Page 26 of Ruin (Hell’s Mayhem MC: Maine Chapter #2)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kolton

I stare up at the ceiling, the swaying trees casting shadows across it, thanks to the bright moon. I like leaving my curtains open because I don’t feel so trapped, like when they’re shut.

Midnight came and went hours ago, and I’m still lying here, thinking about life and how much I hate mine. What I could do to make it better and if it’s even worth it to do so.

Lucian isn’t with his wife anymore. I’ve repeated that in my head so many times it almost sounds funny. I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter that he isn’t with her anymore. What does matter is why they aren’t together anymore.

Did she leave him and that’s why he’s back here? Is this thing between us a rebound? Does he only want me now that his number one is gone? Am I all he can get because what he wants isn’t available anymore? That’s what Jeremy was to me. I refuse to be a Jeremy .

I glance at the clock. It’s almost four am.

There’s no way I’m getting to sleep now, but if this asshole can say something to me to make me stay up all night, then he doesn’t deserve to sleep either.

I get out of bed, get dressed, and head downstairs.

I don’t plan to be gone for long, so I don’t worry about letting Anastacia know.

I lock all the doors and set the alarm—my newest addition to the house.

I should have gotten one sooner, but I guess I didn’t care enough.

Now that I’m protecting two lives, it’s needed.

So I had cameras installed along the property, along with an alarm system.

The drive to Lucian’s takes less than ten minutes. I bang on his door like my life depends on it.

“Lucian! Open the fucking door!”

Bang, bang, bang!

I kick it, then shout some more. “Open the goddamn door!”

By the time he does open it, I’m breathless.

“What the hell, Kolton?” he hisses.

His hair is a mess, his eyes full of sleep. He’s in a grey T-shirt and plaid pajama pants.

“Why aren’t you with Beth anymore?” I ask, still panting.

“What?” he asks.

“Why the fuck aren’t you with Beth anymore?” I growl.

“That’s what your problem is right now? It’s four in the morning.”

I huff out a laugh, shaking my head. “I should have known you wouldn’t give me an answer. ”

I turn and hurry down the stairs, not sure where I’m going or what I’m doing. I don’t even know why I came here.

Because I’m out of control, that’s why. Because when I feel things, I can’t control my reactions.

“Kolton!” he snaps in a familiar stern tone. I stop, chest still heaving. I hear him come down the steps, and then he’s standing in front of me. He holds my gaze and says, “I wasn’t happy.”

“You weren’t happy for years.”

“It got worse.”

“How much worse?”

He throws his arms up. “I don’t know, Kolton. Terrible? We were strangers living under the same roof.”

“Why, all of a sudden, did you leave?”

“Maybe I should ask why this is so important.”

“I just… need to know.” I swallow hard. “Please, Lucian.”

I’m tired. So fucking tired. I’ve slept like shit for days and I haven’t slept at all tonight.

There’s so much bullshit going on in my life that I can’t focus on anything, I can’t sleep, and I’m just fucking miserable.

Maybe if I have an answer to something, it’ll be enough that I can just get a moment of peace and fall asleep.

“I woke up one day and realized that I didn’t want to die unhappy.”

“Just suddenly? You expect me to believe that.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Why are you here?”

“I told you why. ”

I step toward him, our chests brush. He’s so warm. He smells so fucking good.

“I don’t believe you,” I hiss.

“What can I do to change that?” he asks gently.

I don’t say anything. I can’t. I hate when words are hard all the time, but I especially hate it with him. I want him to know everything that I’m feeling, and I hate when I can’t tell him. I hate when he doesn’t just know.

His fingers brush along my side. “Kolton,” he whispers. “What can I do?”

I blink, willing away the tears that fill my eyes.

“My sweet boy…”

“Don’t do that,” I choke out, stepping back and out of his touch. I miss it immediately, and hate that I do. He looks upset again, his face pained, like I’ve slapped him. “You can’t say things like that. You can’t just go back to how it was. Things are very different.”

“I know that.”

“I don’t think you do, Lucian. I think you came here hoping to jump into the past. Hoping to pretend it’s fifteen years ago and I’m just some sad little broken boy that you can tug along on a string.”

“I never thought that about you,” he snaps. “Never. I’ve always been the one who knew you were strong, Kolton. I’m the one who believed in you.”

“And I believed in you too. Until you fucking destroyed me.”

I shove past him to get to my truck .

“Hey!” he shouts, coming after me and grabbing my arm. “You’re not walking away from this conversation.”

I yank my arm out of his grip.

“Watch me.” I pull open my door, but with more strength than I thought he had, he slams it shut and shoves me out of the way. He glares at me.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I still love you.

And I wasn’t lying when I said I would spend my life fixing what I broke.

I fucked up, Kolton. And I know you’ve been living with a broken heart, but so have I, and I’m the only one to blame for it.

How do you think that makes me feel? Knowing I’m the one who not only destroyed you, but myself too? ”

“I don’t think it bothers you at all.”

His jaw clenches. “Is that so?” he seethes, stepping closer to me. “You think I don’t care about you? About us?”

“I know you don’t,” I spit back at him, but my voice barely has any heat to it at all.

My heart is pounding, my mouth dry. I don’t really know what’s going on here, but my body is reacting in a very strange way. It’s… confusing.

“You know what I think?” he asks, getting right in my face.

So close his nose brushes mine. “I think you’re a fucking liar.

You’re nothing but a brat looking to be put in his place, isn’t that right, Kolton?

” I grit my teeth, refusing to answer him.

“Because I bet if I told you to get on your knees for me and suck my cock, you’d do it. ”

“Fuck you,” I growl .

He grins. “You want to?” he taunts. “No one has been inside me since you, you know.”

“Fuck you!” I shout, shoving him again. He stumbles back, but comes right back to me.

“I don’t think you really want that though.

I think what you need is to be fucked.” His fingers slide into the front of my jeans, grasping them and pulling me to him.

“So hard and so fast that you forget your own fucking name.” His nose brushes mine again, his lips so close I swear I can taste them.

“Has anyone been inside you since me, Kolton?”

I clench my jaw tight, not wanting to give him an answer. He doesn’t deserve that.

He laughs huskily.

“I miss your pretty little hole you know. I think about it all the time.” He grinds his hips against me. “I’ve jerked off every night since I’ve been here, thinking about your tight hole wrapped around my cock.”

“Shut up,” I say, but my words are so weak it’s laughable.

“How much longer do you want me to wait for you, Kolton? Should I be waiting at all?” His lips press to my neck, dragging his nose along the column of my throat. “Or should I just take what I want?”

I don’t answer him. I can’t. I’m embarrassed of what I want. I’m an idiot for wanting it. I’m too weak to tell him to stop and too ashamed to ask him to keep going. I want nothing more than for him to take what he wants, even if I tell him no .

He flicks open the button of my jeans, pulling back to stare into my eyes. He unzips the zipper slowly, then slides his hand inside and grasps my cock. He groans when he finds me hard.

“My sweet boy is always so hard for me, even after all this time?”

“Yes.”

I finally manage to find my voice, and of course now’s the time.

Lucian grabs my hip and spins me around, using all his weight to shove me against the hood of my truck. The summer breeze is cool on my bare skin when he shoves my pants down. I groan when he spreads me open and gasp when his hot tongue is on my hole.

“Fuck!” I shout, slamming my fist against the hood.

I hate how much I’ve missed this. I hate how good it feels.

He laps at my hole for only a few seconds before he pulls away. The whimper that escapes me is fucking embarrassing, but then I feel his dick pressing into me.

“Tell me to stop now. It’s your only chance.”

He’s never fucked me bare before. Never. Not once in the seven years we were together.

“Kolton—”

“Stop treating me like a fucking piece of glass!” I growl, slamming both hands against the truck.

I regret my words immediately, when he rams his cock inside me. I think I black out because the pain is so fucking bad. But when I come to, he’s moaning, his hands tight on my hips .

It hurts so bad, but this is the hurt I remember. This is the hurt that I crave. The kind that is going to have me sore for days, that will remind me I’m alive and that Lucian loves me. It’s the best kind of torture.

He fucks me hard and fast, just as he promised. Each thrust is more painful than the last, but all I can do is smile because nothing has ever felt so good. Lucian tangles his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back.

“Is this what you wanted, you little slut? You wanted me to take you without permission? You needed me to show you how fucking badly I want you? So bad that I don’t fucking care if you tell me no?”

I smile as I stare into the night sky, the moon above us bright and full.

“Tell me I’m yours,” I say.

He laughs, grinding into me. “You are mine, Kolton. You always have been, and you always will be. Whether you like it or not.” He pulls out and slams back in before latching onto my neck and sucking my skin.

“I’ve missed this tight ass. I’m going to fill it with my cum.”

“Fuck yes,” I groan.

His hand falls from my hair and presses between my shoulder blades, shoving me forward and thrusting into me harder.

“This is my ass, and I’ll take it whenever I want it, do you understand?”

I whimper and it earns me a hard smack on my ass.

“I said, do you understand? ”

“Yes!” I shout.

“This isn’t a heat of the moment thing,” he growls. “I won’t change my mind tomorrow.”

“Neither will I,” I say.

He kicks my legs apart, needing them wider, and somehow goes ever deeper. I moan loudly, my body starting to shake as that familiar feeling settles in my balls.

“You better not,” he says through clenched teeth. “I need this, Kolton. Do not take it away from me. Fuck!”

He stills, his dick pulsing inside me. He moans, and I moan too because the whole thing is just so fucking hot.

His forehead presses to the nape of my neck, his breath hot on my skin.

We stay like that for long moments before he steps away, his cock slipping free of my body.

His hand is at my hole, wiping me up, and then his arm comes around my waist to pull me back so I’m flush against his chest. His hand wraps around my dick, warm and wet— full of his cum.

“This is the one and only time I will allow you to waste this,” he says.

I groan, resting my head on his shoulder.

Goosebumps break out over my skin, and warmth trails up my spine.

My dick threatens to explode, but I just want this to last a little longer.

I just want to revel in him touching me like this, in knowing that he’s mine again, if only for a moment, if only for this night.

All of this could be for nothing. Hell, it probably is.

Nothing tells me I should believe him. But I want to. Just for right now .

“Give me what I want, Kolton.”

My fingernails dig into his strong forearm as he jerks me off, the scent of his cum filling my nose. My mouth waters and my hole aches, wanting to be filled again but knowing it’s a bad idea. I’m probably already bleeding from how rough he was.

“Come on, sweet boy,” he whispers in my ear. “Give me what I want.”

His firm words send me over the edge, and I fill his hand, his arm around my waist the only thing holding me up.

“That’s a good boy,” he says as he works me through my orgasm. “It feels so good, doesn’t it?”

My grunts fill the air as I come harder than I have in a long time.

Lucian kisses my shoulder, letting his lips linger there for a long moment before stepping away from me. It feels like a dismissal, and I don’t like it, but it’s enough for the cold bucket of water to drop over my head and send me back to reality.

My cheeks burn as I pull my pants up and button them.

“Do you want to come inside?” he asks.

I scoff. “Fuck off, Lucian.”

I reach for my door handle, but Lucian grabs my wrist.

“Don’t do this, Kolton,” he says. “Please.”

I pull my arm from him. “I didn’t do this. You did.”

When I open my door this time, he lets me.