Page 61

Haven

Colton barely gives himself a breather before he carries me up to his room. He kicks the door shut behind us, probably to keep Star out, and then throws me onto the bed. With my face in his hands, he kisses me softly. Reverently.

This is what I want from him more than anything else. The degradation and free use and safewords are nice, and they give me an escape, but all I care about is getting access to the real Colton Heverly. He’s not putting on a face or trying to hide his feelings right now. He’s being completely open, and I love him for it.

Colton gets onto his back in the center of the bed and tugs me over to him. I crawl closer, letting him run his hands over my body. He’s not objectifying me or making me recite the mantra he came up with. He’s just… enjoying me, exactly as I am.

“Get on top of me.” He does practically all the work in lifting me up so I’m straddling him. “Yeah, just like that. I want to watch you while you ride me.”

Taking his cock in my hand, I slowly lower myself onto it until he’s all the way inside me. All the air rushes out of my lungs at the sensation of being filled by him. I give myself a second to adjust before moving. It’s a new angle, and now I have all my weight pulling me down onto him.

“Good?” he asks, his fingers skimming up my arms.

“Mmhmm. Just… so big.”

“And look how well you take every inch.” One of his hands drops to where we’re connected, and his thumb gently rubs my clit. “So fucking beautiful like this.”

I moan as electricity zaps through me from his touch. Slowly, I move up and down on his cock. It somehow feels as good as when he was driving into me downstairs, and based on the way Colton’s breath stutters, it feels good for him, too.

Slowly, I pick up my pace. Colton gazes up at me proudly as he keeps rubbing my clit. The look on his face is like stepping into sunshine after a rainstorm. I’d do just about anything to capture it and keep it forever.

“You feel amazing, angel,” Colton tells me. “God, stay just like that. This angle—shit, Haven, it’s perfect.”

I do what he says and keep the angle the same, but the need to please him has me going faster, harder. His groan hits me straight in the chest. Knowing I’m the one who’s making him feel this way has pride spilling into my veins. It also sends me catapulting into my next orgasm without warning.

“Colt—oh my god, Colton,” I cry.

He strokes my clit a few more times before grabbing onto my hips and thrusting up into me. I scream, so he does it again. My body thrums with ecstasy as he pushes me higher, higher, higher.

When Colton finally slows, my vision blurs, and my thoughts turn fuzzy. It’s all too overwhelming. I can’t… can’t handle…

“Whoa, whoa.” Colton grabs my waist to steady me, and I realize I was swaying to the side. “You all right?”

“Yeah, it just…” I blink, trying to shake the fogginess from my mind. “Just… wow.”

He’s frowning, and he reaches up to brush some of my hair out of my face. “You sure? It looked like you were gonna pass out on me for a second.”

“Mmhmm.” My smile is dazed, and I still feel a little dizzy, but I’m fine. I went from being terrified to being absolutely ravaged in such a short period that I’m struggling to keep up. I just need a little break, that’s all.

Still, Colton is watching me with concern. “Let’s just…” He pulls me down until my chest is pressed to his. “There. Don’t want you falling and hurting yourself.”

“Mmm.” My eyes flutter closed, and I place my hands on his hard chest. He’s so warm. So… solid. And somehow, he’s mine again.

Colton’s arms wrap around me, and I relax against his body. For the first time in years, I let him lull me into a sense of trust I’ve craved since the night I betrayed him. It’s warm and sweet and everything I remember it being, minus the fear.

There’s no reason to be afraid of him anymore.

“Yeah, that’s it,” he whispers as he strokes my hair. “Let me hold you.”

Slowly, Colton thrusts into me, and I choke out a moan. When he does it again, I bury my face in his chest. He’s still managing to hit all the right spots, and the way he’s holding me so gently… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more cherished.

I’ve come to accept what I like in bed. I love the degradation and the roughness that comes with being with these three boys, but when their gentle sides comes out, I bask in them.

With Colton, I think it’s the side of him I like the most. He’s so convinced that he’s a horrible person. And god, he’s done some awful things, quite a few of them to me. But he told me when we were younger that he gives his all to his friends, and that’s true. I’ve seen what he does to take care of Xander and Lucas. What he’s done to take care of me.

He’s not a bad person. Not by a long shot.

“Hold on,” Colton mutters. He carefully rolls us over so I’m beneath him. “There. You comfortable like this?”

I gaze up at him and nod as a tired smile takes over my face. Everything fades from my mind except for the fact that we’re finally here. When Colton slides back into me, it only solidifies it.

“Good,” he whispers. “I want you to come for me again.”

I’m not sure I have the energy for it until Colton places a hand on my lower stomach and slowly applies pressure. He uses the other to stroke my clit, and all of a sudden, I feel so close that the air is snatched from my lungs.

“Oh!” I clumsily grab at Colton’s arm.

“Yeah?” He grins and thrusts harder. “Gonna come already?”

“I don’t—I—how—” The rest of my sentence is stolen from me, and my nails dig into Colton’s arm as I come. Pain twinges in my side, but it’s quickly eclipsed by the wave of pure bliss that overtakes me.

“That’s my girl,” Colton murmurs. “Practically coming on command.”

“Colt,” I gasp.

I can barely get in a full breath. He’s still driving into me, and watching me come only makes him fuck me harder. It’s almost more than I can take, but I don’t want to stop. I never want to stop.

“You’re doing so well,” he says, voice coaxing. “I know you can do it again.”

Doubts flood my mind, but in the end, he’s right. Two more times, he makes me come like this. The room feels like it’s spinning by the time he’s lowering himself onto his elbows. He brings both my legs over his shoulders, basically folding me in half. When he thrusts into me, I understand why.

“God,” I wheeze. My body feels more sensitive, and every movement he makes feels more intense.

“I know, angel,” Colton pants. “I feel it, too.”

My back arches on its own, and a high-pitched cry leaves my lips. Even without him touching my clit, I can barely handle all the sensations coursing through me.

“God, angel, you’re gonna make me come if you keep making noises like that.”

“I—” But a second cry is ripped from my throat when Colton slams into me harder. It pushes me over the edge into one last orgasm. This one feels different than the previous ones. Those felt like explosions, and this feels like drowning, but in the best way.

“Shit,” Colton forces out, his voice weakening at the end.

“Please come inside me,” I beg. “Colton, ple— ahhh —please, I want you to come inside me again. I want to feel—want to feel it dripping out of me. God, Colt, please.”

Colton swears again, and his body goes stiff. This time, he doesn’t hide his face from me, and I take in every micro-expression as he pushes deep inside me and holds himself there. His eyes flutter shut, and his lips part on a choked moan.

“Fuck. Fuck, Haven.”

Euphoria washes over me, and it feels like I’m coming again, just from the sight of him unraveling in front of me. Because of me. I’ve never seen him like this before. So uninhibited. So… vulnerable.

With a shudder, Colton drops his head. He’s still inside of me, and he’s too goddamn tall for me to press my lips to his, so I pepper his chest with tiny kisses instead. My hands travel up his sides as he slowly— so slowly—pulls out of me.

Gaze fixed between my legs, Colton watches with hooded eyes as I feel his cum slip out of me. He gathers it up with two fingers and pushes it back inside, murmuring, “Mine. You hear me, angel? You’re fucking mine, and this is only the first way I’m going to claim you.”

I inhale sharply. Colton was possessive of me back in freshman year, and that started up again when I moved in, but it wasn’t like this. He means it differently now.

He means forever.

“You understand me?” he asks, voice low.

Breathlessly, I nod. I want that. Want him. I want all three of them to claim me and own me so thoroughly that the remaining hold Isaiah has on me snaps in two and falls away.

“I need that,” I whisper.

“Need what?”

“Need… to be yours.”

Colton lets out a soft breath, and his dark, possessive expression fades into something sweeter and near-pure. Like he can’t help himself, he lowers his body back onto mine and captures my mouth with his. It’s a gentle kiss, yet it banishes every thought from my mind. He’s saying so much without a single word, promising me that he’s mine as much as I’m his.

We fall deeper and deeper into each other, not pulling away when he slips his arms around me and rolls us over so I’m on top of him again. With one hand pressed to my back to hold me to him, he uses his other to thread his fingers through my hair. He’s so gentle, so unlike the man who brutally fucked my throat and locked me in a cage on Halloween night.

“I like this side of you,” I whisper against his lips.

When Colton pulls away to look at me, there’s an uncertainty in his eyes. It lingers for a split second before fading into pure, unbridled affection.

“I think I like it, too,” he murmurs. “I think I’ve… missed it.” And then he’s tugging me down again, his lips moving against mine like he’s trying to worship me.

I don’t think I’d mind that.

Eventually, we settle down. Colton pulls the sheets over us, and then the deep plum comforter. I wiggle closer to him, and I sigh happily when he slips an arm under me so I can put my head on his shoulder.

“You have a lot of purple things around your house,” I say teasingly. My fingers brush over the star tattoo on his wrist.

He twists one of the purple sections of my hair around his finger, his eyes locked onto it. “I do.”

Satisfaction curls through me as my suspicions are confirmed. It’s because of me. “Have you ever heard the phrase unhealthy obsession?”

His lips tip up. “Close your eyes, angel. Get some sleep.”

We both drift off, our sweaty bodies intertwined and pressed together at every possible point. I don’t wake until Colton eases his arm out from underneath me and slowly sits up. Rays from the setting sun are streaming in through his windows, and when I open my eyes, I groan in pain at the brightness.

Chuckling, Colton gets up and draws his black curtains shut. “Better?”

“Mmhmm.”

“You don’t have to get up.” He’s back on the bed again, sitting on the edge. One of his large hands moves down my calf. “I just have to make a couple calls.”

“About your dad?”

He nods.

“Please don’t leave,” I whisper.

His hand freezes halfway up my leg, and he’s looking at me with a mixture of disbelief and happiness.

“Stay right here.” I pat my hand on the empty spot where he was lying a minute ago.

A soft smile plays across his features. “Yeah, all right. I will.”

I close my eyes again, planning to listen in on his conversations, but I fall asleep. When I wake, he’s still in bed, his phone pressed to his ear, and I can just make out a woman’s voice on the other end of the line.

“I need you to get an organization-wide message out for me,” Colton is saying. “First, that Mark is in the middle of some kind of mental breakdown, and second, that any orders he gives are to be ignored until I say so. That includes any hit he tries to put out on Gerard or Brandon.”

“Of course. Is there anything else?”

“Not for right now, but I’ll keep you updated, hopefully soon.”

“Understood. I’m proud of you, Colton.”

He pauses, and some of the tension bleeds out of him. “Thank you.”

“Have a good evening.”

“You, too.”

Maybe it’s my sleep-muddled brain not understanding, but worry pricks at me as Colton places his phone beside him.

“Will anyone try to challenge you?” I mumble as I rub my temples.

Why does my head hurt so bad?

“There are a few who might,” Colton says as he gets up. “They won’t get very far, though. Not with our plan. And, well, it’s written in the bylaws that leadership is transferred from parent to eldest child, so it’s automatically mine.”

“And… no one should listen to Mark because…?”

“Because I’m protecting some people.” He grabs a fresh shirt from his dresser. “And you.”

“Mmm.”

When Colton turns around to face me, he’s frowning. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just have a headache.”

With his shirt halfway on, Colton freezes. His face goes pale, an expression of horror filling his features.

My heart clenches painfully. It must be setting in, what he did. That he finally fucked me, and it was caring and sweet and the opposite of everything he normally is with me.

Please don’t regret it. I need you to not regret it.

“Haven, how hard did you hit your head?”

“W… what?”

When I move to sit up, pain shoots through my side, and I wince at the discomfort. Dizziness hits a moment later, and the ache in my skull turns from dull to stabbing.

Oh. Maybe the way I felt earlier wasn’t because of how good Colton felt.

“Shit.” Colton is by my side in a split second, catching me before I crash to the floor.

I didn’t even realize I was falling.

No. No. I’m fine. I’ve handled worse than what Mark did to me dozens of times. Although… Isaiah was always careful not to go for my head. He knew a concussion would be a dead giveaway to what he was doing to me.

“Did I hurt you? God, I shouldn’t have been so rough.” Colton’s gentle hands travel over my body, and the panic in his voice scares me.

But I can’t be that hurt, can I? Not after everything we just did. I was fine. A little pain here and there, but nothing I couldn’t handle.

“I’m sure I’m fine. I probably just need some water or—or some food. That was… I don’t think I’ve ever come that many times in a row before.”

But he’s still staring at me like he broke me. “Angel, I’m so sorry. I—”

“You didn’t hurt me, Colton.” With both hands on his shoulders, I take a hesitant, shallow breath. “See? There. I’m fine.”

I knew it. Colton is just babying me, that’s all.

He frowns. “Breathe deeper.”

“Wha—”

“Do it.”

Carefully, I inhale, taking a full breath. An ache spreads across the entirety of my left side, and I grimace, my grip on Colton’s shoulder tightening.

“Fuck.” He presses his forehead to mine, cupping my head with both his hands. “I should’ve waited. I—I’m sorry, Haven. I wasn’t thinking.”

“No,” I whisper. My lips meet his in a kiss of reassurance. “Colton, that was… it was everything. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I tossed you around and fucked you to within an inch of your life while you have a concussion. And god knows if I aggravated any of your other injuries.” He traces his fingers down my side, eyeing the red skin that’ll probably be a big, ugly bruise in a few hours. “I got too caught up in the moment.”

“It’s okay. I’m—”

“No! I…” He looks away, clenching his jaw and breathing hard.

“Colt—”

“I can’t keep hurting you,” he forces out, and his voice is filled to the brim with desperation and regret. “I’ve hurt you enough, Haven. I’m supposed to take care of you. Protect you. And instead, I…”

“Stop. Just stop. Please, you… you can’t regret this, Colt. I need you to not regret it.”

His eyes soften, and his shoulders sag. “I don’t. I never could, angel.”

Relief spirals through me, and I hold out my arms toward him. But when he moves in, he doesn’t go for a hug. Gingerly, he picks me up and cradles me to his chest. His lips feather across my forehead as he carries me across the room.

I have no idea what he’s doing, but I don’t need to. I think… I think for the first time in my entire life, I fully believe that the man claiming he’ll take care of me actually means it. And for the first time since I met Colton, I realize I trust him, wholly and unconditionally.

In the bathroom, Colton sets me on the counter. He makes sure I’m far back enough that I can lean against the wall and then starts up a bath in his huge tub. While it fills, he steps in between my legs and wraps his arms around me. My body molds to his when he tugs me forward, and I rest my head on his shoulder.

“I’ll be okay,” I whisper, hoping to ease some of the tension I can feel in the way he’s holding me.

“I know. I’ll make sure of it.” He pulls away. “I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t move. And lean against the wall again.”

“Where are you—”

“Promise me, Haven.”

“I promise.”

“Good girl.” With a kiss to my cheek, he backs away and steps out of the bathroom.

Alone and with my back pressed to the wall, I stare at the tub as it fills with steaming water. Colton is probably hoping that it’ll help soothe the pain in my side. It’s sweet, although I wish he wouldn’t feel so guilty. This really wasn’t his fault. When I kissed him that first time, I felt mostly fine. I didn’t think it would be a problem.

Colton reappears a few minutes later with a sandwich in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Is that for me?” I ask.

Stepping in between my legs again, he sets a glass of water and two blue pills on the counter beside me. “Yeah. After you eat, you can take the pain meds.”

I’m not feeling particularly hungry—in fact, my stomach feels a little off—but the idea of pain relief is enough for me to get through half the sandwich. Thankfully, that seems to be enough to satisfy Colton because he doesn’t try to stop me when I take the pills.

“They’ll kick in soon.” His hands are resting on my legs, like he can’t stop himself from touching me. “A half hour at most.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s get your hair up.” He gathers it all in his hands, gently combing his fingers through it, and I realize he has one of my hair ties around his wrist.

“I can—”

“Shh. I’ve watched you do this plenty of times. I can do it.”

“Just… not as tight as I normally go, okay?”

“Of course.”

While he works my hair into a loose bun, I close my eyes. We took a nap together, but I feel more exhausted than before we fell asleep.

“How’s that?”

When Colton pulls his hands away, I reach up to touch my hair. The bun would fall out if I was going to be moving around, but it’ll hold for the bath.

“Good. Thank you.”

He nods. “Now let’s get you in the water.”

Colton lets me slide off the counter myself, but he keeps both hands on my waist to steady me. As we cross the bathroom to the tub, he doesn’t let go of me. The extra support is nice, especially because I don’t feel particularly stable.

With my hands in his, I step into the tub. Colton settles against the side and pulls me in between his legs. I fit perfectly tucked under his chin, my back pressed against his hard abs and chest. The heat wraps around us, soothing the ache in my side.

“Our doctor will be here in about an hour,” Colton says quietly. “I want him to look over you to make sure you’ll be okay.”

“Mmm.” If I had more energy, I’d probably fight him. I hate doctors. But between Colton’s body against mine and the warmth of the water, sleep is already pulling me into its depths.

“It’s all right,” he whispers. “Rest. I’ve got you.”

I’ve got you. That’s the second time he’s said that to me today, and also the first time in years. At the realization, peace settles over me, and I close my eyes.

We’re finally back to where we were all those years ago, before everything went to shit.

We’re finally back.