Page 58

Lucas

Phil wakes up after two long, quiet days in the hospital. Xander has barely left his side, and since Rachel got discharged, she panics every time Xander leaves her line of sight. It’s packed in the hospital room, but as long as we’re quiet, the hospital staff said they’ll ignore their one-visitor-only policy.

It’s looking like it’ll take Phil months to recover, and even then, he’ll probably have to walk with a cane. Rachel will be fine, though. Well, as long as she follows her discharge orders.

“But I don’t want to go on a walk,” Rachel protests.

Bob—Josie’s husband—sighs. “The doctor was very clear on his instructions, honey. Walking will help stimulate your digestive system.”

“I don’t want to leave him!”

“Hey,” Phil says weakly. “I’m not going anywhere. Couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

Rachel sniffles. “But Daddy—”

“Go.” His smile is pained but patient. “Just fifteen minutes, okay? Maybe Xander will get you some of that boba you like.”

Xander looks up. “What?”

“Yeah,” I say, cutting him a hard look. “You two can take a quick trip down the street, and then you’ll be right back, okay?”

Rachel looks like she wants to protest, but that’s the thing about being twelve. Sometimes, you don’t have a choice.

“All right,” she says dejectedly.

I know Xander doesn’t want to leave Phil, but he needs to get out of the hospital. He hasn’t been out in the sun since we got here. Hell, the only time he’s outside is when we’re leaving to go home for the night or when we’re on our way back.

He doesn’t protest, though. He knows if he wants Rachel to get out and walk, then he has to lead by example. That’s the thing about Xander. He’ll always put his family’s wellbeing above his own.

Once they’re gone, Phil clears his throat. “Luc.”

I move in closer so he doesn’t have to project his voice. “You need something?”

Slowly, he nods. “I need you to take Rachel and Xander home.”

“What?” I glance at my phone. “Phil, it’s barely three. There’s plenty of visiting time left.”

He shakes his head. “Rachel needs some normalcy, and I can’t keep this up.”

Oh. Just in the minute since Rachel and Xan have left, Phil has gone from looking mildly tired to downright miserable. He’s putting on an act for her, and it must be exhausting.

“You can sleep,” I tell him. “We told you we understand.”

“I know you three do,” Phil says hoarsely, “but Rachel is scared enough as it is. Get her out of here. Please.”

“He’s right,” Bob says. “I’ll hold down the fort here. Josie is already over there doing laundry for you all, and she said she was going to make dinner while she’s over there. It’ll be good for Rachel to have a home-cooked meal. She probably needs a nap, too.”

“Xander isn’t going to want to leave you,” I warn.

“He knows he needs to prioritize his sister.”

“All right.” Uncle Bob stands and pats Phil’s arm. “The kids will say bye once they’re back. For now, you need to take a nap.”

With a tired nod, Phil closes his eyes. “Just… wake me…”

“We will, Phil.” I squeeze his hand. “Don’t worry.”

. . .

Neither Xander nor Rachel are happy about leaving the hospital, but Xander agrees that Rachel needs to go home, and he knows she won’t unless he does, too. I drive us back to the Eldridge’s house with one hand resting on Xander’s thigh the entire time.

When I pull into the driveway, Xander is staring out the window. I know he’s looking at the overgrown grass and the flowerbeds that need weeded. Phil was already struggling with the upkeep of the house—no time—and now it’s going to be even harder.

“Shit,” Xander mutters as we get out of the car.

Rachel punches him with her good arm.

“Hey! What the hell?”

She does it again. “Daddy told me that any time you swear in front of me, I should punch you so you remember not to do it.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he mutters.

Rachel snatches the house key from his hand. “I’m gonna eat some cereal.”

Sighing, Xander turns to me. “I’ve gotta mow the lawn. Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Let me handle the yard. She needs you more than she needs me.”

“I’m no use to her unless I can work some of this anger out of me,” he says darkly.

“Fair enough.” I grab his arm and kiss his temple. “Let me know if you need any help.”

He relaxes just a touch. “I will. And Luc, thank you. You’ve dropped everything for us. You—”

“Hey. I love you, Xan. You’ve got nothing to thank me for.”

Tears fill his eyes, but he quickly blinks them back. “I love you, too.”

“It’s okay if you need to cry, you know,” I say. He has a few times after Rachel has gone to sleep, but he’s been holding back for the most part.

“Not right now.” He rubs at his face. “I’ve gotta deal with the yard. Please just make sure Rachel is okay.”

“I will. You don’t have to worry.”

I watch him as he rounds the house toward the shed. Helplessness clings to me, and my hands curl into fists. There’s no way I can make this better. Nothing I can do will take this pain away from Xan and Rachel.

Defeated, I head inside the house. Josie is working in the kitchen, and Rachel is pouting on the couch.

“No cereal?” I ask.

“Aunt Josie said I have to wait until dinner.”

“Sorry, kiddo, but she’s kinda right.”

“I should punch you, too,” she mumbles grumpily.

Laughing, I sit next to her. “How are you feeling?”

“Everything hurts.”

“Yeah. You’ve still got a couple hours before you can take your next round of pain meds, though. I’m sorry.”

“I want it to go away,” she says, and her voice wobbles. “I want Dad to come home.”

“I know, Rach. I want that, too.”

Josie pokes her head into the living room and mouths the word nap at me. I nod before turning my attention back to Rachel.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea. What if we get you all nice and cozy in bed, and then I read to you for a bit. Just to help you relax and get your mind off the pain.”

“You think it’ll help?”

“I’d say it’s worth a shot.”

She sniffles. “All right.”

Just as I hoped, my plan works perfectly. Rachel falls asleep within twenty minutes. I keep reading for another ten, just to be safe, and then I quietly turn off her light and leave.

Xander is sitting on the worn couch in the living room. His elbows are on his knees, and he’s leaning forward, staring at the ground. The necklaces he always wears—a cross from his grandfather and the compass one I gave him a few years back—dangle from his neck, swaying gently as he breathes.

“Xan?”

He doesn’t look up. Doesn’t react at all.

“Xander, are you—”

“I have to move back,” he says quietly.

“What?”

“You heard the doctor. Dad will be in recovery for months. He’s not gonna be able to work, let alone take care of Rachel. I can’t leave them like this. They’ll need help with cooking, cleaning, getting Rachel to school, helping her with her homework, keeping her occupied this summer… They need me, Luc.”

He’s still staring at the floor, the picture of dejection. For all of Xander’s life, he was thought of as the one who was destined to fail. Maybe he’d be able to keep some low-wage job, but no one ever expected even that from him.

Yet here he is. A high school graduate, so close to getting his college degree. So close to proving everyone in this goddamn town who whispered or laughed behind his back wrong.

My heart cracks in two as I reach the same realization he must’ve figured out while he was sitting at the table alone. He’s not going to graduate. He can’t.

“Okay,” I say softly. “Then we move back.”

His head snaps up, his gaze sharp as it lands on me. “What? No. You can’t do that.”

“Yes, I can.”

“Lucas, you have to graduate. At least one of us has to.”

At least one of us. We’ve always been a team. It’s been Xander and Lucas for as long as I can remember. When Xander’s mom left, I was with him twenty-four-seven for weeks on end. When I needed a place to stay after things got worse with my dad, Xander let me sleep in his bed with him. When I moved to Birchwood, he followed me without a second thought.

It’s always been us together. If he’s coming back, then so am I. We can figure out college another time. Maybe we can take finals at a later date. We’ll miss the graduation ceremony, but who gives a fuck about that? We can make it work.

I don’t even realize I’ve closed the distance between us until I’m kneeling in front of him. Taking his hands in mine, I clasp them together and brush my lips over his knuckles. “You and me, Xan. I’m not abandoning you.”

“You have to.”

“No.”

“Lucas, I swear to fucking—”

“No,” I snap forcefully, my grip on his hands tightening. Only when he’s looking at me— really looking at me—do I let my voice soften again. “You’re everything to me, Xan. You always have been. You followed me out of this town, and now I’m following you back in.” I touch the compass pendant dangling from his neck. “I’m lost without you. You know that. Where you go, I go. Always.”

Tears flood Xander’s eyes. I tug him closer so his forehead is resting against mine and rub my thumb across the back of his neck.

“You and me against the world, remember?” I murmur.

“What about finals?” Xander croaks out. “What about Colt and Haven? What about—”

“Fuck finals. And for Colt and Haven, we’ll figure it out. We can visit on weekends or some shit like that. He can keep Haven safe while we’re here. Hell, we’re close enough to graduation, maybe they can come here for a while.”

“No.” Xander shakes his head. “No, I don’t want them here. This town sucks the life out of people. I’m not forcing that on them. Or you, Luc. Please.”

“If you’re coming back, then so am I, and you can’t fucking stop me.”

“But—”

“Neither of you are moving back.”

We both look up to find Josie in the living room. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and she’s giving us a stern look.

“What?” Xander and I both ask.

“I was on track to retire next week anyway,” Josie says. “We’ve already worked it out. I’m going to move into the spare room and help take care of your dad and Rachel while they recover.”

“Aunt Josie, no.” Xander stands. “What about Uncle Bob?”

“He’ll help, too. We’ve got it covered, honey.”

“But—but I can’t leave. I can’t abandon them.”

“You won’t be,” she says gently, stepping closer. “You’ll be leaving them in the perfectly capable hands of your family. Phil may be your dad, but he’s my brother, too. Let me do this.”

Glancing between the two of us, Xander releases a disbelieving breath. “Do I actually have a fucking choice in the matter?”

“No,” I say firmly.

“Your father doesn’t want you to move back,” Josie says gently. “He doesn’t want you to sacrifice your future for him.”

“It’s what he did for us.”

“That’s a parent’s job. It’s not a child’s job.” Josie squeezes his shoulder. “Xander, you’ve come so far. Farther than most of us ever thought you would, and…” She blinks back tears. “I’m sorry we didn’t believe in you. You deserved better.”

Shrugging, Xander looks away. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not, and I’m sorry, Xander. I’m so sorry.”

It takes everything in me not to gape at Josie. Getting an apology from a family member, along with support? I don’t think Xander or I expected anything like this to happen on this trip. But I’ll take it. This is what Xander has always deserved, and it shouldn’t have taken twenty-one years for him to get it.

“Thank you,” Xander mutters as he blinks back tears. “That… that means a lot. And thank you for being willing to take care of them. I know it’ll be a lot.”

“I think the only thing we’ll struggle with is the finances, but we’ll make it work.” She squeezes Xander’s hand. “We always have.”

I shake my head. “Colton already offered to cover everything.”

Josie blinks rapidly. “What?”

“Everything,” Xander repeats. “Hospital bills, the mortgage, utilities, groceries, any school fees that come up for Rachel… all of it.”

Aunt Josie gasps. “What? That’s—that’s too much. How could he even afford that? We can’t—”

“Oh, he can afford it,” I cut in.

“He takes care of his family.” Xander gestures to me and then back to himself. “Dad and Rachel included.”

Josie makes an uncomfortable sound. “Still, that’s a lot of money.”

“Trust me,” I say. “He won’t even feel it.”

Her jaw drops.

“Yeah, no.” Xander rubs at his face. “The guy has more money than god.”

“Lord,” she murmurs. “Well, I don’t feel quite so bad, then. It’d be really helpful, especially with me losing my income. Social security will kick in, of course, but it won’t be nearly the same amount.”

“He’s got it.” Xander takes her hand and squeezes. “And if you end up needing help, you tell me, all right?”

“Of course.” Josie backs away. “I’ll leave you two alone, now. I’m sorry for interrupting.”

“You saved me from having to tie him up and throw him in the back of my car to get him home, so no worries,” I say with a wink, and while it doesn’t make her laugh, she at least smiles.

“We’ll make the trip down as often as we can,” I tell Xander quietly. “You won’t be abandoning them.”

“Just tell me it doesn’t make me a bad person.” Tears fall into his lap. “Tell me I’m not a bad person for going back to college.”

“You’re not.” I take his hands. “I promise you, Xan.”

He looks at me like he wants to believe me but can’t. His shoulders shake, and his face scrunches up.

“Hey, hey. C’mere.”

When I wrap my arms around him, he lets me pull him to the floor. He’s half in front of me and half in my lap, barely able to take a full breath.

“Luc,” he sobs.

“I’ve got you.” I hold him to me as my heart breaks for him. “No matter what happens, Xan, I’ve got you.”