Page 52 of Puck My Life

“There’s a party tonight; we're all meeting up at Slapshots. Come with us.”

She hesitates and then nods. “All right.”

The relief I feel confuses me more, so I turn and walk out of the kitchen and into my room, closing the door and reaching down, no longer denying that I have a semi for a beta I’ve denied wanting all my life.

Is it that…I actually do want to have sex with Vae?

The denials are weak and easy to drown out this time, but I can still hear Maria saying it’s wrong, telling us not to touch her. To make sure we only ever saw her as our friend. Faint and fading.

I grind my teeth as I remember the feel of her, that soft honeycomb candy scent. My dick fills with blood, getting rock hard in my fist.

I stroke from root to tip, a slow sensual squeeze, and I imagine her hand under mine. Her lips will part, and her eyes will be fixed on our hands. I’ll show her how to squeeze me, how to really get me going.

In my mind, Vae licks her lower lip, making it glossy, and looks up at me. I murmur her name. She steps in front of me and drops to her knees. When she looks up at me, I know I’m not going to last long. I stroke myself harder as the vision of her gets stronger.

I hear her murmur my name as she leans forward.

“Open your mouth,” I whisper to her.

My dream Vae opens her mouth, sticking out her tongue.

My balls tighten and toes curl. I’m so close. Vae, my Vae. I want to jam my cock down her throat. Hold her head there while she swallows all of me. Just picturing it sends me over the edge. I grunt and swipe up a t-shirt, catching my cum before I spray my bedroom with it.

I lean heavily against the door, breathing hard.

What did I just do?

Just thinking about the fact that I pictured Vae so vividly and came that hard is telling me I’m thinking too hard about this. It’s all her fault, putting ideas into my head. But, fuck, now that I’ve pictured it, I really, really want to experience it in real life.

Would Vae ever want to try? Has she thought about me like this?

I tuck myself away and toss the top into my laundry basket.

I lie on my bed on my back and stare up at the glow in the dark stars. Indy says they are childish, but Vae loves them. Whenever she comes to cuddle with me in here, she chooses a new favorite star and gives it a name.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been getting up after she leaves and writing the name on the ceiling beside the one she just named. When I get down to a couple of stars, I buy another packet and stick them up there.

If she leaves, this tradition will be finished. It will be over. I won’t get to do it again. I don’t like that at all. How can I fix this? How can I convince her to stay?

My phone rings, and I glance at it before I reject the call. Indy is done and gone. I was finished with her anyway, and I know Raynor was never really into her. Deacon broke it off, but she’s not listening to no.

I get up and rush out of my room, looking for Raynor. I find him in his bedroom and sneak in, perching on his bed. He’s sitting in his chair staring at a blank screen.

“What’s the plan?”

“Deacon is the one with the plans.” His voice is flat and lacks emotion.

“Deacon is too busy being hurt and angry. You’re the one with your head on straight, so how do we get her to stay?”

I get up and start pacing.

“I’ve tried anger, manipulation, and sadness. I’ve tried logic and honesty. Fucking hell, Raynor, I tried offering her what she wants. What else can we do?”

Raynor looks at me with dull eyes. “How do you fall in love?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” I bark, confused.

“Fall in love with her.”