Page 74 of Puck My Life

The emotion is so intense I have to look away.

She clears her throat. “Well, I better get going, but you have to call me and let me know how it goes.”

“Thank you for the advice.”

She smiles as she stands up, the older alpha escorting her out. They’ve forgotten the world, lost in each other.

I sit there for a long time, staring out the window at the passers-by. With a final cooling coffee, I pull out a notebook and pen and start writing. I have two columns. One for telling them and one for not.

But it’s one point that makes up my mind.

Am I going to regret this for the rest of my life if I don’t tell them?

I pack up my belongings and my bag with my blanket and head back home. It takes me a while to get there, but when I do, they aren’t here.

I shouldn’t think of it as home anymore, but I can’t seem to stop. I think this house will always be home.

On the porch is where I skinned my knees. Maria dropped a pile of bandages in front of me and went back inside. I had to figure it out on my own.

Then, later, they did it for me. We helped each other.

I let myself in and wander the house. No one is home, which makes everything anticlimactic. There’s a tiny part of me that is relieved, but the rest of me is disappointed. I had the courage, and now I have to keep it.

I go and sit on the couch, and a wave of heat crashes through me. I start sweating and tug my jacket off. It’s not enough, so I go to the kitchen and down two glasses of water, but that doesn’t help either.

My head feels thick and heavy, and I’m suddenly so tired. I shove off my pants and shoes and lay on the couch, moaning as the room spins and twirls.

There’s something really wrong with me, and I’m scared. I’m really scared. Where are my alphas?

A whine tears out of me, and I get a brief thought that I should know what’s wrong with me, but the thought disappears again, leaving me lost and floating in an island of pain.

My joints ache, my head hurts, my pulse is so loud in my ears that I can’t bear it.

I turn my head and see Deacon as he was when I first met him. His sullen glare makes me smile.

“Deacon, I missed you.”

He frowns and shuffles closer to me. “You’re sick.”

My smile fades. “I know.”

A teenage Mal kneels beside me and leans in real close, his eyes filled with concern. “Come out and play, Hook.”

“Can’t, Mal. I don’t feel good.”

He frowns and slaps a kiss to my forehead. “You are hot.”

We both snigger, but he gets up as if he hears someone calling and runs off. I want to tell him to come back, but Raynor sits on the edge of the couch, leaning down over me.

“You look like shit, Vae.”

“Sweet words won’t turn my head,” I whisper.

My eyes get heavy, but I’m scared he’ll leave, so I force them open.

“Where’d you go?”

I thrash around until I hear a sound. I open my eyes and see Maria sitting on the coffee table, knitting.