Page 135 of Puck My Life

“Vae, if you were any sadder, people would look at you and burst into tears. You are a cloud of misery.”

His words sting. “I don’t mean to be.”

“Oh, I know that, Vae. If you were walking around rubbing it in, I would go off and not come back. But this is heartbreak, soul scarred, trying to put on a good face and move on, but you can’t because they are your everything. So go and get them.”

I shake my head. “I tried. I lost them. I can’t go through it again.”

Jansen puts his mug down with a thud. “I didn’t peg you as a coward.”

“They don’t love me.”

“Millions of people just watched their absolute annihilation of the person trying to hurt you and would say otherwise.”

I shake my head again and go behind the counter, tidying up.

“You can’t ignore this. Everyone is talking about it.”

“Everyone can keep talking about it.”

Jansen leans back in his chair and rolls his eyes. “You are stubborn; I will give you that. All right, my ridiculous friend. I’m heading home, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?”

“Uh, home and our weekly brunch appointment? I’ll be here at nine am.”

I watch him go and putter around trying really hard not to think about them.

I get an idea for a cake and start baking. I won’t sleep, so there’s no point in going up and even trying.

The door opens. “What did you forget?” I ask without turning around.

“I didn’t tell you how I really felt.”

The spoon drops into the mixture, and I turn, forgetting all about the cake.

“Malcolm.”

He steps further into the store, looking around and taking in everything before he returns a heated gaze to me.

“Vae. My Vae.”

For a long minute, all I can do is stare at him, drinking him in. He looks like he’s lost weight. I tear my eyes away and robotically continue pouring the cake into the tins.

The whole time, I’m aware of him moving towards me. I put the tins in the oven and stand there with my shoulders stiff and curled.

“Vae, you haven’t been taking care of yourself.”

I suck in air, almost ready to scream. He wraps his arms around me but gently, as if he’s afraid I will run.

I stay still as he tightens his hold, wrapping himself around me.

“Vae, come home.”

I shake my head. “I knew you’d find me.”

“We will always find you.”

“But I’ve prepared myself for this moment. I can’t be with you. You’ve broken the trust.”