Page 134 of Next to Everything We Wanted

“Really?” Raina blinked. “I thought you’d take more time to process it.”

“It makes sense,” Gracelynn said. “If she left enough unanswered questions in the letter, I’d want to know more, too.”

“That’s exactly what it is,” I said, thankful that she explained it perfectly. “There’s a lot of things she left out, like what drew her into her career and what made her feel like she had to leave. I want to know more so the questions don’t plague me.”

Arielle nodded. “You should do what you need to do to give yourself peace.”

“So, are you going to write her a letter back?” Raina asked.

I shook my head. “I think it’d be better to have the conversation in real-time.” That was what Raina and Arielle had done when they’d gotten letters from their dad in prison. Still, they didn’t have the answers for why he did what he did.

Why had Mom thought going to California to live a dream she never accomplished was better than being there for herhusband and daughter? The death of her parents could only explain so much.

Gracelynn’s parents had lost her sister, Faith, in a car accident, yet neither of them decided to leave. Sure, they weren’t the nicest people, controlling next to everything she and her brother did, but at least they were there for their kids.

“Sienna?”

I looked up at Raina, realizing I’d spaced out. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Gracelynn rubbed my back. She never showed much emotion, but sympathy shined in her eyes. “We know.”

Raina and Arielle moved over to hug me, nearly kicking Moonlight off the bed again, and Gracelynn joined the hug. Yes, even her, the queen of disliking hugs. It reminded me of the night I’d broken down at What Do You Bean after Everett had yelled at me, only I wasn’t crying this time. Tears burned in the back of my eyes, but I wasn’t crying. Not yet.

When we finished hugging, I cleared my throat. “I’ll figure things out with her. And once I know everything I need to, I can move on with my life.”

Dad ordered pizza and breadsticks from Cheesy Times for dinner, giving us a break from cooking. While we sat at the table, we caught each other up on our weeks. I was too stressed on Thursday to talk about Gavin serenading me, so I told him what had gone down.

“Serves him right to serenade you,” Dad said. “I need to have a word with him if he hurts you again.”

“Would that word involve punching and kicking?”

The corners of Dad’s lips crinkled. “It depends.”

I giggled. “You’re just like my friends.”

He rubbed my hand. “No one is allowed to hurt my girl.”

I thought about Mom and how she’d hurt us. She didn’t deserve for me to speak to her again, but the Charm Street thing was killing me. It wasn’t like I could ask Gavin, “Hey, what was your business relationship with Ruby Estrella like?”

“Can I have Mom’s number?” The words rushed out of me before I could even think.

Dad’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“I-I had some time to think about it, and I’m ready to talk to her on the phone. Just ask her a few questions since she didn’t explain everything in the letter.” I bit hard on my breadstick to keep myself from rambling.

Dad nodded. “I’m proud of you for taking this step. Are you sure, though?”

“I’m positive.” I tried to hide the eagerness in my voice so he wouldn’t get suspicious.

There’s no reason for him to be suspicious. It’s normal for someone to change their mind.

Dad pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to me. “She’s in my contacts under Ruby. Don’t scroll through our messages.”

I smiled. “I don’t want to traumatize myself.”

He chuckled. “Nothing traumatizing.”

I pulled up his contacts and found Mom’s information. Her contact picture was one from my tenth birthday, where she stood behind my chair, her big smile matching mine. The pain in my chest grew, my eyes stinging.