Page 132 of Puck My Life

I don’t just upload it; I just send it to all her family and friends. Then we all rush out of the house and go down to the street. We come up, arguing, but Indy’s eyes are wide and full of tears.

“How did you do it?” She roars.

“Do what?”

“How did you send that video-” She cuts herself off short.

“What video?”

I pass her the wrap.

She takes it, opens it, and bites in. Her eyes widen and water. She rushes to the sink and spits it out.

“What is that?”

“Wasabi, it's really good for you.”

She sticks her head under the tap and tries to rinse it off.

“FUCK!”

She snaps her head towards the hallway where Mal yelled.

“I’m really sorry, Indy.”

“You’re sorry? For what?”

“I accidentally knocked your foundation into the toilet.”

“WHAT?” Her screech is terrifying. And hilarious. No more masks for the princess.

“I wanted to see if the colour matched my balls and if they’d look better with some make up on.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” Indy howls.

“Seriously, Indy, calm down.”

“What were you doing in my toilet?” She howls and grips her hair.

But my eyes widen as the hair lifts a bit.

“Oh, God, is that a wig? Are you wearing a wig? Your scalp just parted.” I flick a finger up at her head.

Indy clamps her hands down on her head and hisses at me. “Get back.”

She rushes to the mirror down the hallway.

“You know, I’m starting to think she’s like some possessed golem or something. Is anything real?” Raynor murmurs.

I continue eating my food. Her phone is ringing, pinging, the sound of my crying out ‘Baby, Come Back’ at the top of my lungs is so loud and distracting and satisfying.

She looks at all of us and shrieks when Raynor flies his remote control plane at her head.

Indy explodes, she chases after it with her teeth bared. I casually pick up her phone and answer it.

“Hello, Deacon Katz speaking. Oh, hi, Mum, I can call you Mum, right?”

Indy stops, her face going white.