Page 19 of Puck My Life

I’d signed it and sent it back within minutes and then stewed on it all day, second-guessing myself.

An hour ago, I received a text message saying there was a car with a delivery for me. When I went out to the road, a nice beta handed me an envelope that was strangely heavy. A quick check showed a copy of the contract and a bank card that had a note attached saying to be used for rent.

I’m staring at it now, helpless, because I know if I set up that card or pull out the contract, it’s going to change my life, and I don’t want to. Not yet.

Footsteps in the hallway barely give me enough time to shove everything under my pillow. My door swings open, and Mal stalks in. He kicks off his shoes, lays down on my bed, pulls me into his arms, and tosses a thickly muscled thigh over my legs just for good measure.

I could drown in his caramel scent.

“Truce?”

My tension eases with his quiet question. “Okay. Just tonight.” I hesitate. “Where’s Indy?”

“She, Raynor, and Deacon had a massive fight, and she’s gone home.”

I am relieved, yet also still strangely hurt. They should dump her, wake up, and realise they want to be with me forever.

Yeah, right.

“You should have seen Deac on the ice today; he was on fire.”

I wriggle in his arms until I’m facing him, my face buried in his chest.

With anyone else, this position might be sexual, but we’ve been hugging like this for years, and it never means anything to them.

“Was he good today?”

“Good?” Mal pauses. “I’m not sure good is the word. Violent. Distressed. Furious.”

I bury my face in his chest again.

Mal strokes a hand down my back. “It was hilarious; I thought the coach was going to bust a vein. I’ve seen him mad, but not like that.”

“Is Raynor speaking?”

“Not yet. He will, though; it’s only a matter of time.” Mal kisses the top of my head. “But what did you do today?”

“Work,” I mumble, lying through my teeth.

“Was it good?”

I make a noncommittal sound. There are some evil thoughts I have that mess with my brain and try to take me down a crazy dark path. If I go to sleep, will I wake up tomorrow morning? I’m never going to experience this moment again. And this one I will never love the way I love them. Not in my lifetime.

Can loneliness kill a person?

I wonder how long until I expire.

“Have you set your alarm?” I mumble trying to suppress my anxious thoughts.

He mumbles into my hair, but I’m too content to move. This is my happy place.

“Mmm.” Mal squeezes me close to him. “Do you really have to go?”

My eyes open. He’s said this to me before. I’ve heard him say this before. To his aunt when she came for the one and only visit. To our foster carer when she died, and now to me. But I won’t be like them. I’ll still be here, won’t I? This isn’t the end of us, is it?

PRESENT

I jerk upright, reaching for my phone to silence the shrill scream. A heavy arm tries to pull me back down, and Mal snuggles into my back, groaning and rubbing, oh, God, morning wood. I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve felt it, but there could be consequences.