Page 51

Haven

I’m nestled in between Xander and Lucas on the couch while a rom-com plays on the TV. It’s what I requested, and I thought for sure the boys would say no, but they agreed without protest.

Colton is sitting in his armchair by himself, and I wish he wasn’t. I think it would be difficult to cuddle all three boys at the same time, but I want to try. I don’t like that he’s lonely.

It’s nearing nine o’clock, and my punishment definitely wore me out. The boys are keeping me warm, and with Lucas gently running his hands through my hair, I’m having trouble staying awake. All I want to do is curl up in my cage, snuggle under my blanket, and sleep until the sun wakes me up.

That thought shocks me.

There’s no way in hell I want to get in that damn thing.

… Right?

But, as the movie continues, I realize I can’t fully convince myself of that. My cage has turned into something that represents an odd type of safety for me. When I’m locked in there, nothing is expected of me. I can’t do homework, I can’t scroll on my phone, I get to wear comfy clothes, and I don’t have to do whatever the guys want me to.

In my cage, I’m just me. And, in its own fucked up way, being locked up in there is freeing. I guess I do want it—as long as it’s Colt, Xan, or Luc who have the key. There isn’t anyone else I’d trust with something like that.

“Haven?”

Startled, I jump at Lucas’s voice. All three of the guys are staring at me with varying levels of concern. Xander is standing in front of the TV, remote in hand, and the movie credits are rolling behind him.

“What?” I ask.

Colton frowns. “Did you not hear me?”

“I… No, I’m sorry. I guess I was… thinking.”

“He asked if you’re ready for bed,” Xander says gently, moving closer so he can push some hair out of my face. “You look tired.”

Swallowing hard, I nod. “Sleep sounds nice.”

I move to get up, but before I can, Lucas has me in his arms. He stands with ease, and I don’t even bother fighting it. I press a kiss to his neck and close my eyes.

When they promised to take care of me months ago, I didn’t believe them. I thought I was walking into a prison of misery. And sure, these boys will spend all day degrading and using me. But when nighttime hits, they treat me like a fucking princess. The harshness in their eyes disappears, and it makes it easier for me to relax.

As Lucas carries me up the stairs, I realize that must be intentional. He knows how hard it is to rest when you don’t feel safe.

Lucas brings me into Colton’s bathroom and sets me on the counter. He stays in between my legs the entire time I brush my teeth, his large hands resting on my thighs.

“I know I already said it, but I’m proud of you,” he murmurs once I’m done. “Maybe I’m reading things wrong, but it looks like what we’re doing is helping you.”

“It is. Not in the way I thought it would, but it is.”

“Is that why you started crying earlier?”

“Yeah. I… I didn’t feel all the horrible things I normally feel. I just enjoyed it.”

Relief floods Lucas’s expression. “That’s really good, Haven. That’s… god. I’ve been hoping that would happen.”

Without thinking about it, I slide my hand into his as we move into the bedroom. I’m about to respond when I spot something in my cage. It’s purple and red and looks suspiciously like…

“Is that a stuffed dragon?”

I don’t wait for Lucas to answer. I dash to my cage and practically dive inside. Sure enough, it’s a soft, plush dragon, complete with scales going down its back.

“Wait.” I examine it more closely and run my hands over the material. “This looks like the same one that was in that video.”

Lucas nods. “I couldn’t find it for sale anywhere, so I had to have it custom made. That’s why it took me so long to get it.”

My jaw drops, and then I’m crawling out of the cage. “Luc, I—this—you have no idea how much this means to me. I’ve never had a stuffed animal before.”

“I know.”

Tears of joy sting my eyes, and I throw myself at him. He catches me with a startled breath before crushing me to his chest.

“Thank you,” I tell him. “This was so sweet.”

“I wanted you to be happy. You’re stuck inside this house, and we’ve made the last three years so hard on you. I know this doesn’t make up for it. Nothing will, but I’m sorry, and I want to—”

Pulling back, I hold a finger to his lips and whisper, “I love you.”

I don’t think about what a foolish thing that is to say until pain fills Lucas’s eyes. He’s been soft and gentle with me—kind, even—but that doesn’t mean this is what he wants. He agreed to keep me safe, and he’s trying to make the best of it, that’s—

“I love you, too, little fawn.”

The need to kiss him resurfaces, but I hesitate. He kisses Xander all the time, but maybe it’s different with me. Maybe he has to work himself up to it. Or… maybe he doesn’t want to be the one to initiate it.

“Can I—” I clear my throat. “Can I kiss you?”

Lucas swallows, and his cheeks turn pink.

“It’s okay if you don’t—”

“I’ve never kissed a girl before.”

Oh.

“Do you want me to be your first?” I ask timidly.

“I…”

I’m sure Lucas is about to say no when he cups the back of my head and gently brushes his lips against mine. I lean into him, and he deepens the kiss while keeping it chaste and sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like this before—for the sole purpose of someone showing me they care about me.

When Lucas pulls away, he sighs and rests his forehead against mine. “Forget the deal.”

“What?”

“Forget it.” He kisses me again. “I’ll protect you until the day I die, deal or not. Letting you go was a mistake, and I’m not going to make it again.”

Hope rises in my chest. “Does that mean you forgive me?”

His fingers thread through my hair, and he meets my gaze with a sad smile. “I do. I’m sorry it took me this long.”

This time, when Lucas kisses me, it feels remorseful. His lips move slowly against mine, like he’s trying to apologize again without words.

“Can you forgive me?” he asks hoarsely.

Pain blooms in my chest. “I want to, but I…”

I just don’t know if I’m ready to yet.

It feels almost hypocritical, telling Lucas I love him but that I don’t forgive him. That’s bullshit, though. I know firsthand what it’s like to love someone and not have it in me to forgive them for what they did.

He nods. “Take however much time you need. I’ll wait a lifetime for your forgiveness.”

I intertwine our fingers and bring our hands to my lips so I can kiss his knuckles. My lips move to the dagger tattoo on his wrist, brushing over it softly. “Thank you.”

It’s then that I realize Xander is standing in the doorway. His jaw is set, like he’s pissed, although I can’t imagine why. There’s no reason for him to be jealous.

Colton brushes past him, his face grim. He’s holding his phone in a tight grip, and when his gaze lands on me, his expression turns pitying.

My stomach sinks with dread, my peaceful moment with Lucas shattered. “What?”

“Isaiah is back.”