Page 75 of Puck My Life

Tears fill my eyes. “I missed you.”

She scoffs.

“I did.”

She looks up and sets her knitting aside. She looks just like she did the day she died. Her hair is pinned back in a bun. She’s wearing a purple cardigan that she loved over a plain white shirt and a navy blue skirt with her no nonsense shoes. Her eyes are shrewd, hard.

“I needed a family.”

“No, you needed a safe place to survive,” she counters.

“I needed a mum.”

“I couldn’t be that. I could only be me.”

“That was enough,” I say and choke on sobs. “It was enough for me. You were the only parent I ever knew.”

“And you were my children.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

She’s standing up, her eyes on something I can’t see.

“I have to go.”

“No, stay.”

She disappears as someone rounds the couch. It’s a large shape, and I recognise the scent. That intense vanilla can only be my Raynor is back.

“Raynor?” I call out. “You came back.”

“Vae? What’s wrong with you?”

I’m burning up again.

His hand is cool and sends a chill through my body, but I reach up, clinging to it. I blink my eyes open and smile.

“Can you sing to me? Like you did when we were kids when I was scared?”

“Are you scared?” Raynor asks in panic. He yanks his phone out and holds it to his ear.

“I am scared, please sing to me. Make me feel better.”

“Get here now. It’s Vae!”

Raynor moves closer and peels the blanket off me. I scrunch up, not liking the cold, but he curses fluently and rushes out of the room, returning with a cup of water. He holds me up and puts the glass to my lips.

“Drink,” he barks, giving me no option.

I drink the whole glass and then lay back on the pillows. “Just one little song?”

He sets the glass down, his lips pressed together firmly. “One song.”

I close my eyes, but I don’t hear a single note of the song.

Vae

PAST