Page 80 of Next to Everything We Wanted

Why couldn’t making decisions be easy? That was all I’d wanted to do when I couldn’t make any for myself, but now . . . I literally couldn’t make any for myself.

I debated running away to my parents’ house again, but my last two visits had been disastrous. Asher didn’t have a phone yet, so we couldn’t text each other, though his words rebounded in my head. I miss the days when you weren’t such a jerk.

Was I really a jerk? Was it wrong for me to want to stand up for myself while still being reserved about my feelings and relationships? Why didn’t anyone respect my privacy?

Whatever, I needed food.

I hoped Phoenix and Forrest weren’t up so I could eat breakfast in peace, but both of them were eating at the dining table when I left my room. I spun on my heel, hoping they hadn’t noticed me. It was too late.

“Good morning,” Phoenix said, and I turned to face him. He had bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept well. “Your waffles are on the counter.”

“Thank you,” I said, barely smiling as I grabbed my plate of waffles.

“How did you sleep?” he asked me, pulling out the chair next to him. It looked like I was going to eat at super-human speed to get out of talking to them.

“Good,” I said, already tearing into my waffles. I took a bite, the butter blending well into the flavor. “Great waffles.”

“They must be if you’re chowing them down like that,” Phoenix said, a slight edge in his voice.

“They are,” I murmured as I ate, trying not to choke. Sheesh, I was hungry, but why did he have to make so many waffles for me? Was this some sort of trap to get us to talk? If so, well played. Still, I wouldn’t give in so easily.

Forrest finally looked up at me. He also had bags under his eyes, though they were more profound. His dark curls were a complete mess, as if he’d also been tossing and turning. Man, I wondered how badIlooked.

I waited for him to say something, trying to discern the look in his eyes. They were greener from the sunlight that streamed in, different than what I was used to. A lot heavier, but less angry.

“So, can I place bets on who’s winning the staring contest?” Phoenix asked.

I sighed, not even halfway done with my waffles.

Forrest picked at his own plate. “I don’t have anything to say.”

“Me either,” I said.

Phoenix crossed his arms. “If you say so.”

I fought the urge to groan. What did he expect us to do, pour our hearts out to each other? I wasn’t even sure if Forrest had one anymore. Mine was still there, thumping uncomfortably in my chest.

Within five minutes, I cleaned my plate and scurried back into my room. I really wanted to sit on the balcony and work on the song, but I didn’t want Phoenix or Forrest to watch me through the window. I needed to be alone.

As if the world hated me, my phone pinged with another text from Sienna.

Sienna

Good morning

You never updated me on how kicking Everett’s butt went

Do I need to call an ambulance? A homicide detective?

I snorted, gaining the courage to respond.

Gavin

I’m here

Everything is going swell

I cringed, remembering what Asher had said about no one my age using that word.