Page 54 of Puck My Life

I freeze, my shoulders tensing.

“Don’t deny it; I can see it. Everyone can see it, Vae.”

“They aren’t in love with me,” I say after a long pause.

“No, they aren’t. You remember what I always said? You’re family? You’re not meant to be together? I said it because I didn’t want anyone to have teenage children spitting out more teenage children. I wanted to give you guys a chance to grow, to get an education. Be someone other than what they expect of you. I knew if you were meant to be, you’d be together in the end.”

I can’t look away from her. She’s so pale. When did she get so old? The thought of her being gone sends panic through me. She’s the only parent I’ve ever had, the only stable home.

“Maria, are you well?”

“I’m fine. Tell those boys how you feel. Make them look at you and see that there’s more to the girl who played pirates and thought she could fly. They will love you when they know how. Don’t make me a plate; I think I’m just going to sleep.”

I stare at her as she hobbles out of the room, but my thoughts don’t stop whirling.

PRESENT

Deacon is leaning against the bar when I walk into Slapshots. Most of the team is gone, but I waited on purpose. I know how rowdy these team gatherings can get. Hell, I don’t think any of them get along.

I look around and spot Raynor talking with the musician in the corner, and Mal sitting at a table talking with some people I don’t recognise. They keep glancing up at the screen, and I can see hockey highlights from the last round are playing.

Slapshots is a massive room full of warm, ambient light and a crowd that is almost always here. There’s a connecting corridor that goes to the toilets and another room that I’ve seen once that they use for special occasions. The bar is a rectangle in the middle of the room, which struck me as incredibly different. On one side is an eating area with memorabilia all along the walls. On the other side are the sports TVs and tables that are standing room only. Off of that are three pool tables and an area for people who want to play darts. If you love sport, this is where you’ll find your happy.

The musician is set up on the restaurant side, though they hardly ever have anyone on. I glance at the TV. He’ll be packing up; the game’s set to start soon, and no one in here will want to listen to music when they can scream at the Hellbenders.

I turn to the bar and sidle in close to Deacon. He turns with a grin, but it falls away when he sees it’s me.

“Vae.”

“Expecting someone else?” I ask coolly. Don’t show him the hurt. He doesn’t get to see it.

“Not at all, just wondering if we’re still fighting or not.”

I tilt my head, trying for nonchalance. “I’m not fighting with you, Deacon. You hurt my feelings, something you are incredibly good at.”

Deacon regards me for a long moment. “You really wanted to fuck him?”

I seethe. “So what if I did?” I snap and then get furious with myself for sinking to his level. “Why do I bother with you?”

“Well, you’re not anymore, are you?”

He grabs his beer and turns away. “By all means, Vae. Go fuck anyone you want; no one will stop you.”

I have to resist throwing the glass that Kevin the bartender places in front of me at his stupid, fat head.

“Thank you,” I say politely. I pick up my glass and go the opposite way, ending up sitting at a table on my own, staring into space.

Mal stumbles over to me and hoists me up into his arms. From the way he staggers, I’m guessing he’s had more than a few drinks. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this drunk.

“My Veevee.”

I wince when he slaps a kiss to my cheek. “Hello, Mal.” He reeks of whiskey and beer.

“I didn’t think you were coming,” he weaves and slurs his words.

“I said I’d be here.”

Raynor catches my eye and up-nods. I lift a hand and wave back.