Page 128 of Puck My Life

“Indy, you look so different,” I say and look her up and down.

She shrieks. “What did you do to my house?”

“What did you do to your face?” Malcolm shoots back. When she steps towards him, he throws a cushion at her head. “Stay back, foul creature!”

“Where’s my couch?”

“Where are your eyebrows?” Raynor asks in horror. “And are you missing teeth?”

“My kitchen is ruined,” Indy snarls, ignoring us. She puts the burning stew in the sink and turns on the water.

“So is my dinner,” Raynor says dryly, putting away his bass. “How are you so pale? Have you heard of the sun? Are you a vampire, or maybe a ghoul?”

She shrieks again, louder this time. “Get my couch back.”

“I can’t, I sold it,” I say, bored. “But you should really consider going for one of those catfishing videos on social media, you know, the reveals and how people get famous off those; you would do so well. Seriously, you’d make a fortune.”

Her eyes narrow. “Get my couch back.”

“No can do, girlfriend.”

“Clean my kitchen.”

I burst into laughter. “Not happening.”

“I don’t clean,” Malcolm says. “That’s Vae’s job.”

“Are you telling me Vae cleaned, cooked, and took care of your ridiculous little house without you decorating it likethat?” She throws an arm at the couch.

“Yep.”

“Did you insult her, too?”

“Oh, all the time, but Vae was used to it. I mean, you saw, you weren’t nice to her either.”

“Because it’s unnatural for you all to be living like that.”

I squint and purse my lips. “Nah, she just promised our foster mum she’d take care of us, but now that’s your job.”

“Are there holes in my drywall?” Indy shrieks.

“Goes with the holes in your crater face,” Mal says under his breath. It’s all I can do not to laugh.

Mal throws himself onto the couch. “Indy, finish cooking for me. I’m tired. I’m going to have a sleep.”

“Cook your own food.”

“Vae always does it!” Mal says petulantly. “I’m hungry.”

“I’m not Vae!”

I cock my head to the side. “No, you’re not. You’re our girlfriend. Vae was never that.”

“I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work.” Indy declares wrathfully. She lifts her head, nose in the air.

“It won’t?” I ask in amusement.

“No.”