy and fuck my fiancé.
I’m sleepy, and I need some dick before I go to bed.
” She waved her hand, showing off her new diamond ring.
I proposed to her the day I got out of rehab.
Some might have thought it was the wrong decision, but I didn’t care.
Juicy was a major part of why I even decided to get help.
She gave me a new purpose, and she motivated me to be a better man.
I wasn’t going to allow her to be with any other man, so I had to be the only man that she needed.
Rehab was rough, but she encouraged me through her letters.
She sent me scriptures and wrote out daily prayers for me.
My love for her grew even more because she didn’t leave me hanging in my darkest hour.
Instead, she lifted my head and reminded me who I was, and who I was destined to be.
It would never be another woman like her, so I had to make sure that she knew it was gonna be us forever.
“Fiancé. I like the sound of that, but I can’t wait to give your pretty ass my last name.” I followed behind her with Roscoe and Apollo trailing me. We were all obsessed with her at this point, and there was nothing any of us could do about it.
After we took a shower together, we made love for the rest of the night until we both grew tired. Juicy rested her head on my chest as she stroked my beard. For some reason that had become a comfort thing to her.
“You know I love you, right?” I asked the same question I asked every night.
“There is nothing in this world that I am more sure of.”
“I wanna give you the world one day. You bring so much joy and peace to my life, and all I wanna do is give that back to you,” I told her, leaning down to press my lips against her head.
She shifted her body so that her eyes were looking up at me.
I could see the love and admiration that she had for me resonating through her pretty brown eyes.
Shit like that was the motivation I needed to keep going every day.
“I don’t need you to give me the world because I already have it. Every day that I get to spend on this Earth loving you and being loved by you is heaven. You don’t need to give me anything else because you’ve given me the three greatest gifts of my life.”
I was confused for a moment as I wondered what she meant by three.
I knew damn well she wasn’t talking about those damn dogs, so I waited for her to clarify.
Juicy laughed when she saw the confused look on my face.
I watched as she turned toward the nightstand and rummaged through the drawer.
I sat up in bed to see what she was doing.
When she turned back over, she held a small piece of paper in her hand. It almost looked like a photo of something. Tears filled her eyes as she held it to her heart. My heart beat wildly as I tried to figure out what was going on.
“I know you already have to share me with Roscoe and Apollo, but I’m hoping you won’t mind sharing me with one more person.”
She wiped her tears as she handed me the little paper. My palms were sweaty as I held it up and observed the image in front of me. I recognized what it was right away, and my own tears formed.
“Are you serious right now?” I smiled through my tears as I continued to stare at the tiny blob on the paper. I’ve never seen something so beautiful in my life.
“Yes. I found out a couple days ago, but I wanted to wait for you to get back home. It looks like Zion is gonna be getting a baby brother or sister. That’s what I meant when I said three blessings.
You, Zion, and now this little angel. I was nervous about being pregnant again because of my past, but there’s no one else I’d rather do this with.
“You’re going to be an amazing father, and I’m so grateful that I get to watch and be a part of this journey with you.
You mean everything to me, and I’m so proud of you.
I know it wasn’t easy, but you faced your pain and you did the work.
I’m not expecting you to be perfect, but you are perfect for me and this family.
“You are everything that I would want in a husband and a father. I know that I am safe and that our children will be loved and happy. I promise that I will never leave you, and I will always remind you of how important you are to me. I’ll be here during your dark days to hold you and remind you of your purpose.
You are more than enough, and even with all your flaws, you’re still the greatest man I’ve ever met. Thank you for coming back to me.”
Juicy wiped the tears from my eyes as I held her tightly. I had never experienced a love this powerful in my life, but I knew I never wanted to let it go. The faith that she had in me made me want to work ten times harder to be everything that she believed I was.
“I can’t believe you got me crying in here like a bitch.” I laughed as I cleaned the remaining tears from my face. She was the only one I allowed to see this side of me, and I trusted her with every part of me.
“I already told you that I don’t care about that.
Tears or not, you’re still the greatest and the most dangerous gangsta around.
” She giggled as I placed kisses all over her face.
I knew life wouldn’t be perfect, but with her it would be worth all the ups and downs.
I made a vow right there that I would be the type of father my pops would be proud of.
I would be the man he raised me to be and instill the same values into my children that he poured into me as a child.
God had given me a second chance at life, and I wasn’t going to waste a single second of it.
There used to be a time where I thought there was nothing in my soul but darkness, but then she came and helped me find the light I never knew existed.
For that reason, I would never stop loving her.
She searched my soul and filled it with everything that was missing, and now I could finally say that I was whole.
THE END