Page 10 of Ruin (Hell’s Mayhem MC: Maine Chapter #2)

Chapter Nine

Kolton

I pull into the lot of the park and shut my car off.

I rest my head back, wondering what the fuck I’m doing.

I knew this was stupid before I did it, yet, I did it anyway.

I’m here and don’t plan on leaving until I talk to him.

I don’t know what part of my brain is driving me right now, but it’s dangerous.

The ride here took forever, and I considered turning around a minimum of fifty times.

But then I reminded myself that I’m not doing it for me, and that’s what kept me going.

This will be a short transaction. I tell him I want the money.

He gives it to me. Done. That’s it. I’ll never ask him for a thing again.

He pulls into the lot a few moments after me, and my stomach drops, my mind going to all the times I met him here in the middle of the night without a single other soul knowing. It was our spot. Everything happened here. All of our firsts. Right here, in this parking lot .

I shake the thoughts from my head when I hear a car door shut.

I see him standing outside of his car, hands shoved in his pockets.

I hate that I can see the outline of his cock from here.

He’s a big man with a big dick, and I was such a slut for it.

But that’s not me anymore. That’s not what I’m here for.

I leave the headlights on so we can see, but I shut the engine off and get out, holding my head high as I walk around the truck to reach him.

At least in the shadow of the night I can hide a little.

Maybe he won’t see the weakness I feel. I should have waited until tomorrow to do this, when I was more put together and not still half drunk. Nothing good happens when I’m drunk.

“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” I comment.

“You told me to be here.”

That’s always how it was. One of us said jump, and the other did it. Though, it was mostly one sided. It was mostly me waiting for him to tell me what to do. I was like a dog waiting for scraps, any he was willing to give me. I took them all. I was greedy for them.

Too many times when I asked, I got excuses.

Beth is home, I can’t get away. Beth isn’t feeling well. Beth is mad. Beth wants me to stay in tonight.

Beth, Beth, Beth.

His number one. His priority.

What would she say if she knew her husband liked fucking someone twenty years younger than him in the ass? Doubt she’d approve, which is, of course, why I was always his dirty little secret.

Eventually, I stopped asking him for things and learned to accept what I was given.

I bite back the words that I really want to say.

If only you were here that night.

But that doesn’t matter. That isn’t my life anymore. He isn’t in my life, and he never will be again.

“What am I doing here, Kolton?” he asks, his voice soft and smooth. Calm.

Always so fucking calm.

“I need money.”

His eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting that. Good. I get slight satisfaction over throwing him off his game. I have no idea what he was expecting when coming here if he didn’t think I would ask for money. Surely he can’t think I want to get together with him. That’s absurd.

“You need money?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask what for?”

Interesting that he wants to know what it’s for and not how much. Is what it’s for more important than the amount?

“Does it matter?”

“I’m betting you didn’t call me here to ask for twenty dollars, Kolton. I’m sure it’s a substantial amount. So, yes, it matters.”

Fuck him for knowing me so well. Too fucking well.

“What if it is only twenty dollars? ”

“Stop being cute, Kolton.”

He used to like when I was cute.

“What if it was only twenty dollars?” I ask again, this time slower and more stern. I want to know the answer.

Lucian reaches into his back pocket, pulls out his wallet, then slips out a twenty and offers it over.

“Here. Take it.” He flicks his wrist, gesturing for me to take it, and because I’m an idiot, I do. He folds his wallet back up and shoves it into his pocket. “Is that all you need?”

No. I need so much fucking more. But I won’t ask because you fucking destroyed me.

But all that I say is, “No.” He holds my gaze, waiting for me to continue. “I need seventeen thousand, nine hundred and eighty more.”

A humored smile crosses his face slowly. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Do you think I’d torture myself for a game, Lucian?” I spit out.

His smile falls. He clears his throat. “I suppose not. What is the money for?”

Just tell him, Kolton. Just fucking tell him what it’s for and he’ll hand it over and you can go home.

But I can’t. I won’t.

I just need to know…

I need to fucking know that I have some control.

I need to know that I can have the upper hand, even after all this time, even when I mean nothing to him and he means nothing to me.

I just need to know that I can make him do something, that he will do something for me.

That I hold a little bit of power when it comes to Lucian Carter.

We stand there in a stand-off, like in an old western movie.

I have no idea who is going to move first, who will speak first, if any.

We’re both stubborn and we could be here until the sun comes up.

But he moves quicker than I expect him to.

He turns and goes back to his car, opening the door, and my stomach drops because he’s leaving.

But that lasts only a moment before rage fills me. Blinding rage that has me seeing red.

He’s fucking leaving.

Only, he doesn’t get into his car. He leans in and digs around for something. He comes out a moment later with something in his hand. He moves closer to me, stopping a foot away. All I can smell is him. That scent that is uniquely him. Like bourbon and musk.

“Take it.”

I look down to where his hand is held out. The check is flapping in the soft breeze. The only thing written on it is his signature.

“Take the fucking check, Kolton,” he snaps, his anger clear.

I snatch it from his grasp, fold it, and shove it into my back pocket, trying to hide my shaking hands.

I should leave now. I should tell him to go fuck himself and accidentally run him over with my truck on the way out.

But all I do is stand there, caught in his stormy gaze.

There’s something about this place that haunts me.

All the memories of him and me together.

All the dreams I dreamt. All the wishes I made.

All the pleas I whispered into the dark.

All the promises he made. There’s a mountain of lies, right here in the parking lot. How can one place hold so much?

Lucian steps forward, so close I feel his body heat.

He raises his hand to my cheek. “My sweet—”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” I slap his hand away, and he drops it to his side, holding my gaze. At least he has the decency to not look offended this time. I may have punched him.

My body vibrates with rage.

I point a finger in his face, my breathing ragged. “You do not get to do that.” He doesn’t answer. “Doing this does not mean we’re going back to that.”

He nods once. “I understand.”

“I don’t fucking think you do, Lucian. I mean it. I want nothing to do with you.”

He nods again. “I hope whatever you need it for gets handled.” He takes a step back. “Have a good night, Kolton.”

He gets into his car and he drives off, leaving me alone.

Just like last time.