Page 21 of Ruin (Hell’s Mayhem MC: Maine Chapter #2)
Chapter Twenty
Kolton
Lucian’s gaze burns into my back like the sun’s hot rays as I walk away.
He always had this way of looking at me.
I always felt wrapped in his protection when I was under his gaze.
I hate that after all this time, nothing’s changed.
If something had, if I felt differently, this wouldn’t be so goddamn hard.
“What’s going on, Kolton?” Kaison asks. He’s the only one who stayed behind to help me.
The others were pulled off by Coyote, the fucking prick.
Said I shouldn’t be worrying about the girl because she isn’t our fucking problem.
I should have left her there to die. I opened my mouth to explain she was pregnant, but he didn’t want to hear it.
“I need a place to take her.”
He shakes his head. “You know what Prez said.”
I step closer to him, keeping my voice low. “Fuck Prez,” I growl.
His brows raise and a humored smile crosses his face .
“He won’t let us use a safe house for her, Kolt. You know this.”
“Then let her stay with you.”
“Fuck you. You found her. You take her.”
“No fucking way.”
He raises a brow at me. “No? You gonna let her sleep on the street?”
“Of course not.”
“Maybe Lucian will take her?” he says suggestively.
“Don’t fucking do that.”
“Do what?” he asks innocently.
“That,” I growl. “Don’t make me be a go-between for him just because you think I can make him my puppet.”
“Can’t you?”
“I don’t fucking want to!” I shout.
Kaison just blinks at me. “I have enough shit going on, Kolt. I can’t take this girl into my house. Cora hasn’t been there for long. We’re figuring shit out.”
Right. Kaison’s new girlfriend. Forgot about her.
“Fine. I’ll figure it out.”
I turn to walk away, but he grabs my arm.
“Is he the reason?” Kaison asks.
“Reason for what?” I spit out, having no idea what he’s talking about.
I hate that Kaison always wants to talk. I hate that he always asks me questions, like he wants to get to know me, like he actually cares. Why is he like this all of a sudden ?
“The reason you fell apart all those years ago.”
That shocks me hard enough that I see the recognition in his eyes. But I quickly steel my face. I scoff and shake my head. Then I walk out the door.
Lucian is leaning against his car. It’s running with the windows closed, so I assume the air conditioner is on. It’s hot out. And a flash of heat runs through my body when I see the way his shirt sleeves hug his strong biceps, that has nothing to do with the weather.
The years have been good to him. Somehow, he’s even hotter than he was back then.
“Where am I taking her?” he asks once I reach him.
“To your house.”
He huffs out a laugh. “No, Kolton, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
His eyes narrow. “I’m fine giving you money and running to you for help to make up for what I did, but I already said I will not be your bitch boy.”
I grit my teeth, hating that I have no response to that.
Hating that I don’t want to fight him on it.
I just want to submit and fucking give in because that’s when things are easy.
I want him to take the reins, to take control, tell me what to do.
To let my mind be quiet for just five fucking minutes.
When I don’t say anything, he sighs, pushing off his car and coming to stand closer .
“I’m doing a lot of work in the house. It’s messy and dirty, and dusty. It won’t be good for her or the baby. She needs a clean, safe, and quiet place. That’s why she can’t come with me.”
I know what he’s suggesting. It’s the same thing Kaison said. I hate people in my house. Especially in places I haven’t already made peace with people being. I can’t tell her to stay in the living room and not go anywhere else, that’s crazy.
When Jeremy came over, he knew the living room was as far as he would go. He walked through the kitchen, the hallway, and the living room. Sometimes he would use the bathroom downstairs, off the kitchen, but that’s it. Not once did he ever see my bedroom or any other part of my house.
My brother has been over a handful of times, and I only let him look around once. I cleaned the entire thing three times after he left.
“I can’t let someone into my house,” I say, hoping he just gets it.
His face softens. “I know it’ll be hard for you, but it’s the right thing to do. She needs you, Kolton. You saved her, and now you need to see this through.”
I flick my gaze to hers through the window. It’s easier to put my walls up and not care about her. She’s just another person.
But the baby…
It belongs to the Iron Runners, and they’re going to want her and it back.
She won’t be safe, not unless someone keeps her safe.
Which is why a hotel or motel is out of the question.
We don’t have ties anywhere else and I don’t know anyone outside of this godforsaken town, so I can’t ask for a favor from a friend across the country.
She’s well and truly my problem now.
“I will swing by to check on her. I’ll be a phone call away if you need something.”
I hear his words but don’t take my attention off Anastacia.
This is partially my fault. She’s in pain because of me.
Sure, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to stumble into the desk and make her fall over.
Thankfully, the baby is fine. But it may not stay that way if she doesn’t have someone helping her.
Glancing back at Lucian, I say, “Fine. I’ll meet you there.”
“You can ride with me,” he says firmly.
I smirk. “I need to take my bike.”
He smiles back, then he gets into the car, and I hop on my bike. I take off first, feeling him following behind me.
This is a mistake. I already know that. But making mistakes is what I do best. Maybe one day I’ll learn how to crawl out of the hole instead of making it deeper. For now, I’m going to make the best out of what I know.
It takes everything in me to stay calm as we get Anastacia into my house.
All I can think about is cleaning everything, but I probably have to buy new cleaning products because I’ve heard there are some that aren’t good for pregnant people.
I’m sure none of what I have or what I can get are actually good for her, because they aren’t good for anyone, meaning I’m going to have to take it easy.
This is going to be a disaster.
I have nothing here for her, and have no idea how I’m going to get any of that stuff, outside of buying it for her. I have the money, so that’s not an issue, but what the fuck does a pregnant woman need?
Lucian and I help her up the stairs and into the bedroom down the hall from mine. It’s the only other one in the house with an attached bathroom. I figure she’ll appreciate that, and it’ll keep her more contained to her own space.
“Are you okay?” Lucian asks Anastacia in a tone that tells you he’s a father and a doctor—that he actually cares about people. Except the ones who matter, it seems.
“Just tired,” she says.
“Are you okay to shower alone?” Lucian asks.
She smiles. “Yes, I’ll be okay. I’m feeling much better now.”
I glance at her clothes. They’re disgusting.
She can not put those dirty things back on.
I go to my room and dig around in my drawers for a T-shirt, sweatpants, and socks.
They’ll be big on her, but at least they’re clean.
I grab an extra bar of soap from the closet in my bathroom, too.
It’ll have to do until I can get her some things of her own .
I bring everything to her bathroom and leave it on the counter.
“Take your time,” I say. “We’ll be downstairs when you’re finished.”
“I think I’ll sleep, if that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay,” Lucian adds with a smile. “If you need anything, just shout.”
We leave her alone, and I hurry down the hall and stairs to my living room, ready for him to be out of my space.
“I’ll pick up some things for her and drop them off in a little while. Do you have food here?” he asks.
I don’t answer, just hold his gaze. This is too much. I don’t know how I’m going to handle living with this girl, even if it’s temporary.
“I’ll bring groceries too, then.”
He steps closer to me, and I suck in a breath, both hating and loving the way he looks at me.
“Is there anything else you need, Kolton?” he asks, and I swear I hear the suggestive undertone.
Yes, I want to say. You.
I need you to handle all of this, because I can’t.
But “No,” is what comes out of my mouth.
“How long has this been a problem for you?” he asks. My brow furrows, not sure what he’s asking. “Having people in your house?”
“I’m fine,” I say, even though it’s a lie .
“No, you’re not,” he answers. “I can see the anxiety written all over your face. You don’t want people in your space. Even when it comes to your things, you don’t want to let people in.”
“Can you blame me?” I ask, holding my head high.
He gives me a sad smile. “No, Kolton. I don’t blame you. Not one single bit.”
When he leaves, I get to cleaning.