Page 130 of Puck My Life

“It tastes terrible. I’ll buy you a cheeseburger.”

“Indy, I need you to drive me to the store,” Mal whines.

“The store?”

“Yep. We need to get food.”

“You didn’t eat your food you cooked last night.”

“It didn’t taste good.”

“The store? What do you need? I can order online?”

“Noooo,” Mal draws out. “We have to go together because you love me. You are our girlfriend, after all. You want the perks, you have to deal with the rest.”

“I said I would date you and Deacon. I never said I would date Raynor.”

“But, baby, we’re a packaged deal. We come together.”

She growls and stomps out of the room. “Be ready in five minutes.”

I lean into my phone camera, smile, and whisper, “Who wants to go to the shops?”

I get into a massive fight with Malcolm in the shops. We knock over a giant stack of cans. Indy shouts at us, but we ignore her and keep wrestling.

“Indy, pick them up for us,” I hiss when I have Mal in a headlock.

“What?”

“Well, you’re our girlfriend, we’re famous, we can’t be seen to do it.” I whisper it to her and then walk away.

People watch her until she bends in her teeny-tiny skirt and starts re-stacking the cans.

Raynor, meanwhile, has filled three trolleys full of groceries and is currently standing by the checkout on his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Signing Indie up for Hot Daddies Looking For A Creamin’ Good Time. Car insurance quotes. Omega Match Prisoner Pen Pals. Beta Baddies and Alpha Age Gaps. All those creepy ads where they call your number day and night.”

“What?” I ask, choking on a laugh.

“Indy! I want to get some meat. Let’s go look at the meat,” Malcolm whines.

Indy’s face is bright red. “No, let’s go-”

“How can I cook you a romantic meal if you won’t even communicate with me? I try so hard, but you won’t meet me halfway,” Mal says loudly.

Indy looks around at all the people watching and mutters but walks off with him.

“Oh, here’s a good match for her. He likes long walks, drinking tea, and golden showers. Perfect, just messaged him her number.”

I laugh silently and lean on the trolley.

“I couldn’t sleep last night, so I put all those fish things she had in little jars in her curtain rods and the ugliest pair of sneakers in her wardrobe.”

“You evil genius.”

“What about you?”