Page 86 of Puck My Life

I feel sick.

I don’t pay much attention to where we’re going, but when he stops, he’s at the team rooms, and Raynor is glaring at us. I can’t look away from him, but words have evaporated from my head.

Jansen smiles smugly and leans in to kiss my cheek. “I’m going to leave you here. I feel confident that this is not going to happen, and there are some alphas who are dying to take my place.”

“I-”

“Just tell them, Vae,” he urges and, with a wink, backs off and disappears into the crowd.

“Your date’s over early.”

I blink up at Raynor. “It’s not working. He’s not the one.”

Raynor grips my hand and strokes his thumb along the inside of my wrist.

“Who is the one?”

I inhale sharply, struck suddenly mute.

“Who is the one, Vae?”

I don’t want to answer this. How could I possibly answer this?

I turn away from him again, but he drops an arm over my shoulder and walks with me as I head out of the rink because I need fresh air. It’s one thing to go on a date but another to be explaining said date to the alpha I am currently infatuated with.

I lean against the wall and look up at the sky. “How is your song going?”

Raynor leans against the wall beside me. “Want to hear it?”

I nod my head.

He starts singing, and I forget about Mal and Deacon, I forget about hockey and Jansen and my upcoming heat; all I can do is listen to the poignant words that he has created and wonder why no one else can see what I see.

When he finishes, I wrap my arms around him and hug him so tight like I’ve always done. A therapist I saw once said it’s because, subconsciously, I’ve been telling myself if I hug them hard enough, I can make up for the lack of parental love they had growing up. But perhaps she was wrong, perhaps I’m hugging them because I don’t want to let them go.

How much of the problem has been me?

I don’t let him go, though; I just inhale that sweet smell of his and wish that things were different.

“When did you find out you were an omega?”

The question takes me by surprise. “A couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t been feeling good, felt I just had a cold or was run down. So I went to the doctor and, yeah, joyful news.”

“You can’t get this guy to take you through your heat, Vae.”

“It has to be someone.”

“So, let it be us.”

I let go of him and step back, but he catches up my arms.

“Don’t run away!” he snaps.

“I’m not running, but you can’t say things like that, Raynor.”

“I can, and I am. If you won’t take us as a pack, at least take one of us to see you through, so you're safe.”

“Safe is…” I flounder, my head swimming at his offer.