Page 40

Colton

Haven looks more terrified now than she did when Xander and I showed up. I don’t want to hurt her, especially after what she just went through, so I keep my grip gentle.

“His name is Isaiah,” Haven says hesitantly.

“We gathered that,” Lucas snaps.

She cringes, and I shoot him a hard look. This wasn’t how I wanted to learn more about Haven’s past. When we were younger, I thought she’d open up to me when she was ready. After that, I assumed I’d never know, until I decided to torture the information out of her—a mistake I’ll never make again.

“We should sit down.” It’s phrased like a suggestion, but I’m already guiding Haven out of the woods and toward a picnic table.

Lucas and Xander follow close behind us. Xander is talking quietly, and I hope to god he’s telling Lucas to get a fucking grip, or I’m going to strangle him. Haven is freaked out enough. We don’t need him making it worse.

Xander and Lucas sit on one side of the table, and Haven and I on the other. Even though Isaiah is dealt with—although I fully expect the motherfucker to come back once he’s healed—I tuck Haven into my side and keep an arm around her. She needs to know we’ve still got her back. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself is the reason for needing her close.

“Tell me I heard him wrong,” Lucas says angrily. “Tell me I didn’t hear him call you his wife. Because what the fuck, Haven?”

“Luc,” Xan warns.

Silence fills the space between us for a beat. My mind works to configure all the pieces of information about Haven that I’ve picked up over the years. The end result is so sickening that it makes me want to bring Isaiah back here and beat him to death.

“He’s my husband,” Haven confesses quietly. “But I don’t—”

“So you’re telling me that this entire time, you’ve been cheating on him?” Lucas asks, and the disgust in his voice is potent enough that even I wince.

Haven’s eyes widen. “No! I mean, I don’t—”

“No?” Lucas spits out. “How many people have you gone out with over the past three years? Just because you didn’t have the guts to fuck them doesn’t mean it wasn’t cheating. And that’s not even counting all the jackasses you’ve blown, let alone us.”

“Lucas, it’s not like tha—”

“Shut up. Just fucking shut up.” Lucas stands forcefully, knocking into the table enough to make it rattle. “You can’t just tell us that this entire time, you’ve been fucking married, and expect us to just brush it off.”

Tears flood Haven’s eyes. “But I was only—”

“Shut. Up. You’re disgusting. People like you are the scum of the earth.”

Before any of us can get a word in, Lucas storms off. He disappears into the woods, and Xander swears under his breath and stands.

“Don’t,” I say. “Give him a minute alone.”

He sits back down, and his eyes go soft with concern when he looks at Haven.

“Xan—Xander, I wouldn’t—”

“I know, doll. I know.” He reaches across the table and takes her hands. “No one could hold what you’ve done against you. Not anyone reasonable, at least.”

“But Lucas—”

“He just needs a second to put the pieces together,” Xander explains gently. “Cheating is… something of a trigger for him.”

“But I never wanted to be married to Isaiah in the first place,” Haven sobs.

“Hey, Colt,” Xander says, his eyes never leaving Haven. “Can you cheat on someone who forced you into a marriage?”

“If it’s forced, it’s not real, so no.”

Haven shakes her head frantically. “But it is real!”

“Fine. Then we’ll help you with the divorce paperwork.”

She buries her face in her hands. “That’s not how this works. There’s no way out of it. Not officially.”

“Yes, there is,” I tell her while I rub her back. “People get divorced all the time.”

“Divorce doesn’t work for this,” she whispers. “The only way out is death.”

Xander and I exchange a glance that’s part worry, part fury. I know a lot of Christians don’t believe in divorce, but it sounds like Haven is talking about something else. Something far, far worse.

“What do you mean?” Xander asks slowly.

“Pastor Beckham always talked about the separation of church and state. He said the government has no place in marriage. That—that it’s between a man, a woman, and God.”

Oh, thank fuck. If that’s the case, then legally speaking, Haven and Isaiah’s marriage means nothing. That doesn’t seem to be enough for Haven, though. She’s still married to him in her mind, and that realization breaks something inside me. Even after three years, this cult’s ideologies still have a death grip on her.

“Then it’s not a real marriage,” Xander says.

“It is! That’s how—”

“No, it’s not,” I growl. “Whatever ceremony you had, it was meaningless.”

“That’s not what Isaiah thinks. The—the vows we took, they’re not supposed to be broken. It’s one of the greatest sins you can commit. Adultery can be punishable by death. That’s how seriously they take it.”

“What do you mean, can be?” I ask.

“It depends on what the husband chooses. He can decide to forgive his wife and give her a second chance. If he doesn’t, then he can…” Haven pauses, searching for the right words. “Or he can choose to ‘enact God’s justice’ on her if he doesn’t find her worthy of forgiveness.”

Xander goes stiff. “That’s not how God’s forgiveness is supposed to work.”

“You think I don’t know that?” she asks tiredly.

He narrows his eyes. “What if the husband is the one who cheats?”

“He’ll usually have a couple sessions with Beckham and the elders. They’ll pray over him and study the Bible together to get the husband back on the right track. The—the wife will be assigned a new mentor to help her learn how to serve her husband better so it doesn’t happen again.”

I barely hear their conversation. I can only focus on one thing—the way Isaiah was looking at Haven in the woods. There was only rage. If he’d gotten his hands on her, there wouldn’t have been any forgiveness.

“He’d kill you,” I say quietly.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

More of the pieces fall into place. I already had my suspicions, but today confirms it. I pull Haven closer until she’s leaning into me. “He’s the one who raped you.”

Not a question. There’s no hiding from the truth now.

Haven nods. “He wouldn’t see it that way, though. I’m his wife. Sex is something I’m supposed to give to him whenever he wants.”

“You are not his wife,” I grit out.

“I am,” she insists. “I spoke the vows. I lived with him. I cooked and cleaned for him. I did all of it for years.”

Xander and I exchange a horrified glance. For years?

“Angel, how old were you when you were forced to marry him?”

She hesitates.

“Haven.”

“F-fifteen.”

Oh my god.

“And how old was he?” Xander asks. “Because he doesn’t look anywhere near our age.”

“That—that doesn’t matter.”

Xander laughs, although the sound is bitter and hollow. “I may not have grown up in a cult, but I still grew up in the church. I know how this shit works. How old was he?”

With tears in her eyes, she stares at the table and mumbles, “Twenty-seven.”

I almost choke on my next breath. Twelve years older? Maybe the age gap wouldn’t be a big deal if she was older— significantly older—but she was a child.

“It’s okay,” she says quietly. “It’s how it is there. I was prepared for it. All the girls—”

“No.” My voice is harsher than it should be, but I won’t let her talk about what she went through like that. “Nothing makes it okay. Fucking nothing. You don’t have to downplay it. Not around us.”

A startled, pained noise leaves Haven before she bursts into tears. I wrap her up in my arms, and Xander rounds the table to do the same. My childhood was hard, despite being cushy and safe. Xander had it even worse. But Haven? Neither of our childhoods compare to this. She had to live through a real-life nightmare.

No wonder her anxiety is so bad.

Feeling Haven’s body convulse with every sob drives me to action. I stand and reposition her so she’s leaning into Xander. Reliving her past is hard enough for Haven. Lucas being an ass about it is only heightening Haven’s pain.

“Where are you going?” Xander asks.

“To find Lucas. Get her home before we run into any more trouble.”

I march off, entering the woods and scanning the area. Lucas is sitting on a fallen tree that’s not that far into the forest, facing the picnic tables. Even when he’s pissed at Haven, he can’t stop himself from ensuring she’s safe.

Can’t blame him, either. I’m the same way.

Lucas doesn’t acknowledge me until I’m standing right in front of him. Jaw clenched, he tips his head up and glares at me.

“Get up,” I say. “We’re going for a walk.”

Lucas normally only listens to Xander, so when he stands without fighting me on it, I know he’s really out of it. Losing a parent as a kid fucks you up, whether it’s because he cheated and left like Lucas’s, or because she died like mine. The pain of being abandoned has followed Luc around ever since, but dammit, the guy still has logic.

After a few minutes of silence, I stop and turn to face him. “Listen, despite what everyone else may think, I know you’re not a brainless jackass. So would you use your head for two goddamn seconds, please?”

“I am.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I don’t care that she escaped a cult,” he snaps. “That doesn’t justify this. She could’ve applied for divorce, gotten a restraining order, shit like that. But cheating is never justified. Never. She’s—”

“Lucas,” I yell.

He goes quiet and stares at me in shock. I’m not one to shout, but I need him to shut up and listen for a minute.

“She was forced to marry Isaiah when she was fifteen. She was a kid, man.”

Lucas glares at me. He wants to be angry. I don’t know if Xander has noticed yet, but I have. Lucas wants an excuse to keep hating Haven because feeling any other way toward her is terrifying.

“He beat her, Luc. Raped her. She spent her entire marriage trying to be the perfect wife so he would finally start loving her. So he’d stop hurting her. But she was never enough for him.”

She didn’t confess to all of that today, but she didn’t need to. I’ve never forgotten a single thing about Haven, and between how she acts, the things she’s said, and what I know about the church, I have enough information to confidently draw those conclusions.

Lucas pales but doesn’t say anything.

“She can’t initiate a formal divorce, but she left him,” I continue. “Even if she hadn’t, I think anything is justified given the way he treated her.”

Eyes averted, he nods. “I should’ve pieced that together myself. God, I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

“I’d agree with that assessment.”

“Is she…?” He grimaces.

“Is she okay? God, no.”

“Where is she?”

“Xander took her home.”

Grabbing his keys, he starts moving toward his car. “I need to talk to her.”

I place a hand on his chest to stop him. “No. Not right now.”

“Yes, now! The things I said—” He scrubs a hand over his face. “I can’t let that sit.”

“You’re going to.”

“No! Colton, I was an absolute ass. She’d just turned eighteen when she showed up here. Her being married… I should’ve seen it for what it was immediately.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t, because you’re a fucking mess.” I hold out my keys. “Take my bike, go for a ride, and clear your head. Then talk to her.”

“What about—”

“I’ll take your car home.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but at the look on my face, he shuts it. If I have to physically keep him from Haven, I will, and he knows it. And with the shit he said to her? He knows Xander will probably be on my side, too.

“Fine,” he grumbles, and we trade keys.

“Don’t come back to the house until you’re ready to apologize.”

“I know.”

“Good.” I squeeze his shoulder. “Be safe, all right?”

“Will be,” he mumbles.

We start to head our separate ways, but I stop. “Oh, and Lucas?”

“Yeah?”

“This is far from over. Isaiah said he wanted to bring Haven home, but I don’t think that’s the truth. He wants to kill her.”

“What?”

“Haven will explain it to you later, but she’s not leaving our sight for the foreseeable future. Isaiah will be back, and we know how far he’ll go to get to her.”

Lucas’s nostrils flare. “I’ll kill him before I let him near her again. I don’t care that she wants him alive.”

“I’m right there with you.”

We don’t have to question Xander’s stance. We know when it comes to Haven’s safety, he’ll kill for her in a heartbeat, too.