Page 78

Haven

When I wake, it takes me a solid minute to blink away my disorientation. There are two warm bodies pressed against mine instead of one, and I’m not in Isaiah’s house anymore. I’m…

I’m home.

Relief washes over me, and a moment later, I realize Xander is staring down at me with a tired smile.

“Morning,” he whispers.

I’m still wrapped around him, and now, I tighten my hold on him. “Xan.”

He chuckles. “Not going anywhere, doll.”

“Neither of us are,” Lucas says reassuringly from behind me.

“Luc.” Releasing Xander, I turn until I’m facing Lucas.

He grins. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I nuzzle his chest and breathe him in.

Safe. I’m safe.

We’re in Colton’s room, cozy under his soft purple comforter. His black curtains are pulled shut even though he typically keeps them open. He must’ve done that when he came to bed last night.

Pushing myself up, I first look behind Lucas, and then behind Xander, but we’re the only ones in bed.

“Where’s Colt?” I can’t hide the panic in my voice. If something happened to him while we were sleeping—

“He’s downstairs,” Xander says calmly. “He got a few hours of sleep, but then he had to deal with some work stuff.”

My heart sinks. “Oh.”

Lucas kisses the top of my head. “He didn’t want to wake you.”

“I wish he had,” I mumble.

“You needed to sleep, little fawn.”

“I—”

He gives me a challenging look, and I sigh. He’s right. I barely got any sleep at Cornerstone—not when Isaiah kept me trapped against him all night.

An involuntary whimper escapes me, and I fold in on myself. My knees end up tucked underneath my chin, and I wrap my arms around my legs.

“Hey, hey.” Lucas sits up. “You’re okay. Colton is here. You can go see him right now if you want.”

“No, I—” I gulp in air. “Isaiah… he kept me close to him all night, and any time I tried to get away, he’d just yank me back. I was so scared, and I couldn’t sleep, and in the morning, he—” With a sob, I hide my face. I can’t go on.

“Shit,” Xander whispers. His arms encircle me, and then Lucas’s big body engulfs both of us. “I’m so sorry, Haven.”

“It hurt,” I cry. “And I begged him to stop, but he just didn’t care. He never cared.”

“He’s never touching you again,” Lucas says, but we all know it doesn’t mean anything right now. It doesn’t change the fact that Isaiah got his hands on me.

“Please promise you won’t leave me alone again. Please, I can’t—I can’t go back there.”

“Promise,” Xander says, his voice thick. “I promise, Haven.”

That only makes me cry harder, because I know he means it. None of them meant for me to get hurt. I may have been the one who got kidnapped, but I know how terrified they were for me.

The bed dips, and I look up to see a blur of blond hair and green eyes.

“Colt?” I whisper.

“C’mere, angel.”

Lucas and Xander let me go so I can crawl into Colton’s lap. He’s showered since last night because his cedarwood and lemon scent is back. I curl up into him while he gently rocks me back and forth.

“You done?” Xander asks quietly.

“No. Heard her crying.”

I clutch at Colton’s shirt as I gasp, trying to get enough air. “Don’t… please don’t go. I know you have work to do, but—”

“I’m going to be wherever you need me to be,” Colton says firmly. “You’re my priority, you hear me?”

Xander takes my free hand and kisses my knuckles. “Same with me and Luc.”

“You don’t have to worry,” Lucas adds as he strokes my hair.

Only with all three of them touching me does the feeling of Isaiah’s body on mine fully vanish. Calmness descends on me, slowly spreading through my body. My breathing slows, and I let myself close my eyes for a few minutes.

None of them rush me. There’s no talk about my duties or what my place is or God’s will for disobedient women. Just soft, patient touches from three men who’ve broken my heart, only to heal it. And now, they’ve vowed to protect me no matter what.

Sometime after my tears have dried, hunger gnaws at my stomach. I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning, and even then, I could only choke a few bites down.

“Breakfast?” I ask tiredly.

Xander chuckles. “Considering what time it is, I think it’d be lunch, but that sounds like a good idea. Just a heads up, my family is downstairs, and Rachel will probably pounce on you the second she sees you.”

The thought makes me wince. My body is still sore from Isaiah taking out his anger on me. Falling down the stairs last night didn’t help, either.

With a grimace, Xander squeezes my hand. “I’ll tell her to be gentle.”

It hurts, knowing that Rachel will have to tamp down her enthusiasm. I love how energetic she is. Phil is obviously an amazing father because she never seems to feel the need to hide her emotions.

Colton shifts. “All right, you guys need to get dressed and all, so—”

With a panicked sound, I grab on to him. “Don’t leave, please.”

“I’m staying with you,” he says, amused. “Just promised you I would, angel.”

“Right,” I mumble.

I have to force myself to let go of him so I can go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Once I’m done, I do my hair the way I have over the past couple of days, braiding as many of the shorter tufts of hair as I can and pinning the rest down.

When I step out of the bathroom, Xander and Lucas are just returning, having brushed their teeth and gotten dressed in their room.

“Ready?” Colton asks.

I nod. I’m not, but I’m too hungry to stay up here for much longer.

Colton picks me up, saying something about me needing to stay off my feet. And while that is was Cal ordered, I think he’d do it anyway. I’m not the only one who needs closeness right now.

“But they’ve been asleep for forever,” she’s complaining.

“They need it,” Phil reminds her. “They got in late last night.”

“What’s this I hear?” Xander calls. “Is the girl who sleeps through all three of her alarms really complaining about me sleeping in after a long road trip?”

“Xander!” Rachel exclaims. She dashes toward us and leaps into Xander’s arms the second he’s off the steps. “You’re back!”

“Told you I would be, silly. And look who we brought.”

Rachel gasps when she sees me. “Haven!”

“Be gentle with her, okay? She’s injured.”

Colton sets me down at the base of the stairs. With a grin, I open my arms and hug Rachel once she’s in reach. She squeezes me, and I let out a sharp, pained breath.

“Rach.” Xander pulls her back. “I said gentle.”

“Sorry,” Rachel says bashfully. “Sometimes I just get too excited.”

“That’s okay.” I smile and run my fingers through her hair. “I like that about you.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm. Reminds me of my little sister.”

“You have a little sister? How old is she?”

“I have two, actually,” Haven replies with a smile. “One who’s your age, and one who’s a few years younger.”

“Can I meet them?”

The guys exchange panicked looks, and I realize my face must’ve fallen. Lucas immediately steps in and tugs on Rachel’s hair.

“Wanna help me make breakfast?”

“Breakfast? It’s after one!”

Lucas gives her a flat look. “Do you want waffles with chocolate sauce or not, little miss?”

“Waffles! Definitely waffles!”

As Rachel follows Lucas into the kitchen, I blink back my tears. There’ll be plenty of crying later. Right now, I just want to bask in the fact that I’m back home.

“How much does she know?” I ask.

“Not much,” Xander says. “Just that you were taken, really. Dad knows everything, though.”

Two things hit me at once. First, that Phil made it to the graduation ceremony—something we didn’t think was going to happen. And second, that Xander abandoned them immediately to chase after me.

“Xan—”

“It’s okay,” he says, but there’s an undercurrent of pain to his words. “They understood.”

“Still—”

“No.” Xander leaves a lingering kiss on my forehead. “The only thing that mattered to me was getting you back.”

The guilt in his eyes tells me otherwise, but I’ll leave that for another time.

“Up,” Colton says softly as he lifts me into his arms again. “You wanna sit at the counter?”

“Yes, please.”

Xander pulls out one of the stools, and Colton lowers me onto it. They both step away, and that panicky feeling comes back until they stop a few feet away. Colton is saying something to Xander that I can’t make out, and given the look on Xan’s face, it’s not a pleasant topic.

“Tonight?” he asks.

“Probably for the best,” Colton says.

Xander’s Aunt Josie is sitting at the table, and one of the chairs is pushed aside to make room for Phil’s wheelchair. Phil is watching me with his brows furrowed in concern, but when I glance his way, he quickly puts on a bright smile and waves.

“Glad you’re home, Haven,” he tells me.

“Thank you.” I turn so I’m facing him. “How, um… how are you doing?”

“Better every day. Been doing my physical therapy exercises while I’ve been here. Should be back on my feet by the end of summer.”

Phil’s statement is hopeful. Happy. Yet it sets off a chain reaction in my head that has my chest tightening to a painful point.

Pregnant by the end of summer.

You have your duties, and I have mine.

May God’s will be done.

God’s will.

God’s will.

God’s will.

“Haven?”

I jump so hard I almost fall off the stool, but Xander is already right in front of me with his hands on my waist. With a terrified sound, I grab onto his shirt. He keeps me steady as I regain my senses, and I go still when I realize everyone is watching me.

“Hey.” Xander ducks down so he’s at eye level. “You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil says. “I didn’t mean to make you freeze like that, Haven.”

“No, it—it wasn’t you. I…”

But I can’t speak. It feels like my throat is closing up. I can barely get a breath in, let alone get words out.

A cold feeling hits my chest, and when I look down, I realize Colton is holding an ice pack to me. His body shields me from the view of everyone at the table, but it doesn’t make it any easier to get in a deep breath.

“There’s too many people in here,” Colton mutters to Xander.

Xander doesn’t say anything, but his eyes dart to the table for a split second.

“I’ve got her,” Colton says. “You need to be with your dad. I’ll get her out of here.”

“N-no.” I grab at Xander, and I frantically search the room until I find Lucas.

“Just going to the living room,” Colton tells me in a soothing voice. “You’ll still be able to see them.”

I want to tell him that it’s not about me being able to see Lucas and Xander. It’s about them being able to see me. Even with Isaiah dead, it’s the only way I feel safe.

“You’ll be okay, doll. Just go with Colton.”

Reluctantly, I release Xander and let Colton pick me up. He carries me to the couch and carefully sets me down. As he situates us so I’m in his lap, embarrassment creeps into my mind. I can’t even carry a normal fucking conversation without having a panic attack.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Stop,” Colton says softly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I—I shouldn’t—”

“Shh. Try to relax for me. Put your head on my chest. Yeah, that’s good. Now focus on my heartbeat. Can you do that?”

I nod.

“Good girl,” he says quietly.

For a few minutes, we stay like that, and I focus on Lucas distracting Rachel and her sweet, innocent giggles. The smell of waffles wafts over, and then Lucas brings two plates to the living room and sets them on the coffee table.

Kneeling in front of me, Lucas runs a hand over my hair. “You still hungry, little fawn?”

“I…”

“I put chocolate sauce and strawberries on top, just the way you like.”

Oh. That actually does sound nice.

“Thank you,” I mumble as I sit up.

“Of course.” Lucas’s lips feather across my forehead, and then he moves back to the kitchen.

I eat the waffles slowly, glancing over when I notice Colton on his phone. Guilt washes over me. “Do you have work to do?”

“No. I took care of all the urgent things this morning, and Charlotte is handling the rest for me.”

“Then what—”

“I was asking Cal to bring Athelia over, that’s all.”

Athelia. She’ll understand how I’m feeling. It’s not that the guys don’t, but with Thelia, she knows everything I can’t say.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

Despite the inconvenience, Colton keeps me in his lap while we eat. Athelia shows up just as we finish. The moment she sees me, she drops her bag and rushes over.

“Haven.”

I slip off Colton’s lap and stumble into Athelia. The second her arms encircle me, I break. My sobs echo off the living room’s tall ceilings, and I barely notice Colton guiding both of us to the couch. We end up lying down with my face buried in her neck and her arms clutching me to her, keeping me together.

“I’m so sorry, Haven,” Athelia says softly. “Just let it all out.”

The part of me that feels bad for crying so loudly with everyone in the other room fades. It feels like I’m drowning in a sea of sorrow, not just because of Isaiah, but because of Ruth, because of Jeremiah, because of Esther and the rest of my siblings. The people I care about are still helplessly trapped, and I can’t do anything about it.

I think I was wrong yesterday. Even if I never go back home again, it was naive of me to believe I was free. Cornerstone still has its long, jagged claws in me, and I think it always will.