Page 127 of Next to Everything We Wanted

That was it? She blabbered on about her life story, thinking it’d explain everything. She didn’t ask about how I was doing or list the things she missed about me. It was all about her and her decisions.

She was right: she was selfish.

Frustration pouring through my veins, I shoved the letter into my desk drawer.

So, my mom had a Wikipedia page. Did that mean she got at least some of the success she wanted? I’d never come acrossher on any celebrity news channels, articles, or magazines, but working at a big record label sounded like a huge deal.

I opened my laptop and searched “Ruby Rowan.” Some of Mom’s old social media profiles came up, though she hadn’t touched them since before she’d left. Her Instagram was private, but her Facebook had a few pictures of me from when I was little.

One picture was of Mom, Dad, and I smiling together. I could see how much I resembled them—Dad with his glowing, almost golden eyes and Mom with her long espresso-colored hair, thick eyebrows, and full lips.

Longing pinched at my heart. I had the happy family I could only dream of having now. What made her think returning to music meant she had to abandon us?

I shook my head before clicking off her profile. This was the past for a reason—things weren’t supposed to be that way anymore.

When the other results showed irrelevant information, I searched her maiden name, Ruby Estrella. She’d kept her maiden name until she was pregnant with me so all our last names would match.

Thousands of results popped up, including a Wikipedia page. When I clicked on it, I was greeted with a picture of Mom smiling at an awards ceremony.

Under the early life tab, it said Mom had grown up in San Diego with her parents. It said she was married and had a daughter, but there was no elaboration.

The next section of the page explained her career. Originally, she was the lead singer of the band Starbound who failed to get signed to a label and broke up. After working a corporate job and failing with her second band, she fell back on her Management degree and worked at a record label. She worked at Comet Records for a year before getting a position at Mercury Heights Records, where she still worked as a manager.

My stomach hollowed out. Hadn’t Charm Street and Forrest Tansel been signed to Mercury Heights?

I stopped reading and clicked on the link to Mercury Heights Records’ page. I scrolled down until a list of its most popular artists appeared. Charm Street and Forrest Tansel were right at the top.

Don’t panic, I told myself as I clicked back to Mom’s page.Maybe she wasn’t at the label at the time they were together. Maybe they never interacted with her.

I absorbed every word on Mom’s Wikipedia page about her job at Mercury Heights. She was hired there the same year Charm Streets had their first few singles take off. I scrolled down until a picture made the air stop circulating in my lungs.

Mom stood in between Gavin and Justin Lockhart, with Lucas Keesler and Carter Hood on the ends. They all had award-winning smiles on their faces, wearing suits and dress pants. She was significantly shorter than them, but Gavin and Justin wrapped their arms around her like they were friends catching up at a high school reunion.

I rubbed my eyes, hoping I was seeing this wrong.

My mom used to manage Gavin Hanville.

My boyfriend.

Okay, maybe this wasn’t a bad thing. Gavin mentioned that his label screwed him over, but he never mentioned who. Maybe Mom had made his time in Charm Street more bearable. Maybe the mistakes she made were with other artists.

There was no way my mom made Gavin Hanville fall into the darkest pit of his life.

Someone knocked on the door. I jumped, exiting my browser and shutting my laptop. “Come in!”

Dad cracked open the door and smiled at me. “Hey, I’m home early. I’ll make dinner.”

Had I been too lost in my searches to hear the door chime? “Um, I-I can still make it.”

“You don’t need to. I have a new recipe I want to try.” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, um, I just read Mom’s letter.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“She just talked about her job and the beginning of your relationship and stuff. She didn’t even ask about me.”

“I’m sorry, Sea.”